Relationships

3 Solid Loving Tips To Become a Loving LGBTQ Ally

How You Can Be Your Loved One’s Supporter, Even When Your Beliefs are Different

Learning to be a powerful, loving ally can be scary if you aren’t already there. Fortunately, it doesn’t have to stay that way.

Learning how to be a loving ally that can support someone you love is what you really want, isn’t it? Even if today it sounds like something that goes entirely against what you’ve always believed? When that loved one matter enough to work through the tough stuff, nothing can stop you from getting there.

So here are three tips to help you become a powerful, loving ally to your person without giving up on who you are.

3 Solid, Powerful Tips to Becoming a Loving LGBTQ Ally

Powerful Ally Tip #1 Remember This is Someone You Love and Always Have Loved.

When you are first becoming familiar with the idea that one of your loved ones is LGBTQ, it can be very easy for every emotion you’ve ever had to rear its screaming head all at once. Especially all the ugly ones.

Powerful Ally Tip #2 Your LGBTQ Loved One is More Afraid Than You Are

I know you’re scared. The revelation that somebody you love is part of a world you don’t understand and one you don’t think behaves as the Book says they should be a powerfully scary thought.

The problem is, often when we are scared and don’t understand things, our words and our tone- our whole presence- can come off as angry, hateful, distancing, and other really ugly adjectives. And it usually isn’t at all what we want to do. It’s human nature.

The first step is finding a way to break the cycle of run-away emotion while you are talking to your person. Notice, I am not suggesting you ignore or deny your feelings. They’re your feelings, and you have every right to feel them. I’m just asking that the expression of those feelings take place elsewhere. At least for now. Try to always keep in mind that this person you love is terrified of your rejection, ESPECIALLY, if you are their parent.

Powerful Ally Tip #3 When Love is The BASIS of Your Belief System, ANYTHING is Possible

I am no scholar of world religions. I was raised with a Christian worldview, mostly. But a very disappointed Christian worldview. As an adult, I reconnected with God in a deep, sincere way. My worldview doesn’t always align with the words, behaviors, or actions of others who seek to follow the same God belief, but I do know I align with love, mercy, and forgiveness and treating others as I would like to be treated.

Most religious and spiritual beliefs I have learned about are based on these principles- especially the love of others part. The one thing I know for sure is this- no matter what your beliefs are, when love is the basis, then anything is possible. Even for me. Even for you.

EXTRA BONUS ALLY TIP!

One of the most confusing parts of learning more about the LGBTQ world is understanding the words and acronyms. If we want to create loving, powerful dynamics in our conversations about things that matter this much, learning some of the language is a good place to start.

I wrote a bit about this and other ally tips here and here and even here.

My journey as an ally began with my love for my grandson. That story starts here: