You’re More Beautiful Than You Believe
This is not a motivational statement; it’s science
Let me start by saying that I’ve never thought of myself as an attractive person.
There are several reasons behind this supposition. I believe that I have a rather simple face, an average body, and no real charm about me. It’s not that I think of myself as ugly, but as just plain ordinary. Not the opposite of pretty, just the absence of it.
And I suppose this is not uncommon — many people view themselves the same way. Naturally, we’re quite self-conscious and tend to judge ourselves more harshly as compared to our judgement of others.
The cognitive bias that leads to criticising one’s own looks is based on the theory of loss aversion. What this theory essentially states is that the perceived value of losing something we have is greater than that of gaining something we lack. A basic example of this is that the pain of losing a $10 bill in your pocket is stronger than the joy of finding a $10 bill on the street. As a result of this, we tend to focus on avoiding losses.
Therefore, when we view ourselves in the mirror, we pay attention to what makes us look bad instead of what makes us look good. In other words, the flaws that apparently make us lose in the game of beauty become evident. This is explained in detail by Dr. Gleb Tsipursky here.
By the way — who do we perceive to be the winners at the game of beauty? The celebrities, of course. Because that’s what the media has fed into our heads. It’ll take quite some time and a concentrated effort to erase these artificial standards of beauty from our subconsciousness, but please consider the following points.
You cannot look at yourself from another person’s perspective. All you have are mirrors, cameras and photographs — these are not the same as the lens of a human being’s eyes; they’re not the same as reality. You haven’t seen your excitement when you narrate a thrilling incident. You haven’t seen your unabashed joy when you pet your favourite animal. You haven’t seen your sarcastic smile when a friend cracks a lame joke.
In essence, you have never seen the moments that make you beautiful. But know that in these moments you are the shining star that illuminates the night sky; and those around you definitely notice your beauty in all its glory.