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sharing your vulnerability.</p><p id="224f">Also, you need to move past your own perceived convictions.</p><p id="98d4"><i>Six years and the man approaches me again! This is the first time I have not pushed him out of my life because he has stopped being the headache. I used to think that my only regret would be that someone I fell for never understood me but turns out he became the first guy who knows me well even though I did not communicate with him much.</i></p><p id="3a0e"><i>He figured it out on his own. He thanked me for being kind to him all those years and as much as I want him to leave me alone, hearing that this person can finally know the real me was music to my ears!</i></p><h2 id="1b18">How To Not Fail At Communication:</h2><p id="4d89">It is very simple. I use it all the time!</p><p id="0373">Just Talk your way into their understanding level! Keep trying to explain in every possible way for them to understand.</p><p id="f60d"><b><i>If they love you, they will listen to what you have to say and they will </i>hear<i> you!</i></b></p><p id="cba1">If they don’t love you and in my case, my ex didn’t, then you can leave them after planting your seed and let time heal their ego and wounds so one day they might approach you back and see you clearly.</p><h2 id="cb95">#3 Time</h2><p id="1a5a">You gotta nurture your seed of a relationship for it to grow into a big strong tree.</p><p id="8845">It takes time for the river to reach the ocean.</p><p id="853a">Give them time.</p><p id="a736">If they are a good soul and shine as bright as you then you both need to give each other time.</p><p id="de80">Giving time does not mean leaving each other alone. Be there for each other because if you don’t be there then one of you will fail in maintaining the bond you both share.</p><h2 id="c19e">How to Not Fail</h2><p id="c6eb">Do not hurry. Give yourself time and give your partner time.</p><p id="331d">Change is the most permanent thing in this world and that means you both will grow and become better.</p><p id="45a9">So water each other and give them enough time to grow. Communicate your needs, your space and let them honour yours.</p><p id="a6b6">If you matter to each other, time is nothing but moments in phases.</p><p id="ae73">The next point is the best one to use time in a relationship to make a respectful space for each other.</p><h2 id="b4b8">#4 From a Place of Judgement Rather LOVE.</h2><p id="fe4e">This is my favourite and I am still a beginner on this idea.</p><p id="f441">Every time I speak to someone I really admire, I question myself on how I approach them, I question if I am approaching them from a place of fear of being wrongly judged by them or from a place of love and respect for them and myself so I can be my authentic self.</p><p id="afd5">Then I remind myself that I need to approach every conversation from a place of love and hope that they approach me the same way because if they do then there won’t be any judgement that I need to worry about and if they judge me then I know I did right by my soul and my intentions were only to love them.</p><blockquote id="13ab"><p>We encounter every situation, every person we meet either from a place of lack, fear, judgement or <a href="https://readmedium.com/show-up-from-a-place-of-love-not-fear-9de2c39ef1fc">from a place of love</a>.</p></blockquote><p id="1e4e"><i>Where do you come from when you approach another person?</i></p><p id="684e"><b><i>How do you see your partner?</i></b></p><p id="312f"><b><i>Do you judge the person you love or do you accept and try to understand them deeply?</i></b></p><p id="130f"><i>Are you approaching your lover from a place of <b>love</b> or <b>judgement</b>?</i></p><h2 id="e1b5">How to Not Fail</h2><p id="b774"><a href="https://readmedium.com/5-questions-you-can-ask-yourself-to-deeply-understand-yourself-cd3bd4492b83?sk=a59ed88d9809550af15d00db0809faf6">Question</a> your actions and thoughts,</p><p id="530e">Do you hate your partner’s parents because they are annoying or does not have an open mind or do you come from

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a place of love where you know that no matter who they are and what they believe in, because of them you met your loving human partner and you will forever be grateful that he or she is here because of his or hers parents?</p><p id="df52">Do you judge your partner for being argumentative or do you try to understand if all they want you is to make them understand that you heard them?</p><p id="dae3">Do you hold grudges when they forget your birthday or do you love them for making your day best even when it is not your birthday?</p><p id="ec3b">I hardly remember anyone’s birthday but I genuinely care about people. That is just who I am and maybe instead of being upset, all you need is to communicate your needs and maybe your partner will understand and honour your wishes.</p><p id="fa29">Give yourself and your partner, time.</p><p id="81e4">If they are important, you will find ways to always approach every scenario from the place of love and once it becomes your habit, life and love will be blissful.</p><p id="ba85">p.s. <i>I remember birthdays now because I know it matters more to my loved ones even though it doesn’t matter to me.</i></p><figure id="11d7"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/0*SBR1kz77vmz6m_ca"><figcaption>Photo by <a href="https://unsplash.com/@pabloheimplatz?utm_source=medium&utm_medium=referral">Pablo Heimplatz</a> on <a href="https://unsplash.com?utm_source=medium&utm_medium=referral">Unsplash</a></figcaption></figure><p id="c8ac"><b><i>Namasté Lots of Love!</i></b></p><div id="2582" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/show-up-from-a-place-of-love-not-fear-9de2c39ef1fc"> <div> <div> <h2>Show Up From A Place of Love, Not Fear</h2> <div><h3>Short Read on How to always make the most self-fulfilling actions</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*4KAAjybjDfDl5o06)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="bf38" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/on-thinking-alone-ef30a00f6896"> <div> <div> <h2>On Thinking Alone</h2> <div><h3>How to Deal With Your Thoughts When You’re Alone With Them.</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*ZqS9jZ8_FmV4opH5)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="d9a2" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/5-questions-you-can-ask-yourself-to-deeply-understand-yourself-cd3bd4492b83"> <div> <div> <h2>5 Questions You Can Ask Yourself To Deeply Understand Yourself</h2> <div><h3>Make positive changes in life by understanding yourself better.</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*K5LaGE1iAQKX7i7D)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="35f5" class="link-block"> <a href="https://shiv22.medium.com/4-simple-techniques-to-build-your-relationship-with-others-strong-275943c4ff10"> <div> <div> <h2>4 Simple Techniques to Build Your Relationship With Others Strong.</h2> <div><h3>Master these to bring in more peace and love.</h3></div> <div><p>shiv22.medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*2WoaLsa3VtkzxpqL1J7peQ.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div></article></body>

4 Reasons Why Relationships May Fail

And how to Not fail at it!

