Your Personality, an Ever-Evolving Painting

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generous. That’s something I encourage. I say to stop pleasing people. And that’s a different thing.</p><p id="eb84">Generosity comes from within. It’s a pure and caring desire to help others. External pressure often leads to people-pleasing. It’s when you do something not for the act of giving but to be accepted by a group of people.</p><p id="c80f">So the first problem is solved: stop hating yourself because others don’t show you signs of appreciation.</p><h1 id="ed8e">Start Accepting Yourself</h1><figure id="e0f5"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/0*R9SGuHXm9_iOac_j"><figcaption>Photo by <a href="https://unsplash.com/@ohlrogge?utm_source=medium&utm_medium=referral">Niklas Ohlrogge</a> on <a href="https://unsplash.com?utm_source=medium&utm_medium=referral">Unsplash</a></figcaption></figure><p id="1421">The true and most difficult thing is to accept yourself. There might be things you don’t like about yourself. It might be that you’re shy and want to be more extroverted, that you’d like to be more grateful for what you have in your life and want to be more emotional, or becoming less judgmental of your loved ones. The good news is that contrary to the common belief that personality is innate and immutable, you can change.</p><p id="16a4" type="7">“Your identity is not fixed; it is an ever-evolving masterpiece” — Benjamin Hardy, Personality Isn’t Permanent</p><p id="a32c">Numerous studies have found that our personality traits evolve throughout our lives. My personal experience is a testament to this too: I transitioned from an INFJ to an ENFP after working on myself and moving from Paris to New York. Spending more time building relationships in this new environment made me more extroverted while moving to a new place increased my desire for change over stability (hence the change from Judging to Prospecting).</p><h1 id="2c59">📝 Activit

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y</h1><p id="738f">Here are some journaling prompts to help you make progress on the way you see yourself and change.</p><ul><li>Identify your key personality traits according to the <a href="http://16personalities.com/">16personalities.com</a> test. Which of these traits resonate most with you?</li><li>Reflect on the traits you appreciate in yourself and those you wish to change. Can you identify why you feel this way about them?</li></ul><h1 id="8eb6">🖇️ Related Articles</h1><p id="1f95">Keep going on this journey with these steps:</p><div id="fe45" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/discover-your-identity-through-design-c5cdaa0439db"> <div> <div> <h2>How to Discover Your Identity Through Creative Expression</h2> <div><h3>Embark on a journey of self discovery & personal branding by harnessing the power of design</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*pRVHR3svLUFSwxQq)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="de24" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/12-inspirational-quotes-to-turn-your-life-around-9c0929ab95f8"> <div> <div> <h2>12 Inspirational Quotes to Turn Your Life Around</h2> <div><h3>These inspirational quotes from the greatest men in history have shaped the way I think about life. I’m sure it will…</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*3C4qqn3BW2sUeieE)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div></article></body>

You can become the person you want to be and here’s how

There are things we or others don’t like about ourselves, and we therefore tend to reject these “unattractive” parts of ourselves. We all regularly face comments like:

“Stop being so shy!” (that’s something I used to tell myself)

“Why do you talk so much?”

“Don’t get all emotional about this!”

We get caught up in our thoughts, and ask ourselves harsh questions such as “What’s wrong with me?”. These internally stigmatized parts of ourselves create inner conflict, unease, and unhappiness.

However, by delving into the science of personality, we can step back from this inner negative chatter and realize that our traits are shared with many people around the globe, removing the stigma and shame often associated with them and making room for acceptance and change.

Stop Pleasing People

The first thing I would say is: don’t be someone you’re not to please someone else. People pleasing will drive you far away from a happy life. Note I’m not saying to stop being generous. That’s something I encourage. I say to stop pleasing people. And that’s a different thing.

Generosity comes from within. It’s a pure and caring desire to help others. External pressure often leads to people-pleasing. It’s when you do something not for the act of giving but to be accepted by a group of people.

So the first problem is solved: stop hating yourself because others don’t show you signs of appreciation.

Start Accepting Yourself

The true and most difficult thing is to accept yourself. There might be things you don’t like about yourself. It might be that you’re shy and want to be more extroverted, that you’d like to be more grateful for what you have in your life and want to be more emotional, or becoming less judgmental of your loved ones. The good news is that contrary to the common belief that personality is innate and immutable, you can change.

“Your identity is not fixed; it is an ever-evolving masterpiece” — Benjamin Hardy, Personality Isn’t Permanent

Numerous studies have found that our personality traits evolve throughout our lives. My personal experience is a testament to this too: I transitioned from an INFJ to an ENFP after working on myself and moving from Paris to New York. Spending more time building relationships in this new environment made me more extroverted while moving to a new place increased my desire for change over stability (hence the change from Judging to Prospecting).

📝 Activity

Here are some journaling prompts to help you make progress on the way you see yourself and change.

Identify your key personality traits according to the 16personalities.com test. Which of these traits resonate most with you?

Reflect on the traits you appreciate in yourself and those you wish to change. Can you identify why you feel this way about them?