3 Fun and Intimate Quizzes That Can Strengthen Your Relationship

Embrace vulnerability and grow closer to your significant other.

Our relationship became stagnant after a month locked away at home. Being trapped in a tiny apartment put my partner and I in routine mode.

At the start of the year, we acted like robots, following the same pattern over and over: wake up, work remotely in our pajamas (thank god we had work), eat ice cream, and binge-watch Netflix until it was time to sleep and do everything again.

The weekends were torture. At one point, we had nothing to talk about. We would dine with our phones out, the news — anything to avoid confessing the truth: We were bored.

One day, I ran into a friend while grocery shopping — a newly single friend. COVID-19 had helped her see her partner wasn’t right for her. They had grown bored.

Spooked, I researched ways to spice things up in my relationship and came across three relationship quizzes to get to know each other better.

When suggesting the first one to my partner, I felt awkward.

Thankfully, he agreed with a shrug. A shrug that soon became an arched back and an open smile. For the first time in months, we were totally engrossed in each other. It felt as though we were newly dating.

The second and third quizzes had a similar effect. Since then, we have made it a practice to ask each other thoughtful questions whenever we sit down to talk.

Hopefully, these three quizzes can help you strengthen your relationship as well.

1. The 36 Questions: Embrace Vulnerability To Grow Your Love.

In 1997, Arthur Aron tested whether intimacy between two people — strangers or those already in a relationship — can be increased through a specific series of personal questions. Their study concluded that, compared to small talk, the 36 questions benefit closeness because the participants embrace vulnerability.

This quiz is divided into three sets, each more probing than the previous one. To do it, my partner and I blocked an hour during the weekend, put away every distraction (no phones, please), and took turns answering every question.

Here are my favorites of the 36 questions:

First set

1. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?
2. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?
3. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

Second set

1. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future, or anything else, what would you want to know?
2. What is your most treasured memory?
3. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?

Third set

1. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.
2. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.
3. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?
4. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?

Bonus idea: You can make it more exciting by trying to guess your significant other’s answers first.

2. The Gottman Quiz: How Strong Is Your Relationship?

John and Julie Gottman, researchers and psychologists, created the Gottman institute to “help create and maintain greater love and health in relationships.”

To that end, they developed the Gottman Quiz, which measures a love relationship’s strength. With 22 statements, it evaluates a couple’s understanding and communication with each other. According to John and Julie, these are the two pillars of a lasting relationship.

To do it, you and your partner must answer yes or no to a specific statement. However, to ensure you’re on the same page, discuss the statement with your partner.

For example, the statement: “I can name my partner’s best friends.” Before clicking yes on the Institute’s website, I told my partner who I believed his best friends are. After he confirmed my knowledge, I moved on to the next statement.

Here you can access the Gottman test: gottman.com. Though it’s an activity for couples to do together, each one of you must complete a separate test on your computers or phones.

Bonus idea: This test is an eye-opener. It can shine a light on the areas that need work in a relationship. Just make sure you do it with an open mind and heart.

3. The Proust Questionnaire: Deepen Your Knowledge of Each Other.

Though Marcel Proust, the famous French essayist, and novelist, didn’t devise this questionnaire, he popularized it when he was nineteen years old.

Proust believed that, by answering these questions, an individual reveals their true nature — perfect for deepening your knowledge of your partner.

To do this, my partner and I replicated the process of the 36 Questions. We discussed each question with wine and chocolate, delighting in the new things we learned about each other.

Here are my favorite questions from the basic questionnaire:

1. What is your idea of perfect happiness?
2. On what occasion do you lie?
3. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
4. If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be?
5. What is your greatest regret?

Bonus idea: Most questions will lead to follow-up questions. Let it flow. Don’t be too rigid when answering the questionnaire. The idea is to have fun. If you can’t answer all the questions because you got caught up in “other” things (go you!), then better. More for another day.

What Next?

Once we finished the quizzes, my partner and I felt bummed because we didn’t know what to do next. The idea of falling back into a robotic routine chilled our bones.

To avoid that, we researched other resources to keep our question nights active. Here’s a book that helped us (it isn’t an affiliate link): amazon.com

100 Questions for Power Couples is a cheap, simple, and straightforward book that lists — as the title suggests — 100 questions to ask your significant other. My partner and I used it for our date nights.

However, you don’t have to purchase anything. With a quick Google search, you’ll find dozens — if not hundreds — of exciting questions to ask your partner if you enjoy these types of dates.

Embrace Vulnerability and Grow Closer to Your Significant Other

Relationships face many hurdles. At the start, it’s hard to open up to someone or go beyond small talk. Later on, a new problem arises: boredom.

It’s easy to fall into a routine, to forget that lasting relationships require work. Moreover, we often fall prey to the belief that at one point, we already know everything about our significant other.

Still, after countless question-filled date nights, let me tell you one thing: There’s always something more to learn. There’s always a step further in your relationship.

So why not try one of these quizzes? At worst, you’ll realize you don’t like question games. At best, you’ll strengthen your love.