Dear Diary
10 Ways to Stink Out the Joint and Blame Smillew
Who needs a subtitle when the title is so beautiful?
I just hired Rocky Shores as a writing coach, and I’m super excited about it.
After a year of writing online, it’s time for me to share my deepest thoughts and my most authentic stories. It’s been my plan all along, but I had to wait for my writing and voice to develop.
It was hard, but I managed
If there’s one skill with which I would like to get, it’s patience.
Contrary to what I wrote here, I’ve reached a point where I need external help. The voices in my head aren’t enough anymore. The truth is they never knew anything about editing. But at the beginning, they could pretend because I lacked the confidence and didn’t know anything about it either.
I still don’t know bananas, but I know waiting isn’t enough.
I need feedback
Strong feedback that only an arrogant, opinionated SOB like Rocky can give. I need someone that says, this isn’t good, Smillew; it’s not even bad, it shouldn’t have been written. Stop publishing stories after stories full of nonsense; that’s not what people want. ETC. ETC. That’s the kind of feedback I’m talking about.
But I was too shy to ask for it. The SWC (Smillew Writers Challenge) changed that. After winning (read my acceptance speech here), I had two possibilities.
Invest everything in bitcoins
This paragraph will be a small rant about bitcoin. Feel free to skip it. It’s mostly there to get the piece chosen by the Great God of Distribution. Let me add a link to a reliable source or two. (I didn’t read them).
I could have invested my MWC earnings in bitcoins and waited for organized crime and con-men with laser eyes from Twitter to make the price go up. I could have gotten filthy rich and contributed to destroying the planet a bit more, thanks to the insane energy consumption of bitcoin mining.
But I didn’t.
Not because I care about humanity and the planet, but because it wouldn’t have been fulfilling for me to get filthy rich so soon. I prefer to wait a few more decades.
That’s why I chose solution two instead.
Investing everything in myself
“There’s no better investment than in people,” said someone on Twitter a few hundreds of thousands of times already.
“And there’s no better investment than in yourself,” added Gandhi and all his followers.
So, that’s what I decided to do. By hiring a writing coach like Rocky, I’m investing in the best asset I have, my writing voice.
Before I forget, I need to deliver on the title to avoid the clickbait badge of shame.
10 Ways to Stink Out the Joint and Blame Smillew
- I don’t know what this title means.
- I rarely understand anything Rocky writes, but I clap and comment because I get discounts on the coaching gig.
- Bananas are tasty. If you don’t like them, stink out the joint and blame Smillew.
- The joint in my shower’s bottom-left corner is getting loose. It’s stinking out, as the plumber said.
- Feel free to skip the five following reasons, as they’re even less related to the title than the previous ones.
- A stinky animal is a skunk covered in dog shit. I used dog shit because Rocky likes dog shit a lot (as a tag).
- Reply to this article with your email address, and I’ll send you my FREE badge, “it’s not me, it’s Smillew.”
- I will also send you tons of emails for the rest of your inbox life. (FREE emails). You can unsubscribe anytime by replying to 157 of my tweets here.
- The #9 way to stink out the joint and blame Smillew is to buy NFTs. (I just clicked on the first youtube link with NTF in the title).
- You tell me the #10 way in the comments. I love some actions in the comments because it’s the only place where I can be my true self.
Recap for memory
I stole the title from a reply by Rocky to a comment I wrote on a “story” by Rocky.
All the links above are affiliate links in the sense that each time someone clicks on them, Rocky gives me a $0.01 discount on my coaching fees.
So click away, my friends, click away.
You can also support me on Ko-fi. I promise I will never spend the money on a coffee. Ever.
Another diary entry from Paul Mansfield
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