3 Easy Steps To Be Insanely Likeable

You can be charismatic too.

When Leonardo DiCaprio enters a room, everyone looks up and takes notice. He magnetically draws people towards him. He is charismatic.

But you can be too. In fact, it’s much easier than you think.

Charisma is what you do and what you say rather than who you actually are. Simply put, it is all about presenting yourself and your ideas in a ‘symbolic, emotional and value-based manner’ through your presence, warmth and power.

It’s about fine-tuning your communication skills.

But it is all good and well to know that. How can you translate this into tangible ways to be charismatic? Simple. Just read below.

1. Work on your presence and warmth

Presence is all about being truly engaged and giving your complete attention. It’s about not showing off, shutting down your ego and giving your all towards the people you talk to.

Eye contact. If you’ve ever met a charismatic person, you’d know that they have a warm way of making you feel welcome. Good eye contact shows you are invested and you’re listening.

I’ve struggled with eye contact growing up. It used to make me feel uncomfortable looking at the pools of other people’s irises.

So if you feel the same, try this trick. Look at the other person’s nose bridge, right in the middle of their eyes. They’ll think you’re maintaining eye contact and you don’t end up feeling weirded out by their eyes. Win-win.

Careful, though. Too much eye contact and you look like you’re about to kill someone. Too little eye contact and you look uninterested.

As with anything in life, balance is key.

Body language. Actions always speak louder than words. Your body language conveys messages to those around you.

The most basic body language tip I can give you is to not stand stiff. Stiff people are, well… stiff. Have a relaxed but good posture. Roll your shoulders back and raise your chin. Do I sound like your mum yet?

SMILE!

Dazzle people by smiling. Try smiling at strangers for an entire day. See what difference it makes to your energy levels. It supercharges it.

Most of us walk around with a scowl on our faces. Yes, the world is a cruel hard place. But you can change your outlook on life by smiling. Not only would you feel good, but you’ll make someone else smile too.

You’ll also look instantly attractive!

Part and parcel of body language is to use expressive gestures (just make sure not to poke someone with your flying hands!) and nodding whilst listening.

All of these are ways to show you care. If someone cares, they are likeable. It’s that simple.

The key to body language to be self-aware. Make sure to not close off as soon as you get comfortable. Keep yourself open and relaxed.

A final effortless way to be present is to mirror. When you match the physical mannerisms and energy levels of those around you, you instantly become more likeable. People like to be reciprocated.

It’s not only physical mannerisms that you can mirror — try mirroring other people’s qualities and even some of their word choices. Everyone speaks in a particular way. When you mirror them, you show that you are like them.

Charisma is about presence and warmth.

If you work on these, you are already a much more likeable person.

2. Work on your confidence

Confidence and charisma come hand in hand. When you are truly confident, you are instantly likeable.

True confidence gives you power. And power is the third component for charisma.

But your confidence can be worked on too.

Have a growth mindset. Know that you can always be better and know that there’s always room for improvement. Confidence means that you are willing to admit your mistakes, learn from them and better yourself.

You are allowed to be vulnerable. Authentic vulnerability shows that you are human. People like to relate to those around them.

Shine the light on others. When you’re confident in your abilities and what you can offer, you don’t rely on the spotlight.

Give shout outs to those who work hard and place other people before yourself. This selfless act makes you likeable.

People like those who make them feel special.

3. Work on your conversation skills

This is the most basic step. People overlook the power of good conversation skills.

Make others feel comfortable. When you’re talking to someone, know what is an acceptable and appropriate topic to talk about. If you don’t feel comfortable talking about something, chances are the other person isn’t too.

The way you say things matters more than what you say. So be nice.

Treat people like how you’d like to be treated.

Tell stories. People love a good story. It also adds a little more character to you. Whatever story you tell, the other person will get to know you through them.

Use humour too. But if you’re unsure of a joke, it’s best to keep it to yourself.

Ask questions. When you ask questions you encourage the other person to talk more. It means you’re listening. People like to be heard. So ask questions that are appropriate and perceptive.

Remember the details. Want to be more likeable? Remember the small details. It shows people that you care and that you listen. Easy brownie points.

Key Takeaway 🥡

It’s honestly easy to be charismatic. It doesn’t take long and you’ll reap the rewards just as quickly.

The secret to being charismatic is simple. Put the other person in front.

When you’re selfless it shows. It also makes you insanely likeable.

Fatima Sultan is a writer, tutor and self-proclaimed nerd. She writes about life and its many excitements and disappointments. She also apparently likes referring to herself in the third person. You can read more of her writing by subscribing to her free newsletter.