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Abstract

         <h2>Blood Stains On My Horse Stall Mat</h2>
            <div><h3>A thriller at my corner pizza joint</h3></div>
            <div><p>medium.com</p></div>
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    </div><p id="36f5">The result was a resounding <b>failure</b>, with a capital ‘<b>F</b>’, that is still <b>reverberating</b> in my humble writing room. The last time I saw such low engagement on a piece was <b><i>when I was crawling around in my Medium nappies still learning how to clap </i></b>in the first month I joined in April 2022.</p><p id="8387">And to top the two-scoop <b>humiliation</b> sundae with a <b>taunting</b> cherry on top, the <b>CEO</b> cold <b>ignored</b> my carefully crafted piece starring and tagging him. Nothing. Not even a <b>single finger</b> <b>clap</b>. Not even a comment to <b><i>do better.</i></b></p><figure id="8668"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*y8rUPVDio8eDIoE28QROQA.jpeg"><figcaption><b>Sitting in front of my Double-Scoop Humiliation Sundae / </b>Photo by <a href="https://unsplash.com/@vdphotography?utm_source=unsplash&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_content=creditCopyText">VD Photography</a> on <a href="https://unsplash.com/photos/GfwnPS3TTss?utm_source=unsplash&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_content=creditCopyText">Unsplash</a></figcaption></figure><p id="3a60">So how can I turn my utter <b>humiliation</b> and failure into a <b><i>self-improvement listicle?</i></b></p><p id="b205" type="7">I’m glad you asked.</p><p id="c182">Let me now announce the <b>5 stages</b> of a story <b>bombing </b>for the <b>edification</b> of <b>all</b> aspiring writers with <b><i>stars in their eyes</i></b> on Medium:</p><ol><li><b>Denial. </b><i>You tell yourself to give it a day. It’s only been <b>24 hours</b>. Maybe half the planet is having an <b>unplanned internet outage</b>. Maybe the <b>CEO</b> read it and wants to <b>meditate </b>on it for another day before responding with resounding <b>applause</b>.</i></li><li><b>Mild Worry. </b><i>Ok, it’s now been over <b>24 hours</b> and you still haven’t received your <b>participation prize</b> notification from Medium announcing: <b>“congrats, your story now has 10 fans!”</b> You start to wonder if it was something you wrote.</i></li><li><b>Full Blown Paranoia. <i>48 hours</i></b><i> has passed and you just now got your <b>participation prize</b> of <b>10 whole fans</b>. And <b>two</b> of those fans objected to the treatment of those <b>unhappy victims</b> in your story whose

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only (fatal) <b>flaw</b> was the fact they asked for <b>pineapple</b> on their <b>pizza</b>. You ask yourself: are there others out there I have <b>offended?</b></i></li><li><b>Anger. </b><i>You are convinced you are being <b>short-changed</b> and begin to <b>doubt</b> the enlightenment of your readership. You tell yourself good riddance. If people can’t tell the difference between <b>good writing</b> and <b>pineapple pizza</b>, then you will take <b>revenge</b> by <b>writing crap</b>. You also tell yourself that the <b>CEO</b> is plain <b>jealous</b> of you.</i></li><li><b>Martyrdom.</b> <i>This is the final <b>pouting</b> stage where you tell yourself you are among the biggest <b>undiscovered geniuses</b> on Medium. This is the worst of all stages as you don’t even have the <b>energy </b>or<b> wit </b>for spite or <b>revenge</b>.</i></li></ol><figure id="d639"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*p51RjeubZ1jUf1TOt-av_Q.jpeg"><figcaption><b>Deep in the throes of the final stage of watching your story bomb</b> / Photo by <a href="https://unsplash.com/@joshuaearle?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText">Joshua Earle</a> on <a href="https://unsplash.com/photos/yi6dvuynEuo?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText">Unsplash</a></figcaption></figure><p id="96a8"><b>© Carlo Zeno 2023</b></p><p id="015a">____________________</p><p id="8eaf">Thanks for reading. Before you go, check out these two well-crafted yarns by <a href="undefined">Debdutta Pal</a> and <a href="undefined">Vic Spandrio</a> below 👇</p><div id="44a8" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/walking-on-water-113bfb7e044f"> <div> <div> <h2>Walking on Water</h2> <div><h3>You can never please them, so why hide?</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*PJBcgiZRLaw7b3Qw7HytCw.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="8dfa" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/the-rome-incident-2b1982c365ee"> <div> <div> <h2>The Rome Incident</h2> <div><h3>A short story</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*TJHeQ1myorRazO_F8bodNA.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div></article></body>