Love.

Love works great when it is both ways. This piece is for those who are in a relationship or who are on the seed stage of their relationship but the piece is only for two people to work on, even a clap requires two hands.

Love is a tree with many branches. That brings me to our first branch, I present you the first desire you had when you were a child;

#1 Human Need For Attention

Ever since you were born and if you notice a baby or child, you will know that we all desire attention from our parents because through that attention we feel loved.

It is very simple to know.

My Favourite reason and most disturbing as everyone gets it wrong.

We all need attention whether you’re aware of it or not, you need attention.

We all have this need to belong somewhere or to someone and that is only fulfilled when we are valued, loved, given attention to.

Relationships fail when one person is always present for their partner's need for attention while the other is ignorant.

One is the giver and the other is the receiver. This means it is doomed to fail one day because in the end the giver will be burnt out.

How To Not Fail:

“one way to express your love to your loved ones is to be present in their presence”~ Dandapani

Be there for your partner. Listen mindfully.

Be present in their presence and let them notice your affection for them.

We all want to be heard. We all want to be understood deeply.

We all want genuine attention from our loved ones. Why don’t we try to give that first?

Give them your attention and you will find your relationship blossom.

#2 Communication

I am a huge advocate of clear communication.

I am good at speaking my truth honestly and making someone understand where I come from only if they listen, I can clearly state what I feel and how I feel certain emotions.

I was with someone who was not willing to communicate directly.

Anything that came out of my mouth, he misunderstood.

After we broke up, he would approach me from time to time, this happened for years and it always ended up on me removing him from my social media because he would react negatively to everything I say to him.

Before pushing him out of my life, I tell him that he perceives me wrong and that he misunderstood me.

I knew he was not ready to understand but always plant your seed. To my surprise, it grew!

If you want to make a relationship work, you have to communicate a lot because two people coming from different backgrounds will have different ways of perceiving their reality.

The only way you can be understood and understand someone is through communication.

Not just a regular way of talking but deep stuff, telling your partner how you feel when they said something to you, sharing your pain, triggers and fears so they can know where your reactions come from and if they love you, they will value you for sharing your vulnerability.

Also, you need to move past your own perceived convictions.

Six years and the man approaches me again! This is the first time I have not pushed him out of my life because he has stopped being the headache. I used to think that my only regret would be that someone I fell for never understood me but turns out he became the first guy who knows me well even though I did not communicate with him much.

He figured it out on his own. He thanked me for being kind to him all those years and as much as I want him to leave me alone, hearing that this person can finally know the real me was music to my ears!

How To Not Fail At Communication:

It is very simple. I use it all the time!

Just Talk your way into their understanding level! Keep trying to explain in every possible way for them to understand.

If they love you, they will listen to what you have to say and they will hear you!

If they don’t love you and in my case, my ex didn’t, then you can leave them after planting your seed and let time heal their ego and wounds so one day they might approach you back and see you clearly.

#3 Time

You gotta nurture your seed of a relationship for it to grow into a big strong tree.

It takes time for the river to reach the ocean.

Give them time.

If they are a good soul and shine as bright as you then you both need to give each other time.

Giving time does not mean leaving each other alone. Be there for each other because if you don’t be there then one of you will fail in maintaining the bond you both share.

How to Not Fail

Do not hurry. Give yourself time and give your partner time.

Change is the most permanent thing in this world and that means you both will grow and become better.

So water each other and give them enough time to grow. Communicate your needs, your space and let them honour yours.

If you matter to each other, time is nothing but moments in phases.

The next point is the best one to use time in a relationship to make a respectful space for each other.

#4 From a Place of Judgement Rather LOVE.

This is my favourite and I am still a beginner on this idea.

Every time I speak to someone I really admire, I question myself on how I approach them, I question if I am approaching them from a place of fear of being wrongly judged by them or from a place of love and respect for them and myself so I can be my authentic self.

Then I remind myself that I need to approach every conversation from a place of love and hope that they approach me the same way because if they do then there won’t be any judgement that I need to worry about and if they judge me then I know I did right by my soul and my intentions were only to love them.

We encounter every situation, every person we meet either from a place of lack, fear, judgement or from a place of love.

Where do you come from when you approach another person?

How do you see your partner?

Do you judge the person you love or do you accept and try to understand them deeply?

Are you approaching your lover from a place of love or judgement?

How to Not Fail

Question your actions and thoughts,

Do you hate your partner’s parents because they are annoying or does not have an open mind or do you come from a place of love where you know that no matter who they are and what they believe in, because of them you met your loving human partner and you will forever be grateful that he or she is here because of his or hers parents?

Do you judge your partner for being argumentative or do you try to understand if all they want you is to make them understand that you heard them?

Do you hold grudges when they forget your birthday or do you love them for making your day best even when it is not your birthday?

I hardly remember anyone’s birthday but I genuinely care about people. That is just who I am and maybe instead of being upset, all you need is to communicate your needs and maybe your partner will understand and honour your wishes.

Give yourself and your partner, time.

If they are important, you will find ways to always approach every scenario from the place of love and once it becomes your habit, life and love will be blissful.

p.s. I remember birthdays now because I know it matters more to my loved ones even though it doesn’t matter to me.