3 Things I Will Refuse to Do
…even if everything around me falls apart.
I am exhausted and I am sure the average American mom feels that way too. I am an average American mom, trying to make it one day at a time. The world around me has changed. Rather, it got shaken up so strongly that all the curtains fell down. I see it more clearly than ever before. And it’s a cruel, masculine word.
I’ve always been on the run. I don’t seem to see the finish line. So, I am taking off the sneakers and sitting on the curb. I’ll be appreciating the view while taking a few deep breaths. I’m not sure yet what I will do. I am fairly sure of the 3 things I will refuse to do.
1) I will not care about politics
I grew up in a dictatorship. Moving to America was truly a dream. No fear of violence or losing my freedom. Until I learned that nothing would ever change to stop school shootings. Because politicians are ineffective. I also learned that freedom is just a concept for Americans. They don’t fear losing it, so they don’t fight for it. I am tired of trying to talk sense into them. I am quitting politics altogether. Politics are just like an annoying sports modality in America anyway. It’s pointless, borderline stupid. If I lose my freedom here, I’ll just go be an immigrant again, somewhere else. I did it before and I can do it again. But it’s not easy, so I’m sure every American I hear saying they would “just move to Canada” will not actually go anywhere. I’ll be watching Americans complain on TV.
2) I will not take a job
I’ve been barely making it, working from home, homeschooling my kids, and saving nothing. I will keep it that way for as long as I can while I build my writing business and hope for the best. The jobs I interviewed for are ridiculous. They either pay too little, demand too much of me, or both. I will not take something that will drag me to the bottom even further. I will reject the idea of being productive so someone else can succeed. As greatly written in the piece below.
3) I will not nurture my relationship
My marriage can suck it, for all I care. It drains all the little energy I have left at the end of the day when he comes into the house with his own burdens and complaints. I’ve managed to stay sane and keep the kids healthy all day. I don’t want to deal with his privileged dude problems. Especially after he said my gaining twenty pounds was going to be the end. Ok, the end it is. When do you leave?
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