Sex, toxicity, and love
3 Things to Know About Your Twin Flame Relationship
The moment you fuck your twin flame, you’re fucked
1. Don’t Sleep With Them Too Soon
Don’t have sex with your twin flame? Ha! Who am I kidding? Not sleeping with your twin flame is the hardest thing ever. If you have a twin flame, you’ve probably already fucked them because they’re so damn magical and sexy.
If you haven’t slept with your twin flame, well, how? You must be a really old soul to be able to recognize that twin flame relationships aren’t about sex.
Yes. Twin flames aren’t about sex in the beginning stages.
Many of us fuck our twin flames way too soon and we ruin everything. We sleep with them because we can’t resist the fire burning so fiercely within us. It’s exhilarating and such intensity can’t be contained.
The more you get to know your twin flame, the harder you will love them and when you add sex, the attraction and intensity become even stronger.
But the moment you fuck your twin flame without healing yourself first, you start to act like a crazy person. You get addicted to them and the moment you get addicted is the moment it all starts going downhill.
No one wants to do messy healing work when there’s bomb sex to be had.
No one.
Every twin flame problem begins after sex because once you have sex, you want more of the sex — I mean them — every day. When you’re busy having sex with your twin flame, you’re not focused on the healing work.
This isn’t to say that you should never have sex with your twin flame. You should totally! I believe sex should be the reward, but you lose sight of what’s important when you’re just focused on the mind-blowing sex.
A true twin flame will turn down sex so you can focus on the healing process. They will want to keep their end of the bargain. Subconsciously, they know the work they signed up to do.
A false twin flame will keep fucking you without caring how you’re hurt and broken. That’s how to tell a fake twin flame from a real one.
If a twin flame walks away despite the great sex and leaves you to heal your heart, they have good intentions. They care, but you won’t see it that way.
You’ll be hurt. You’ll be broken. You’ll feel as if your twin flame has taken a part of you with them. You’ll feel empty as if you won’t make it without them.
The only reason you'll feel as if you can’t make it without your twin flame is that you have things within you that need to be healed.
If you don't heal, you'll chase after them and they'll run and that’ll be the beginning of the famous runner-chaser toxic relationship.
The moment you fuck your twin flame, you are fucked!
2. They’re Not Supposed to Be Toxic
When you fall in love with your twin flame, you will fall very hard. You'll come crashing down. You will love them harder than you have ever loved anyone.
You may try to resist the attraction, but you’ll eventually give in and accept the fact that you’re madly in love.
You’ll feel as if no one on the surface of this earth will make you feel the way they make you feel and at that moment, it becomes toxic, especially if they don’t feel the same way about you (yet.)
Twin flames themselves aren’t toxic.
Twin flames relationships have been established by universal forces for purposes of soul healing and evolution. Humans make it toxic when we become attached, needy and clingy.
It becomes toxic when one person becomes so consumed by the other person that they decide to chase.
I don’t know about you, but when I see someone chasing me like they’re crazy, my first inclination is to get far away from this person.
It’s not natural.
A twin flame relationship only becomes toxic after the sex (ahem) because now all you want is more of them when you’re supposed to seeking more of yourself.
It becomes toxic when they’re all you can think about and you’re not doing the work you should be doing.
Tension and pressure rise when you force someone to love you. When that happens, it’s common for the runner to emotionally and physically withdraw.
The intensity with which you need your twin flame is how much you need to heal and love yourself. If you feel as if you can’t live your life without your twin flame, then that’s what your soul wants to heal from.
Whether a twin flame relationship survives depends on how mature your soul really is. Two old, mature souls will have an easier time navigating a twin flame relationship compared to two young, immature souls.
3. They’re Not Here to Love You
Imagine hiring a plumber to come into your new home to do some work for you. You spoke on the phone with this plumber to set the appointment and you felt a strong connection with them. They felt familiar. They arrive and you feel you’ve known them before.
You can’t hide the fact that you’re so attracted to your plumber. You want them so desperately and you make it known.
They may feel flattered and even want you too, but a professional plumber will want to focus on fixing your leaky pipes. Only after fixing the faulty pipes will they want to have a drink with you and talk about feelings.
Your twin flame is the plumber, and they aren’t here to love you right now. They’re here to help you fix the leaky faucet. They’re here to teach you something.
They’re here to get you to heal your past so you can love your own damn self!
It’s only when you love yourself that you can love your twin flame properly without suffocating them.
But when this magical person enters into our lives and we feel like we’ve known them before, we immediately feel an intense attraction for them and we want them now.
We want to love and be loved by them.
We get excited because, on a subconscious level, we know this person plays a crucial role in our life, but most often, that role isn’t to love you. At least not in the initial stages.
They're here to help you see your shadow.
While our twin flames mirror our positive sides, they also mirror our shadow selves.
For example, I’m an emotionally explosive person, so my twin flame is emotionally repressed. I show my emotions and he’d rather die.
If you’re a person with a massive ego, your massive ego will pose a problem for your twin flame. If you’re talkative, your twin flame will want to be left alone most of the time.
Our twin flames challenge us, making us feel insecure within ourselves. This can be devastating and very painful, but it reveals hidden wounds so we can take a look at them and heal them.
A true twin flame will ignore the attraction and focus on the work they came to do. The work they came to do is to help you heal something you deemed so important that you assigned another person to come into your life and show you all those aspects of yourself so you can heal them.
Your plumber isn’t supposed to have a drink with you the moment they enter your home. They have work to do. The same way you aren’t supposed to fuck, chase or try to love your twin flame the moment they come into your life. They may decide to hang around a bit after completing the work they came to do.
Understanding this will let the process go by much smoothly.
If you recognize someone as your twin flame, chances are you are spiritual. Also, if you recognize someone as your twin flame first and your twin is running, chances are you're the one with things to heal.
If you’re spiritual, then you know the concept of twin flames. The reunion will never happen unless you’re whole. It’ll never happen as long as you’ve placed them on a pedestal. It won’t happen if you're chasing them.
Final Thoughts
While twin flames help us heal so we can experience true love, not all of us need another person to help us heal. If that’s the case, the concept of twin flame will not resonate and that’s okay.
But if your twin flame has entered your life and you recognize them as such, then you know it without a doubt.
They’re real and they’re here.
The moment you realize someone is your twin flame, the best thing you can do for your sanity is to not get attached or you will be burned by the heat. Don't have sex with your twin flame too soon because sex complicates things.
Instead, take it slow and let the process unfold naturally.
And, no matter what you do, never ever take on the role of the chaser. Sure, the chaser may be more spiritual and emotionally mature, trying to fix everything, but chasing is never a good look. It makes you look desperate.
Chase them and they’ll run far away from you, never to work with you again.
Instead, put all the attention on yourself.
You can’t fix what hurts when you’re so infatuated with another person that you can’t even think straight. You can’t heal when another human being is all you can think about.
Heal your heart so you can remember who you are.
Remember who you are, and your twin flame will remember it too.
Accept that you’re madly in love with this person, and understand that the only way you’ll get them is to let them go and put the focus and energy on yourself.
Focus on healing yourself and they'll be subconsciously drawn to you.
As both of you heal and make your feelings known, you’ll come together again and your romance will feel like a fairy-tale.
Still have questions?
If after reading this article you still need help or feel confused, book a coaching session.