COVID-19 | LOCKDOWN | SHELTER-IN-PLACE | CORONA VIRUS |HOME OFFICE

The Good, The Bad, The Not So Ugly Sheltering in My Home Office

Thanks to a suggestion from my friend Tim Maudlin, I’m responding to his questions about how one is responding to the lockdown and creating an acronym that represents it.

1. What have I missed most during this lockdown? I’d planned an extended trip mid-June from Denver to Troy, New Hampshire with excursions up to Keene, NH and down to West Orange and Hope, New Jersey. I’d hug my family in NH, including four remarkable and amazing grandchildren.

I’d attend the youngest granddaughter’s high school graduation. Wander about the Inn at East Hill Farm owned by my son’s partner’s family: say “hi” to old friends, peruse the Inn’s gift shop, and check out the goats, pigs, horses, and chickens on the farm.

During the day, we’d discuss important topics like the youngest grandkid’s aversion to school, chat about the trivial, tell stories, and laugh a lot while drinking coffee at the kitchen table. I’d look out the window at Perkins Pond and beyond the lake to Mt. Monadnock, my favorite author’s favorite mountain. (That would be Willa Cather’s mountain.) More discussing, chatting, stories, and laughing in the evening but now with a glass of wine.

Then hop on the train in Brattleboro, VT bound for Penn Station, Newark. Six hours later, I’d sit at a dear friend’s dining room table in West Orange catching up, drinking more coffee, and trading antique postcards. We’d sort them into our respective albums: e.g. Christmas, New Year’s, Colorado cards (for me), Newark cards (for her). Finally, we’d take a break to dash into NYC to the Metropolitan Postcard’s monthly meeting to buy more cards. We’ve shared this unusual hobby for many years.

While still in New Jersey, I’d drive out to the little village of Hope close to the Delaware River on the Pennsylvania border. I’d see my good friends from St. Luke’s Episcopal Church. I’d hang out in the Parish House after church for coffee hour, eat too many sweets, listen to all the news, and get more hugs.

Sigh. Obviously the virus keeps me sheltered in place in Denver with a cancelled reservation: Denver to Manchester, Newark back to Denver. I’m missing my East Coast family and friends. Missing my granddaughter Alison’s graduation. Missing the postcard show which, not surprisingly, has been cancelled. If I’m lucky, I’ll be clapping for Alison’s graduation on Zoom! (Her school still hasn’t decided how they’ll do graduation.)

2. What is the best thing about being in a lockdown? Life has slowed down. Time to focus — for someone with raging ADHD, improved focus is a good thing indeed!

I read on Facebook and in the newspapers about the generous, caring things folks have done for others: Not only the heroes in the hospitals, the first responders, and the other essential workers, but also everyday people who aren’t on the front line. Folks being good neighbors. Folks Feeding America.

3. What has been the worst thing about being in lockdown? Fearing I’m not being careful enough. Fearing I’m not washing my hands as often as I should. Fearing I’m too close to someone at the grocery store. Eric, my husband, is still working and not in a home office. So together we worry that he might become infected from a co-worker.

In the beginning, it was fear I would get the virus and die. I listened with no small amount of panic as some talked about letting those over the age of 65 pass away. Yikes! I’m well over 65!

Luckily I, and everyone I know in my age group, has calmed down and no one has died. That 92,000 people I don’t know have died is the hardest part of the lockdown. What I and my friends have suffered and whined about is meaningless in comparison to the number of deaths!

4. Who would you have liked to host in your home during the lockdown and why? We were planning on a visit from the oldest grandson and his buddy as they stopped in Colorado on their California road trip, having started from Ohio. Hadn’t seen him in several years. I couldn’t wait! Had planned his favorite food. Looked forward to hugs, hearing his laugh, and listening to his dreams and plans. Another trip on hold . . . indefinitely.

5. What have you discovered about yourself in the lockdown? I suppose I discovered that I’m fine alone. But, it’s not really a discovery as I’ve always been fine being alone. After all, I was an only child. I did discover that I don’t miss going out to lunch with friends as much as I thought I might. Of course, I enjoy such and look forward to when we can go again, but I’m not grieving.

Also discovered that if I don’t get my frequent extra-short-hair cut, my hair morphs into being ridiculously out of control. But just because hair salons are open now in Denver, I’m not taking a chance. If it gets too bad, I’ll wear a hat!

