4 Ugly Truths About Expectation That People Need To Know

Simple things become complicated when we expect too much

Expectations are a vital part of our daily existence.

Simply put, it is how we hope or anticipate that life will be.

Many times, we undertake certain endeavours with a goal in mind. In our relationships, academic pursuit, career choice and life in general, there is always an expectation of how we want things to turn out.

We give it our all, expecting to get a commensurate measure of what we have put in. It’s like sewing a seed and hoping that the seed will grow into a beautiful plant, just because you have watered and nurtured it.

For instance, anyone that pursues an academic degree would expect to get a good job after labouring so hard.

Now, what happens when your expectations are not met?

What happens when your life-long plans don’t work out as planned?

The thing with expectation is that everyone has it. No matter how hard we try to act like it’s nothing serious, we build our expectations based on what we want from others or from ourselves.

We put in work because we want to see results.

The truth is, as humans, expectations form an integral part of our lives, particularly unrealistic ones.

Here are some deep truths that we often ignore when building expectations:

1. Unexpected events happen all the time.

Certain events beyond our control could happen, leading to a disruption of what we had originally envisaged.

This is because nothing in life is sure. Some things happen by chance.

Some years ago, my friends and I started a business and it failed woefully. After putting in so much effort time and energy, nothing could save the business. This taught me a great lesson about life; anything can happen at any time.

The world is dealing with the coronavirus pandemic right now. Who would have thought that things would be like this? Many businesses have shut down, many relationships have failed, a lot of people have lost their loved ones.

No one saw this coming.

Life has its funny twists and turns and too much expectation could lead to great disappointment.

“There are ways to be happy: improve your reality or lower your expectations.”- Jodi Picoult

2. Don’t expect too much from others

At some point, we may have blamed others for our problems or outcomes. This is because we put so much of our lives in their hands, while forgetting that they are humans too.

No one is infallible and everyone is prone to making mistakes.

“The best things in life are unexpected- because there were no expectations.” — Eli Khamarov

When we set high expectations on others, we are leaving room for success just as we are also anticipating disappointment. The result could be one of both.

3. You can’t have it all

Over the years, I have come to terms with the fact that not everyone will have everything they want. As humans, our needs are insatiable. That’s why we are consistently hungry for more and striving to get to the next best level.

It’s not like I set low standards for myself, but reality has shown me over and over that sometimes, compromises and sacrifices also have to be made.

In life, time and experience are the best teachers.

Truly, life is not a day’s journey and everything is set in stages.

4. Understand that you won’t always get what you give

In love and life, not everyone will reciprocate how you expect them to.

Even though you may have nursed a preconceived idea on how you expect to be treated because you feel that you deserve it, it’s good to also leave room for eventualities.

Now, I am not playing the devil’s advocate here, I am simply of the opinion that you can accept people and situations as they are, without wanting too much in return.

Something I always tell myself is this : Nobody owes me anything

The same happens with nature, you may not always get what you have given.

It’s easy to expect so much, without realizing that flaws and changes are crucial aspects of life.

We can’t control everything that happens, particularly outcomes. Sometimes, we are so fixated on the outcome that we don’t even observe the means of reaching it.

If you expect nothing from somebody, you are never disappointed — Sylvia Plath