Undiscovered Genius

5 Stages Of Your Story Bombing

From denial to pouting

Photo by Chandler Cruttenden on Unsplash

Recently I was seduced into a writing challenge by that snake-oil satirist, Smillew. The story had to feature CEO Coach Tony, a pizza restaurant, and a couple of horse stall mats.

To up the stakes, the CEO had to be tagged in the story, as you would get huge bonus points if you got his attention, compelling the busy Coach to stop whatever managerial activities he might be involved in, to read, comment, and engage with your story.

Intrigued? Here is the prompt right here:

Coach Tony’s Prompt of the Month: Horse Stall Mats

Get off your high horse (stall mats)

medium.com

Being the unstable basket case that I am, I of course took the bait. What kind of prize would induce me to risk my short Medium career on such a hazardous enterprise?

Here is a list of the mouth-watering prizes that seductive marketer, Smillew, had on offer:

Fame, Fun, Followers, Free Stuff, a Frisbee, and maybe a Frittata.

So I made sure to write a good little crime caper, featuring two horse stall mats, a cast iron shovel, blood, and a river. And I was sure to tag the busy CEO. Here is the story here. I dare you to leave a comment on it.

Blood Stains On My Horse Stall Mat

A thriller at my corner pizza joint

medium.com

The result was a resounding failure, with a capital ‘F’, that is still reverberating in my humble writing room. The last time I saw such low engagement on a piece was when I was crawling around in my Medium nappies still learning how to clap in the first month I joined in April 2022.

And to top the two-scoop humiliation sundae with a taunting cherry on top, the CEO cold ignored my carefully crafted piece starring and tagging him. Nothing. Not even a single finger clap. Not even a comment to do better.

**Sitting in front of my Double-Scoop Humiliation Sundae /** Photo by VD Photography on Unsplash

So how can I turn my utter humiliation and failure into a self-improvement listicle?

I’m glad you asked.

Let me now announce the 5 stages of a story bombing for the edification of all aspiring writers with stars in their eyes on Medium:

Denial. You tell yourself to give it a day. It’s only been 24 hours. Maybe half the planet is having an unplanned internet outage. Maybe the CEO read it and wants to meditate on it for another day before responding with resounding applause.
Mild Worry. Ok, it’s now been over 24 hours and you still haven’t received your participation prize notification from Medium announcing: “congrats, your story now has 10 fans!” You start to wonder if it was something you wrote.
Full Blown Paranoia. 48 hours has passed and you just now got your participation prize of 10 whole fans. And two of those fans objected to the treatment of those unhappy victims in your story whose only (fatal) flaw was the fact they asked for pineapple on their pizza. You ask yourself: are there others out there I have offended?
Anger. You are convinced you are being short-changed and begin to doubt the enlightenment of your readership. You tell yourself good riddance. If people can’t tell the difference between good writing and pineapple pizza, then you will take revenge by writing crap. You also tell yourself that the CEO is plain jealous of you.
Martyrdom. This is the final pouting stage where you tell yourself you are among the biggest undiscovered geniuses on Medium. This is the worst of all stages as you don’t even have the energy or wit for spite or revenge.

**Deep in the throes of the final stage of watching your story bomb** / Photo by Joshua Earle on Unsplash

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Thanks for reading. Before you go, check out these two well-crafted yarns by Debdutta Pal and Vic Spandrio below 👇