6. What did you eat or drink most during the lockdown? Have consumed gallons of black coffee, but that’s hardly a new habit. As far as food, I’ve consumed more microwave popcorn than usual, an inordinate number of clementines, and entirely too much hard candy. (Hmm, maybe popcorn and hard candy aren’t food?)

7. What activities did you undertake the most during the lockdown? Became obsessed with doing laundry and keeping the kitchen tidy. Enrolled in a couple of Zoom classes, including a 4-day, 8-hours-a-day workshop. Looking forward to the second half of that workshop which starts in a couple weeks. That’s a lot of Zooming! I’ve always loved classes and workshops. Education, whether I’m learning or I’m teaching someone else, is my passion. I’m grateful for the opportunity to learn online. (And I’ve saved the expense of going to California to take the classes in person.)

8. Will you come out of the lockdown heavier or lighter? Heavier! I haven’t eaten a lot of junk food or food I don’t normally eat (except for stale candy canes which Eric and I shared.) But I do seem to be eating more of everything. Leftovers meant for tomorrow night’s dinner are often devoured by noon, leaving me to rethink that night’s dinner.

9. What resource has helped you the most during the lockdown? Phone calls from my son and his sweetie every Sunday afternoon, and classical music and reading. Have purchased even more books than usual. Discovered Stingray Classical on TV where one can watch performances from wonderful concert halls and churches in Europe. Ahhh!

10. What is your top tip for other people in lockdown now? Wash your hands, wear your mask, stay 6-feet away from other people, and stop worrying! I bought two cloth masks made by indigenous women in Panajachel, Guatemala, a town on Lake Atitlan we once visited. The masks bring back good memories.

11. How has lockdown changed you? I seem more emotional but not assuming this is a permanent affliction. I get tears in my eyes when I look out my office window and see a mom, dad, toddler, baby in a stroller, and dog walking down my street. Mom, dad, and toddler are wearing masks.

I am inconsolable when I learn that two family members, the only family members we have in Denver, are moving to Rochester, NY to be close to family and grandchildren. It doesn’t matter that we’ve only lived close to these family members for a year!

After a lifetime of not watching TV, I’m now addicted to it. Even as a youngster, I didn’t watch TV. When my friend went in her house to watch “Bonanza,” I’d go back to my house and read a book. Eric was in Colorado for several months when his oldest son was sick while I was still in New Jersey. I never turned on the TV. Not once!

Now I must watch the news every night. Often several hours of news. This is not a positive change! One would think that listening to Dr. Fauci once a day would be enough. But no, I have to listen multiple times in one evening to what he or Dr. Sanjay Gupta have to teach us about the virus.

12. If you were to leave a “message in a bottle” for the future, what would you say? Don’t hoard toilet paper but do be prepared with sanitizing products. They are useful in all kinds of emergencies. Remain optimistic but be ready and not unaware. Frequently remind those whom you love that you love them.

My Acronym: SELF: S for Simplify, E for Educate, L for Laugh, and F for Focus

You can catch me at LivingWithAdoption.com. If you were adopted, you’ll want to grab my free Adoption Checklist for Women: 25 Life Issues. You can also read something else of mine right here on Medium: Losing the Letters of Willa Cather: Exploring Unworthiness.

In the meantime, I’m inviting you to write your story in response to Tim’s question: “How Does One Respond to the Lockdown?” and create an acronym. (By the way, even if your name isn’t on the list, you can still write a story answering Tim’s questions.) Looking forward to everyone’s answers.

Gurpreet Dhariwal, Henery X (long), Ksenia Sein, Livia Dabs, Paul Myers MBA, Kathryn A. LeRoy, Ph.D., Desiree Driesenaar, Marlane Ainsworth, Terry Mansfield, Trista Ainsworth, Salam Khan, Selma, Rasheed Hooda, Indra Raj Pathak, Jessica Cote, JeffHerring.com, Candy L Hill, Alena Powell, Margaret Eves, Joan Kent, PhD, Melody Campbell, Bill Todd, MaryJo Wagner, Vickie Trancho, Sunita Pandit, Nathan White, Larry Nowicki, Nancy H. Vest, Kelda Ytterdal, Peg Duchesne, Yvonne Palmer, Linda Halladay, Trapper Sherwood, Cynthia Charleen Alexander, EricAsbeck.com, Steven Zabronsky, Kathleen N Hoagland, Esther Shelley