BLACK LIVES MATTER| RACISM | EDUCATION | DISCRIMINATION | NEIGHBORLY

For White Folks from An Old Gray-Haired White Woman with Arthritis

Thoughts about What It Means to be Neighborly

My friend Tim Maudlin believes if we were more “neighborly” to one another, this world would be a much better place. He invited me and others to consider One Another with the ACRONYM story NEIGHBOR.

Here is my contribution to that dialogue.

NEIGHBOR Means:

N for NO: Say NO to racism. Say it over and over and over. Say it again. Say NO to racism. Say it until your brain builds new neuropathways. Say it until “NO to racism” is deep in your heart.

Saying NO to racism is what a good neighbor does.

E for Education: We watched a Town Hall this morning brought to us by our friends from Sesame Street. Kids sent in questions. Their parents sent in questions. A teacher sent in a question. The Sesame Street puppets asked questions. Poor Elmo was distressed when his Dad told him people sometimes don’t like the color of other people’s skin. Elmo looked at his own bright purplish/pinkish color. He remembered when Big Bird was criticized because his feathers were too yellow and furry. Elmo felt sad and confused.

I realized once again how belief starts with little kids. What we say and how we act influences what our children will believe and act on.

But what are we doing to educate ourselves? The need for education doesn’t stop because we graduated from high school or college or graduate school.

A good neighbor is a neighbor educated about racism and discrimination.

I for Introspection: What does white privilege mean? The question isn’t “am I privileged?” It’s how am I privileged. If I can’t answer it for myself, I don’t understand it.

In my life, I was hired over a Black woman more qualified than I. My husband reports that Hispanic men in the construction trades where he’s worked got paid less than he did for the same work.

This is not an abstract question. Neither of us have been discriminated against because we are white.

A white neighbor understands she has white privilege and what that means.

G for Golden Rule: “Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.”

A good neighbor practices the Golden Rule. There’s nothing more to say!

H for Help: Vote, Speak up, donate to a food pantry, march, if you can’t march (that’s me) take water and granola bars to the marchers, make signs to give to peaceful protesters, volunteer at a homeless shelter, post about racism and discrimination on your blog and social media, add to this list.

Do something! Say something! Act!

Good neighbors are not silent.

B for Black Lives Matter: “Black Lives Matter” has nothing to do with other lives, especially white lives. It’s a metaphor for lives that have not mattered.

Lives of people whose great-grandparents were slaves.

O for Organize: If you don’t want to organize, join someone else’s organization. Marching is not the only option. Many churches and synagogues have racial justice task forces, discussion groups, outreach and volunteer programs. Many communities, even individual neighborhoods, have organizations and they need you to get involved. JOIN!

If it’s uncomfortable to get involved with homeless people, angry people, hungry people, Black people you don’t know or who aren’t in your social milieu, do it anyway.

Good neighbors act even when it’s not comfortable.

R for Respect: Respect difference. Go some place where you might experience difference. Do you still receive white privilege?

Years ago, I taught at Charles Houston Elementary School, a 99.9 percent Black school in Virginia. I would have drowned had it not been for Mrs. Lightfoot, a Black teacher’s aide. She taught me how to teach these little folks. She taught me how to understand their Southern African-American “accent.”

She showed me how what I had assumed wasn’t true at this school. My experience was based on student teaching with white middle-class kindergartners. I learned from her that Black kids without enough to eat, no books at home, and living in the “projects” needed to start somewhere else than the standard kindergarten curriculum I’d been taught to use.

I took home twice the salary while my teacher’s aide did the heavy lifting. I had white privilege and the college degree that went with it.

Mrs. Lightfoot was a super-good neighbor. I tried to be a good neighbor.

We must be good neighbors now more than ever.

Read about my experience as a white woman teaching in a Black school in Virginia