10 Mistakes that you must avoid to save your relationship
We usually do make a lot of errors, and sometimes these mistakes ruin our life, so we must avoid these mistakes to create a sounder relationship.
I was thinking to write it for a very long time; now I am doing it.
We all have relationships with different people in life, with our parents with family members, friends and with GOD.
These relationships are important to us in many ways, and we want them to last for entire life.
Life is all about relationships; it’s not only about the spouse and connection, but we have all kinds of relationships even with our mind and body.
It’s complicated to discuss mistakes because we make a lot of errors, and sometimes these errors ruin the beautiful relationship that we’ve with people.
What is the relationship?
Most of us think this in the wrong way, we try to make it a body thing, but it is beyond that.
A relationship is a bond of understanding that two or more people have to stay connected forever, at least some mentions.
Those who break this bond of understanding they suffer their connections.
It’s all about maintaining that bond forever.
As you know, a relationship happens because of two-person involvement; if any one of them doesn’t respond right, it becomes hard for others to stay.
According to recent studies and reports, relationships have reached their peak, the number of divorces has increased, breakups and broken marriages have improved very much, why?
The only reason is a misunderstanding; it has been found that most of the relationships brokes because of misunderstanding and distrust.
“The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.” ― Carl Gustav Jung
I think you are getting this? If one of them changes, it can explode.
The whole point is to maintain equilibrium.
1. Lying breaks more relationships than anything
A relationship is a bond that is based on understanding and honesty; if there is honesty, this bond can last forever; otherwise, it can sever in seconds.
The thing is, how must trust you have on each other, and the truth can only develop genuine trust.
“I’m not upset that you lied to me, I’m upset that from now on I can’t believe you.” ― Friedrich Nietzsche
Once you lose trust, you lose the whole game.
My mom usually state this to me, it took a very long time to build trust, but a single event of a lie can break the whole trust.
So, it’s all about having trust in each other, but in present online dating time, it seems quite impossible.
Because you can not build trust overnight, some manage to make it, but it’s not right for all.
2. Misunderstanding a curse for relationships
A large number of connections broke because of misunderstanding; any reason can cause it.
Lying is not the only reason for misunderstanding, but it can occur by insecurities and self-doubts.
In some relationships, people put the other person above the self, and later they start creating miscalculation on behalf of many things.
“I think you still love me, but we can’t escape the fact that I’m not enough for you. I knew this was going to happen. So I’m not blaming you for falling in love with another woman. I’m not angry, either. I should be, but I’m not. I just feel pain. A lot of pain. I thought I could imagine how much this would hurt, but I was wrong.” ― Haruki Murakami, South of the Border, West of the Sun
This explains the whole thing if you start creating differences against your own, then who will save your connection?
Stop using this kind of words and try to find out some that can make your bond more profound.
3. Don’t find reasons to blame each other
As we are doing this for a long time, so we have acquired a habit of blaming others for everything.
“It is good to have a reason for every action you perform other than blaming others for their faults.” - random
Try to find things that connect you rather than something that separate you; the present time is different people are desperately finding reasons to break bonds instead of saving them.
Stopping blaming each other for little things, because this blaming starts separating you slowly from inside, and later what’s insides comes outside.
4. Don’t be overprotective
You know that sometimes overprotectiveness becomes annoying and we want to skip that person from our life.
Everything that happens in excess turns out to be a pain in the head, and people don’t know how to handle that pain, they choose to run from that pain and person who creates that pain.
Try to be protective, not overprotective, because it feels like; you are a caged bird not allowed to fly by your wish.
5. Don’t try to control each other
It becomes difficult to stay when someone is controlling our actions, and we know that we all are different with different mind and priority.
If someone tries to control us, we just freak out for freedom, because freedom has the highest value in our life.
Instead of controlling others, we must try to control self actions.
I know during relationships, it feels like a particular person belongs to us, but it’s a mistake.
A relationship must set a person free instead of bonding him in rules and regulation, if a person is free than he can follow all rules by ease.
You must free each other from the unknown borders, which you have created because of insecurities.
6. Keeping Secrets prohibited in a relationship
It’s good to have a free and open relationship because that can last longer than the one which is joint by the lies.
One must try to have a heart to heart conversation in a relationship because only that can create powerful bonds, and these bonds will last longer than your age.
If you are in love with someone, then you must try to create genuine bonds.
7. Try to leave things behind
Many of us have the habit of carrying things forward, and we want them to acknowledge by another person. He has done that thing in the past.
This is insane, and it’s only going to destroy your bond.
You must know things that happened in the past are not going to change; it’s better to leave them behind instead of carrying them forward as a burden.
Try to forget things that were happened years ago. Otherwise, you will just end up becoming a victim of the past.
You must not treat anyone based on things that have happened years ago or before, make a good habit and be happy and always acts by looking at the impacts of things in the future.
8. Try not to create the same mistakes again and again.
Things that happen once or twice are called mistakes; if you are repeating them again and again, they are called self-created mistakes.
If you are doing something by acknowledging, it can’t be considered as a mistake, because by this behaviour, people will only distrust you, and later shiver their bonds with you.
You must try to avoid repeating the same mistakes frequently.
9. Try to understand the other person instead of making him know you
We all do this, and it has become our habit, for years, we are complaining that another person is not getting me.
But, we never tried to understand him either, because we have developed the tendency of blaming and we never think through this.
We must try to understand the other person sometimes, what he’s saying and why? If we know the nature of that person, then we can act according to that.
it’s better to understood sometimes, instead of making other people understand.
This will reduce the chances of conflicts between both of you.
10 Don’t share things between you with others.
Last and most important, we usually make this mistake; we share things between us with others and believe that they will solve the conflict.
But the truth is people only make things more dangerous when you start getting involved, and your problems get public.
Instead of going to others for resolving your problems, try to solve them by yourself.
If you solve them by self, you will develop a better understanding of each other.
Humans generally do mistakes as said in Hindu culture,“ Manusay to galtiyio ka putla hai” which means Human is a statue of mistakes.
We must learn from those mistakes and do not repeat them only then we can make our relationships better.
Sometimes I don’t understand if there is love, how can there be conflict? It’ not possible.
If love is all over, then there must not be conflicts.