17 Reasons [Some] People Shouldn't Have Kids
Strong Opinions Will Be Found Here
Do you know what sucks? Seeing people have kids who shouldn’t have kids. One thing worse than not dealing with your own personal struggles is making your kids deal with it, too.
Generational Curses = Issues people don’t deal with and instead pass the issues on to their kids.
The only way to break generational curses is for one person to get in enough pain to say, “enough is enough!” The person will have to be mentally aware and enlightened enough to make the uncomfortable changes that need to be made and deal with the issues most human beings choose to push aside.
Things I’m tired of hearing about:
- People having kids they can’t afford
- People molesting their kids
- People murdering their kids
- People not investing enough time into their kids
- People not being involved in their kids' lives
- People not believing in their kids
- People neglecting their kids
- People silencing their kid's feelings, opinions, ideas, desires, and beliefs
- People abusing (mentally, emotionally, and physically) their kids
- People damaging their kids' self-esteem and confidence
- People who make their kids suffer during divorce (e.g., not allowing the kids to see both parents — if it’s healthy to do so) because of immaturity, pettiness, and stupidity
Most People Are Damaged/Have Baggage
Not many people will want to hear this, but people are damaged; most people have baggage in some form or another. And often, children inherit their parents’ baggage.
Am I saying you shouldn’t have kids? Yes. At least not until you deal with your sh*t to the point it won’t negatively affect your children.
There are plenty of abused and neglected children that come out great, but it sure would be nice if kids didn’t have to go through all of their parent’s bullsh*t in the first place.
One of my grandmothers had 6 kids. She physically, emotionally, and mentally abused, neglected, and essentially tried to destroy them all. Only two are flourishing; it takes a rare breed of person to survive horrendous parenting.
I’m thankful my grandmother brought my mother and close aunt into the world, but at times I wonder and ask myself: Why the heck did she keep having kids? Of course, lack of education, lack of self-control, lack of planning, and lack of selflessness can contribute, but some people are truly not meant and built to be parents.
17 Reasons You Shouldn’t Have Kids
1. Some people are not willing to develop patience for them.
2. Not everyone can afford to raise and invest in a kid.
3. Some people are not mentally, physically, or emotionally healthy enough to raise a kid of their own. Many people have plenty of underlying issues they have yet to face.
4. There are no cons to not having kids if they don’t align with your goals, lifestyle, and grand life plan.
5. You can give more focus and attention to your personal needs and wants.
6. Not having kids allows you to give more attention to your career and dreams if that is your priority.
7. Some people are happier without kids.
8. Having kids does not complete every person’s life.
9. Having kids does not add happiness to every person’s life.
10. Many people in the world will have kids; there is no shortage of kids.
11. Having kids will change your life for better or worse — depending on how you handle the responsibility.
12. Your only job in this world is to do what makes you happy (that doesn’t negatively impact others); having kids does not have to be one of these things.
13. Procreation and building a legacy aren’t mandatory.
14. Life without kids can often be better for a lot of people.
15. You are entitled to making your own decisions about whether to have kids or not. You don’t have to give your parents grandkids.
16. Not having kids equals more freedom for many people.
17. If you haven’t genuinely questioned your desire to have kids, do so before having them. We often adopt what everyone else does without thinking twice about it.
Before You Have Kids, Remember These Things
- You’re signing up for a lifetime of responsibility; you can’t quit on your kid.
- It takes massive resources to raise a kid and invest in their lives.
- Parenting doesn’t stop after age 18.
- It’s not just about you when you have a kid, and many parents act like it is. Your kid’s voice matters. Your kid's opinions matter. Your kid's desires matter. If you shun and silence your kids’ feelings and voices, you’re only hurting them.
- You will give up a big part of your life for parenting; so, be okay with giving, loving, forgiving, and accepting your offspring unconditionally.
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Destiny S. Harris is a writer, poet, entrepreneur, teacher, and techie who offers free books daily on amazon. Destiny obtained three degrees in political science, psychology, and women’s studies. Follow her on Instagram, Facebook, or @ destinyh.com
