Fear, Self-defence, Coping Mechanism
4 Fear Response Category to Protect Yourself
And how to recover and balance
The emotion of fear is one of the essential parts of human beings. Our brain has its own defense mechanism when we feel threatened and unsafe. Once we fear, our brain how we feel safe again from the situation that stimulates us to take certain actions to protect ourselves. The human experience of fear starts in the amygdala area, the brain that processes many of our emotions. When the amygdala is activated due to possible danger, it acquires the fear response within you. When we believe we are in danger, we stimulate “the scary” feeling and find out the way to become safe again. This condition may also be produced by artificial triggers such as horror movies, extreme sports, adrenaline-pumping rides, etc. While the amygdala area processes emotional experiences, the frontal lobe and prefrontal cortex are responsible for things like language and impulsive behavior. At that time, we may start breathing faster, feel our heartbeat quicken, and whole-body becomes tense then our brain re-routes the energy to the amygdala then slowing down processing in other areas then making a quick decision what to do next. That’s the reason it can be difficult to speak or make rational decisions when we are afraid or in other conditions where emotion predominates over logic.
There are 4 conditions that may arise when the fearful condition along with negative sides as well. Why am I only making a point about the downside? is it because in my opinion protecting yourself is already the form of positive action. You are responsible for protecting yourself not others. Though the defense we make may not be entirely good. So, I will try to break down the details of the following forms of defense along with how to minimize the negative side.
Flight (Escapism Response)
This type will definitely get as far away from the dangerous situation as quickly as possible. These types think if they don’t run away soon, the situation they should face will be much worse. Running away is their way of protecting themselves when they know they will “lose” if they choose to face it. In fact, this way isn’t bad because when we are afraid we tend to listen to our emotions. Taking some off will help you cool down so you can think more clearly and rationally so that the decisions you make are not biased.
Negative side
Sometimes there are many conditions where the problem needs to be resolved immediately. Because no problem is solved by itself. This is just a delay before we can’t help but like it or not, we should face it. If this problem is related to the closest people such as family, spouse, or friends. This method may be a little annoying for them especially if their defense mechanism is “fight”. You will be considered indifferent and underestimate what is an issue for them.
How to Balance
To be honest, I am ever close with someone with this type of defense mechanism. Actually, I’ve been upset because I feel like That person doesn’t care about things that are an issue for me. But actually, what I don’t demand much, I only need communication if that person really needs time and can’t have a discussion right now. I’ll let it take its time. But if you suddenly run away, I feel like you are not respected me. So, if you belong to this type, try to be more open and deliver to the people closest to you. Also determine how long you need time, especially for problems with deadlines such as work, bills, your sick family, etc that require quick action. If you are confused, try asking the opinion of the people closest to you so you don’t get stuck in one perspective.
Fight (Aggression response)
This type is the opposite zone from “flight”. If “flight” tends to try the escapism method, this person will face any perceived threat aggressively. This type is usually assertive, to the point and already has solid boundaries. I personally like to get along with this type because for me assertiveness will reduce unnecessary drama in life and make problems more quickly resolved. In addition, this type tends to know themselves better. Therefore, they are not afraid to say what they think is true.
Negative side
Some conditions allow them to look like physical fights, yelling, physical aggression, throwing things, and property destruction. Usually, the mood is less stable because they are often impulsive because they immediately act on their intuition. There may also be an inappropriate decision taken because it was decided in the hot zone conditions.
How to balance
Try to take some time to slow down and think about how you are positioning yourself at the moment. Although protecting yourself is a good thing but if you are careless you can hurt the people you care about. In order to release this, you can practice deep breathing, warmth shower routines, mindfulness habit, and take some time off to yourself. The fight response preps you to be physical, so you can also lean into exercise to allow the body to calm down and achieve equilibrium.
Freeze (Denial response)
This type is still and quiets until the danger through. This area can be the transition zone when “the flight” tried to confront and “the fight” tried to take a pause before acting. However, for the group, freezing is a natural response and not a transitional phase usually, they tend to do nothing because at that time they were experiencing extraordinary anxiety. They shut out the problem by pretending like it’s not happening. This often occurs in women who were almost raped or experienced sexual harassment. This type usually has a past trauma or crisis of confidence where on the one hand he wants to defend himself, but on the other hand, he is not completely sure if his actions are right.
Negatives side
Freeze vulnerable felt disconnected from his own body. When he freezes and can’t do anything, his blood pressure slowly drops and he doesn’t feel like he belongs where he is. This type is a defense mechanism that doesn’t hurt other people, but if left unchecked, it has the potential to feel worthless and undeserved, which is much more dangerous.
How to balance:
In my opinion, feelings of worthlessness arise partly because we feel lost and lose our identity. Everyone must have experienced this but the position is more for the freeze. So the only solution is to spend some time with yourself, give yourself tons of love, and try to listen to what is in your heart. You will be amazed because after everything that happened you’re still worth it.
Fawn (Enemy pleasure)
This type tends to immediately act to try to please to avoid any conflict. Usually, the fawn thinks another feeling matters more than theirs. They don’t want to hurt others then become over apologize about something. They can’t say how you think and feel clear because they too overthink with other reactions. Although in the general category of fawn including two-faced people, in my opinion in this case is different. They just don’t know how to express themselves, so usually, the conflict of debate is clearly visible in their heads before they even act. Just imagining it has scared them so they prefer the safe zone by siding with the trouble maker with the aim of not continuing the conflict.
Negative effects
Actually, this type is a bit close to the freeze zone. The difference is that Freeze is more neutral by staying silent, but the Fawn is trying to please their opponent. For me, this can be bad because there is a possibility that they will complain behind other people’s backs to people they think are safe and comfortable. If you’re talking about someone you’re emotionally close to, there’s a good chance that person will feel betrayed because you were nice to them. And like the freeze, this also allows you to be taken for granted and end up hurting yourself.
How to balance
For me personally, I feel more pain when the people closest to me complain behind my back but act nice upfront. Mixed emotions that I feel like it turns out she isn’t comfortable enough being honest with me, feeling disappointed in myself because it turns out that the people closest to me think that way about me. So, I think people in this phase need to learn how to say no and be true about their feelings. When someone is angry with you, first ask yourself if your actions hurt or harmed them. If not at all, there’s no need to apologize. Maybe he just hasn’t been able to respect other people’s boundaries.
Final Thoughts
Fear responses don’t always fit into one category only. You may not over-rely on the same defenses whenever you encounter fear. Mindful can help reduce anxiety when you are feeling insecure. Learn to fight fear from small things first. Slowly this will form your defense mechanism when faced with even more frightening situations. In the past, I only knew flight and fight for the defense mechanism category. Later I found out that there were 4. But I seem to understand why fight and flight are more familiar in society. Maybe because these two types already know themselves better. Meanwhile, the freeze and fawn types still have problems with an identity crisis, so they will be more anxious when they are scared.