13 Ways to Avoid Writing

Summary

This is a satirical article listing 13 ways to procrastinate from writing.

Abstract

This article offers a humorous take on procrastination techniques, particularly for individuals with ADHD, under the guise of a guide on how to avoid writing. The methods suggested are not typical, but instead include activities like responding to a question on Quora, sending birthday cards, and checking gas cap on a car. The article also mentions that procrastination can cause people to put off their work until tomorrow. The author also expresses her belief that procrastination might be keeping her from writing a chapter for her book, "Finding My Hero: An Adoption Memoir from World War 2".

Opinions

Procrastination is common and can be a lifestlye of choice, especially for people with ADHD.
Playing games of solitaire and scrubbing the bathroom wastebasket are viable procrastination options.
Writing the article might be a way to procrastinate from writing a chapter in the author's upcoming book.

How to Procrastinate

Licensed with permission from 123rf, copyright bimdeedee

Have you ever met someone who doesn’t procrastinate once in awhile? Neither have I. But for folks with ADHD, procrastination is the life-style of choice.

ADHD | Procrastination | To Do Lists | Satire | Humor

Tips to Help You Procrastinate

Respond to some mom on Quora because you think her question is stupid and her behavior borders on child abuse.

Write a Facebook post about the mom and her abusive behavior to see how many people agree with you. If you’re lucky, ten people will like, love, or laugh at it. Four readers will write comments agreeing with you.

Email an op-ed from the Washington Post to a few folks whom you think might find it interesting.

Add a long, rambling rant below the link to the op-ed. As if the article itself wasn’t enough, and the recipients didn’t already know your opinion.

Play a game of solitaire (and win).

Play more games of solitaire (and lose).

Scrub the bathroom wastebasket.

Look to see how many views you had on yesterday’s video instead of doing a new video. Interrupt whatever you’re doing to check the number of views several times throughout the day.

Send a Jacquie Lawson online birthday card. While at it, send a card to a friend whose b’day is the end of next month.

Send cards to several other friends and family. Looking at and choosing cards while listening to the accompanying music is so much fun.

Check the gas cap on your car to make sure it’s screwed on tight. A loose gas cap might cause the engine light to come on. You’re relieved that all is well with the gas cap. The engine light is still on.

Write “call mechanic” on your already overly-long to-do list instead of calling the mechanic at the moment.

Rewrite your to-do list.

I compiled these tips as if other people cared. That they don’t have their own unfocused ADHD behavior of which they don’t need me to remind them. (By the way, I read recently that it’s no longer a sin to end a sentence with “of.” But I just couldn’t bring myself to do it.)

Now that you know how to procrastinate, you can put off work until tomorrow.

P.S. Perhaps writing this story is just procrastination keeping me from writing the next chapter of Finding My Hero: An Adoption Memoir from World War 2.

Edited for Medium. First published at OverwhelmToAction.com, 10/14/18

Because I’m an adoption coach for women, my writing, as one might assume, focuses on adoption. In addition, I offer words of wisdom for adult ADHDers. (Not only do I suffer from ADHD, but so do many adopted folks.)

No surprise that focus does not come to me easily! In addition to adoption and ADHD, I also write random stories from my life, what I’ve observed, and what’s in the news.

Watch for my eBook: “The Laundromat Dog.” Coming soon.

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