Sexuality/Relationships
3 Phrases That Can Make Sex Better
And get you back on track.
There are oodles of ways we can sabotage our own sex lives when our train of thought goes off the rails. It’s so easy to give in to distraction. It’s not hard to lose the desire for sex because of the things we think about.
Here, I offer you 3 phrases that you can repeat in your head to enhance your train of thought and get yourself back on track sexually.
1. It Doesn’t Matter.
Look, we’ve all been there. Whether it’s worrying about how our fat jiggles, if our scars show, or if our lover feels our bumpy, unshaven body parts — feeling insecure is one of the main reasons our sex drive dwindles.
When you’re having sex with your partner and you feel your mind start to wander towards thoughts about a negative body image or thoughts that sour your sex drive — you need to tell yourself — it doesn’t matter.
Your lover isn’t thinking about any of those things — I guarantee it.
The jiggle spots on your belly — it doesn’t matter. Your unshaved body parts — it doesn’t matter. The cellulite on your derriere — it doesn’t matter. Your stress about the day — it doesn’t matter. Anything else you’ve decided to worry about — it doesn’t matter.
Just stop it. It doesn’t matter. If you’re having sex with someone who desires you and hasn’t mentioned any of the above things — you’re probably good to go. Savor it.
2. This moment is deserved.
Having sex with someone who wants to have sex with you and you’re too busy thinking about the time, where you might need to be, or the fact that you have a bunch of stuff to do?
You need to tell yourself — this moment is deserved.
This moment IS deserved. Why wouldn’t it be? Sexual healing is a real thing and — if done right — can relieve more irritation than worrying about whatever it is you’re worried about.
Engaging in pleasurable sex with a partner is good for the body, mind, and soul.
There’s nothing wrong with taking some time to touch another human being and allowing the senses to take over. However, if you’re constantly distracted and wondering if there’s something else you should be doing, you can’t fully let yourself go.
You need to tell yourself that this moment is deserved. Not only that — it’s needed.
3. Pleasure matters
The healing power of orgasms is well documented. They can cure headaches, body aches, and relieve a huge amount of tension.
If you’re having trouble finding your zen during sex, you need to remind yourself that pleasure matters. Feeling someone touch you and being able to reach a sexual climax is vital to a healthy sense of human sexuality.
Pleasure matters. Your pleasure matters. Your partner’s pleasure matters.
Getting mentally off track during sex is extremely common and many of us suffer from this. There are so many distractions — especially with our phones and technology.
Slow down and let yourself experience some sexual pleasure.
More important than reading another email or checking another text, is feeling human touch and enjoying the physical sensation.
So turn off your phone and allow yourself to believe that whatever you’re worried about doesn’t matter right now, that this moment is deserved, and that pleasure matters.
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