3 Medium Hacks Answered In 3 Minutes-Start Making $$$ Now

Part Satire, Part Truth

As much as I love exploiting your precious reading time for my financial gain, my productivity levels have taken a massive nose-dive after I started taking 5 naps a day in an attempt to be more like Cristiano Ronaldo. (Apparently the strategy perquisites exclusively to professional athletes with a flexible work-life balance).

This means that I no longer have time to write another 15-minute article on a Medium Self-Improvement concept you probably already know about — I’ll have to summarise it in 180 seconds instead.

So, instead of rattling meaningless jabbawocky and hocus-pocus before I get to the topic of discussion, I am going to be clear, concise, use brevity to my advantage and get straight to the point.

Here’s my guide on cracking the 3 most desirable Medium achievements.

How to Increase Your Monthly Earnings

1. Exploit Friends and Family — Force your family members and friends to read all your articles very slowly — the reading time matters, not their opinion. If you have access to their phones, purchase a yearly Medium subscription using your own referral link from their devices.
2. Write about Your Earnings — Many individuals, myself included, have a child-like admiration for earnings charts and graphs as the article thumbnail — I will click on anything with a shiny colour scheme. I’m also very petty, I will laugh at those earning lesser than me, criticize those earning the same as me and block those earning much more than me. I imagine most of you are the same — that’s why writing about how much you make will eventually increase how much you make.

How to Get To a 100 Followers

1. Write Consistently, but not always — If quality is something you care about, you don’t have to post every day. If not, follow my guide on how to write 600 new articles every single day.
2. Engage — Reply to your comments (even the bots, but don’t click on their links and send them your ATM Pin). Phrases like ‘You’re not like other writers’, ‘I want us to exclusively read each other’s articles’ and ‘How are you still single?’ make for good first impressions.
3. Follow for Follow — Quantity beats quality with this technique. After I spent my first week on medium following 23,000 other writers, I managed to reach to the 100 followers mark rather easily. But make sure to quickly unfollow them all afterwards, you have a follower to following ratio to maintain.

How to Write the Perfect Clickbait Titles

1. The Straightforward Clickbait — These are your average, “How I increased my monthly earnings”, “5 Writing Tips to Success” or “3 Crucial Medium Questions Explained in 3 Minutes” titles. Chances are, people have read a dozen articles that sound just like them, but the optimist in them slams that right-click button in hopes of learning something new — take advantage of these hopeful fools.
2. Mmm Me See Big Number Clickbait — Don’t just say ‘make money’, say ‘make millions’. And don’t just say ‘How I made a Million Dollars’, say ‘How I made $137.5 million from my unconventional side hustle overnight”. Nothing attracts the masses like a big juicy $ sign — And the more specific the number, the more likely they are to believe it’s actually true.
3. Now that’s just clickbait clickbait — Even the most naive of readers can see through the crystal clear bullshit of these titles, but even the most experienced can’t resist the temptation to take a quick peak. I personally am a little sceptical of this method, so why not prove me wrong by clicking on the links supporting this theory down below?

Implement these and become rich, you are welcome. You can thank me by joining Medium using my referral link (Those who ignore may be frowned upon).