5 Relationship Breaks All Couples Need To Thrive During 2022

Every relationship is a continuous work in progress.

If you're here, you've probably felt that having a break from your relationship could help you find the strength to say goodbye.

But, perhaps there's a way to turn a break into the healing time you need to keep growing together.

Did you know Covid-19 caused a significant spike in divorce rates? See where I'm going? A break from years of confinement could be what we need but are too afraid to ask.

Given the circumstances, breaks are opportunities to work on our mental and emotional health after years of overwhelming, draining, and neverending worldwide experiences.

A second chance at love:

Going on a relationship break feels exactly as it sounds, like a clean cut. But it doesn't have to be a traumatic experience.

A break means giving each other space, a temporary separation to put things in perspective.

The type of break I'm advocating here is not about taking your pillow and sleeping in the guest bedroom. No, it is somewhat more effective, but a little bit harder.

It entails real physical distance and a tremendous call for introspection. In addition, marriage isn't easy because it's a great source of fantasies, expectations, and, therefore, frustration.

The constant struggle between balancing your personal and relationship needs makes us wonder: did I make the right choice? Is cheating after ten years that bad?

First, there's taking a break, and there's breakup:

However, a break can be a non-disruptive way to consider new scenarios more in line with the current reality: you have changed over the years and have new goals and dreams.

Of course, not all coaches and therapists will agree on breaks being the next big thing in couple's therapy. Some might even say a break is just a divorce in disguise.

But if you can go past that fear and rethink what taking a break means, you might have the opportunity to work on what's really preventing you from enjoying the relationship you already have.

Taking a break in your relationship is not an excuse to cheat:

So, if you want to take a break from your relationship to make it work, let's say there's a golden rule.

Don't use the break as an excuse to jump in bed with your partner's best friend, the lifeguard at the local pool, and Devon from work.

Unless you've agreed on a "free for all," sleeping with someone else during a break could still be considered cheating.

Now, the five breaks every adult relationship needs to survive:

1. A break to look at yourself closer:

Before taking a break in your relationship, ask yourself this life-changing question: What's your part in the deterioration of the relationship?

We tend to focus on how our relationship's needs and love expectations aren't being met, paying little to no attention to our wrongdoings.

We sometimes turn a blind eye to how many personal growth goals we still need to achieve.

Do you have a long list of things you would like to change from your partner?

They also have a list of things they would like to change about you or how you meet their relationship needs.

Nobody is perfect, and every story has at least two versions.

Accepting we are flawed too, with opportunities to improve our communication skills, goes a long way to keep the relationship in motion.

2. A break to rethink sex:

I know you heard it before; it takes two to tango.

That dry spell has both of your names on it and can only be solved if the two of you put some extra effort into reigniting the flame.

Recognizing our contribution to whatever's affecting the relationship's balance is a huge step forward. Ask yourself this:

• What are you doing to make your partner feel loved every day?
• What are you doing to keep the desire alive?
• Are you the only one emotionally invested enough to bring these subjects up for discussion?

Though this is not an article about how going to swinger's parties could light up your sex life or strategies to communicate your sexual needs better, let's admit those are options we all might have considered at one point or another.

I write for real people, not saints.

Talk about your fantasies without assuming that what seems sexy to you can't be sexy for someone else.

Also, don't condemn or shame your partner for having different interests and kinks. Kink-shaming leads to frustrated desires, where fights and bitterness thrive.

I firmly believe that individual sexual practices like having fantasies, watching porn, or masturbating are signs of healthy sex life.

But if you feel your partner's tastes hurt your feelings, be clear about how important maintaining that boundary is for you.

On the other hand, try questioning your beliefs and what aspects of your partner enjoying their sexuality without you make you feel threatened.

We all can learn a lot from being away from our partners. For instance, their absence gives us the chance to reconnect with desire.

3. Take a break from your idea of ​​love and marriage:

Though we were born to live in groups, marriage is an artificial institution created with specific intentions: having kids, saving on rent, and easing up on the fear of dying alone.

But the relationship landscape has changed a lot since the 50s, and so have our expectations regarding relationships.

A marriage is a partnership to make you a better version of yourself. It's not a coincidence we end up loving people that can mirror our family issues and struggles.

Don't forget you're their mirror too, and you also need to rethink your attachment style, love expectations, and idealizations that can be hurting your relationship.

4. A break from in-laws:

There's not much to add here. We all know how toxic in-laws can be sometimes, and they can become reason enough to get a divorce.

So if there's an uncut umbilical cord between you, take action as fast and definitively as possible.

5. A break to re-evaluate your shared and personal goals:

This advice is very simple, what's your primary focus in life right now? Is it work? Is it raising your children?

Amid all the things precious to you, what is it about yourself that you're missing? Sometimes we get lost and stop pursuing our passions, thinking we do it for the relationship.

The result is typically the opposite, and taking the time to think about that might be exactly what you need.

Sometimes relationships need a break so we can find ourselves again and the strength to keep working on the relationship we care about so much.

When your relationship needs a break, consider this:

Putting a hiatus on a big fight can also save you and your partner from all the anguish of saying things you'll regret.

A break can be a metaphorical comma from which your relationship can recover after undergoing a process of healing.

Go beyond what's obvious, and you might find your relationship still has a pulse; it's just waiting for a couple of adrenaline shots, mojitos, and couples' therapy.

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