5 Handy Mindshifts For Shockingly Good Anal Sex

All the essentials you’ll need to have a finger in every pie.

Anal sex could be considered a universal practice, but it has a bad rap. The first problem with anal is that we never seem to have enough experience and information to call ourselves experts.

If you plan to go deeper, these four recommendations can turn anal sex into an incredible I-can’t-get-enough-of-it situation, changing your peach game from amateur to pro.

Now, let’s cut to the chase and roll up our sleeves. These are the five ultimate flawless tips for shockingly good anal sex.

1. Anal starts in your mouth:

Hold on, cowboy! We’ll talk about rimming some other time (I promise).

Without a doubt, the first step to enjoying anal sex is talking about it in detail with your sexual partner.

There’s an essential set of communication tools you will need to have a fulfilling sex life. That’s because anal sex -amongst other less conventional practices- requires a second round of consent to pull off.

In addition, reaching the required intimate connection for anal involves planning and a fair amount of tongue.

That’s right; words come before lube.

Way before getting your fingers (or mouth) anywhere close to another person’s anus, you need to ask them these four questions:

• Do you like anal play?
• Would you like to try anal penetration with me?
• How much experience do you have with anal?
• Which preferences do you have regarding anal sex?

If you think this interrogatory could turn you off or feels somewhat excessive, please leave a frontal mugshot in the comments so everyone else can avoid having a surprisingly painful anal encounter with you.

A conversation about sex is always an excellent opportunity to heat things up with the right person. Put all feelings of shame aside, and remember sexuality between two adults thrives on consent, communication, and curiosity.

2. Don’t focus on the destination. Enjoy the ride.

Keeping this ace under your sleeve will make you the greatest anal master ever.

Combine anal stimulation with oral sex, kisses, masturbation, and everything that can enhance pleasure for your receptive partner.

I’ve already shared detailed secrets to enjoying anal sex, but it’s essential to keep these five things in mind.

There’s no such thing as too much lube:

The anus provides a minimal amount of natural lubrication for us to defecate. Meaning if you want to use that natural lube, you’d have to go in there dry, which can be catastrophic. So, the reality is, that you need exorbitant amounts of lube for anal play to be pleasurable.

Toys are a fantastic way to start:

If you and your partner are beginning to venture into the backdoor playground, there is a lot of anal fingering, a variety of plugs, and probably weeks of stretching you’ll need to enjoy together before penetration can even cross your mind.

There’s a right angle to it:

You want to go upwards, always. Check on an anatomic model, and you will see how the anus has an angle that you need to follow to provide pleasure and avoid lesions.

And there are ways, too:

Go for positions that allow your receptive partner’s control or provide some comfortable breathing space.

Keep it clean:

I encourage you to consider wearing latex gloves. Rubbers are not only sanitary, but they will also prevent STD transmission.

3. Think about anal sex as a process:

Well, two processes, to be precise.

The first one happens within your mind, and another process occurs in your bum.

For both the receptive and the giving partner, anal is a whole new experience. It’s not only a different hole but a different sensation regarding pressure and tightness.

Yet, I suspect the most intriguing and pleasurable element of anal sex is how kinky we feel while enjoying that “forbidden pleasure.”

Unlike our mouths and vaginas, anuses are specially designed to contain. In fact, as toddlers, our parents are entirely focused on teaching us ways to communicate our needs, training us to walk, and how to control our sphincters.

Why? Because we need to keep it together. Both literally and metaphorically. Nonetheless, many of us start to build our idea of sex during that period.

Let that sink in, and think of what anal sex entails.

When you’re trying to convince a person to engage in anal play for the first time, you’re looking to tear deeply rooted commands and behavioral conditionings that make them shame away from all the poopy-related stuff.

It’s not easy to go against rules so intertwined in the unconscious. That’s why anal play requires a lot of trust, communication, and a particular disposition to go against the rules.

Engaging in anal play requires the rebel side of you to take control over new forms of experiencing pleasure that was forgotten long ago.

That’s why it feels sinful, freeing and why some of us can’t seem to get enough.

4. Be willing to bend over backward:

While doing my research, I found that one of the main reasons women engage in anal intercourse is to obtain secondary forms of pleasure.

I hate to say you should think about sex as an exchange, but it’s an exchange.

Call it energy, passion, pleasure, fulfilling expectations… All of us get naked to go after something we find pleasurable.

Even anal sex goes through the sieve of communication and negotiations. Is there something your partner has been begging you to try? Is there something else you could put on the table to make your partner reconsider anal?

If you push too much for one particular thing when negotiating anything, you probably won’t get what you’re looking for. Instead, if you look at a range of options together is more likely you two find some orgasmic common ground.

5. But I tried everything, and the answer’s still no:

If you’re in a committed monogamous relationship, you can always have a conversation to understand your partner’s perspective and put yourself in their shoes.

Remember: no means no.

But, if there’s mutual interest in practicing anal sex, think of it as an acquired taste. Even experienced fisters know that you can only get there one finger at a time.

Why don’t you try being the receptive partner? That can give you a deeper knowledge of everything anal.

Practicing what you preach is the best way to open your relationship to new forms of pleasure.

Sex is all about desire, and desire is an impulse that starts in our brains, not in our genitals.

Start tickling where it matters the most.