30 of the Best Maths Jokes That Will Test Your Intelligence to the Limits
Think yourself a maths whizz, here is the chance to find out
Mathematics is typically either a person’s favourite subject or most hated subject, with little in between. For those who love maths, here are 30 of the best maths jokes that will most certainly test your intelligence to the limits.
Disclaimer: much numerical wizardry ahead, you have been warned.
Why can you never trust a geometry teacher? They spend a lifetime plotting things.
Why did the student do multiplication problems on the floor? The teacher told him not to use tables.
Why do maths teachers always have so many children? They are very good at multiplication.
Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven, eight, nine.
How do you make seven even? Subtract the “S”.
A guy says to his friend: “Did you hear about the guy who drowned crossing a river?” “No, how did that happen?” “It was the statistician’s fault, he told him it was three feet deep… But forgot to say on average.”
An English scholar laments to his friend, “I hate it when people say age is only a number.” “Why?” says his friend, puzzled. “Because age is clearly a word.”
A guy’s wife told him he needed to stop cheating on his diet by eating 40 percent of their son’s ice cream. He told her he couldn’t, he was teaching him about tax.
What is the hardest shape to get out of? The trap-azoid.
How do you stay warm in a freezing cold room? Stand in the corner, it’s always 90 degrees.
A guy says to his friend: “It’s a shame parallel lines will never meet.” “Why?” says his friend. “They have so much in common.”
What did the mermaid wear to math class? An algae-bra.
What do you call it when James Bond takes a bath? Bubble 07.
Three statisticians go out hunting together and come across a solitary rabbit. The first statistician takes aim and overshoots, the second undershoots. The third then shouts out: “We’ve got him!”
How many mathematicians does it take to change a lightbulb? None, the lightbulb doesn’t need to be changed as the lightbulb has already been changed.
(Mathematicians try to reduce unsolved problems to problems that have already been solved, so the lightbulb does not need to be changed as the mathematicians would know there is already a solution out there in which the lightbulb has already been changed, as such the answer is none, because it doesn’t need to be changed.)
The difference between a numerator and a denominator is a short line. Only a fraction of people will understand this.
A guy says to his friend, “Not to brag, but I made six figures last year. I was also named the worst employee at the toy factory. But who’s keeping count.”
Why is the obtuse triangle always depressed? Because it’s never right.
The airport security asks a statistician if he has anything to declare at the airport security check. He tells them he has a bomb, then he gives his reasoning for carrying it. He tells them that there is a 1 in 1000 chance of there being a bomb on his plane but the joint probability that there are two bombs on a plane is 1 in 1 million. He then tells them that thus by bringing this bomb onto the plane he is making the journey safer for everyone.
A talking sheepdog rounds up all the sheep and says, “Okay, Mr Farmer boss, that’s all 40 sheep rounded up.” “Are you sure,” replies the farmer, “I only count 39?” The sheepdog replies, “I know, that’s why I said rounded up.”
Why is statistics never anyone’s favourite subject? It’s just average.
A team of engineers were required to measure the height of a flag pole. They only had a measuring tape, and were getting quite frustrated trying to keep the tape along the pole. It kept falling down. A mathematician comes along, finds out their problem, and proceeds to remove the pole from the ground and measure it easily. When he leaves, one engineer says to the other: “Just like a mathematician! We need to know the height, and he gives us the length!”
A mathematician organizes a lottery in which the prize is an infinite amount of money. When the winning ticket is drawn, and the jubilant winner comes to claim his prize, the mathematician explains the mode of payment: “1 dollar now, 1/2 dollar next week, 1/3 dollar the week after that…”
Why should you never get into a conversation with Pi? It will just keep going on forever and ever.
Why do atheists have trouble with exponents? They don’t believe in higher powers.
Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.
Who’s the king of the pencil case? The ruler.
Why are maths books always so unhappy? They have endless problems.
Why is algebra so much easier when using Roman numerals? X is always 10.
A guy says to his friend, “I will never date a girl who doesn’t understand algebra jokes.” “I agree,” his friend says, “that’s why my x is no longer in the equation.”
That’s all from me, thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this, you may also enjoy the following:
30 Hilarious Scientific Jokes That Will Test Your Intelligence to the Limits
17 Hilarious Jokes That Will Test Your English Language Skills To The Limits
26 Killer Comebacks to Nasty Remarks
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