Summary

An individual claims to earn $3 million a week through unconventional and potentially illegal side hustles, including embezzlement and pump and dump crypto schemes, while also running a podcast and YouTube channel to share their financial strategies.

Abstract

The author of the article, who identifies as a wealthy individual, criticizes the prevalence of clickbait in personal finance articles and positions themselves as an expert on side hustles. They detail two primary income streams: embezzlement from their place of employment, where they manipulate company accounts to pocket excess funds, and a pump and dump scheme in the cryptocurrency market, where they influence the price of digital assets for profit. The author also mentions a podcast called 'The Grind Don't Stop' and a YouTube channel aimed at promoting their financial tactics, boasting a rapid increase in followers and subscribers, which they attribute to inside connections. The article concludes with an invitation to join the author's new platform, 'Hustle, Royalties and Sub-Let', which suggests an expansion into real estate.

Opinions

The author expresses disdain for clickbait content in the personal finance genre, implying a sense of superiority in their approach to side hustles.
They believe that traditional 9–5 jobs and conventional part-time work are insufficient to support a lavish lifestyle, hence the need for more lucrative side hustles.
The author views embezzlement as a simple and effective financial strategy, despite its taboo nature and potential legal consequences.
They show a level of skepticism towards societal norms regarding work-life balance, rejecting the idea that not monetizing every moment is normal.
The author criticizes the hypocrisy in the financial industry, comparing their pump and dump crypto activities to the Federal Reserve's quantitative easing, suggesting a double standard in financial market manipulation.
They claim to have insider connections that have facilitated their rapid success on YouTube, implying that personal networks can significantly influence one's financial success.
The author presents themselves as a successful financial influencer, offering advice and opportunities to others looking to replicate their financial success through unconventional means.

How I Make $3 Million a Week Through These Side Hustles

Do not read this if you want to stay poor

As a very wealthy individual who is probably richer than you— I have become sick to death with the excessive amounts of clickbait prevalent among personal finance articles on Medium.

I also run a daily podcast called — ‘The Grind Don’t Stop’, where I debunk psuedological myths about hustle culture such as ‘working too much causes burn-out’ or ‘Not monetizing every second of your day is normal’… it’s not.

This makes me the perfect choice to educate others on side hustles, not to mention the main reason you clicked on this article — $3 million a week through my side hustles.

So, I strongly advise you to continue reading if you want to make money like me. (I also know people in very high places, so if you do not continue reading I wouldn’t be surprised if your annual medium subscription mysteriously turned into a 1-week trial package at Simily).

Side Hustle #1 — Embezzlement

When the 9–5 pay-check wasn’t sustaining my lavish and debt-inducing lifestyle, I quickly realized that I needed a second revenue stream. After working a few part-time jobs and giving Bet 365 a shot, I sought financial advice from law-abiding professionals.

My personal lawyer and money manager introduced me to the world of embezzlement — which is unfortunately somewhat of a taboo in the financial industry. But, the process is simple and effective. Just like you’d adjust the trunk of your car by taking out some luggage and stuffing it on your least favourite child’s lap, embezzling involves adjusting an individual or company’s money, with you keeping all that is left — a 100% commission of sorts.

I was a little sceptical at first, but my manager told me that he’d successfully embezzled millions from his own clients without ever getting caught, so I gave him the benefit of the doubt.

The company I work for generates up to $100 million in profits every month, and luckily I handle all the accounts. After a little bit of this and a little bit of miscellaneous charges added to the balance sheet, I now make $1 million and $1,250 a week — a 19,970% salary increase.

Side Hustle #2 — Pump and Dump Crypto Trader

You’d think an industry that is the poster child of ‘volatility’ would be susceptible to traders who bring just that — but my pump and dump community has had to build its business from the ground up.

We’re simply a gathering of individuals with one main purpose — Mutually deciding to manouvre the price of a particular digital commodity in hopes of making a monetary gain at the expense of each and every other trader in the market.

But the hypocrisy bias from retail investors, the government and every law-abiding citizen is unbelievable — when the Federal Reserve does the same thing it’s called ‘quantitative easing’, when I do it it’s called ‘market manipulation’.

Nonetheless, I’ve still managed to beat the system.

How did I do this?

In December 2021, while the world was busy eating turkey and pushing Mariah Carey on the Billboard Top 50 yet again, I was in my bedroom hustling. I started a YouTube channel to attract a mass following of interested investors, with hopes of quickly generating an organic reach. Luckily, I knew a guy in YouTube — so after releasing my first video I gained 73 million hours of watch time in a week.

Receiving 300 million subscribers was a very humbling experience, and luckily the 7 million of those who were not bots joined me on my mission — looking for the right token to leech off of. We stayed away from fundamentally strong coins like Shiba Inu; irregular movements in such assets would alert the authorities. We also avoided targeting NFT-drops, because despite being a corporate embezzler and a pump and dump activist, I have to draw the line somewhere.

After finding a coin that had enough zeroes in its token price to make it affordable among our largely unemployed demographic, we hustled it to the moon. (We try using the term ‘hustle’ wherever we can after YouTube banned the channel for attempted market hustling).

This little side hustle made me a little over $1 million on January 3rd, and my average weekly profits for February have already touched $2.4 million after a mere $46 investment (Which I embezzled out of our intern’s monthly stipend).

There you have it. By tapping into markets that the other so-called finance experts didn’t have the expertise to dive right into, I have managed to make myself and 7 million others — weekly millionaires. Do you want to be rich like me? Join my spin-off YouTube platform, ‘Hustle, Royalties and Sub-Let’ — We’re diversifying into real estate as well!