Your Lover Deserves Some Attention

If you deny it, this could mean ‘curtains’ for your relationship

When it comes to love relationships, some people don’t pay much attention to their lover, or their needs, after being with them for a while.

Some people expect to get their own needs met and, as long as their partner complies with each whim and doesn’t complain, they’re deemed a good fit.

However, if you’re going to date someone seriously, no matter how compatible you are; if you don’t willingly give attention to your partner and intend to listen to understand and value what they are saying, it will always come off as disrespectful — and nobody wants a partner like that.

In my experience, if a partner isn’t willing to look you in the eye and really listen to you, the relationship is probably doomed. At best, you will never have a deep, meaningful or intimate conversation with them and you’ll always feel short-changed.

So how important is your relationship?

Assuming you really love, admire and want to keep your partner: Why wouldn’t you want to give them your best attention?

If your phone or TV is more important, it’s probably best to remain single. Not everyone can do love relationships and for some people, even considering someone else is a bridge too far …

The Loneliness of Neglect

Sometimes, when a lover is frequently neglected, they retreat into their own secret world with growing resentment …

And that’s just the start of it.

Here’s a list of relationship issues that may surface.

• Your partner may say things that require your full attention, but if they often can’t get it, they may stop trying to communicate. Let this go on long enough and they will resent you and may want to be alone.
• If you live with your partner but nowadays hardly ever talk to them or ask any questions, they’ll simply think you’re not interested. This is a big turn-off for any self-respecting person, especially if they enquire about your thoughts and enjoy communicating; it’s very hard to maintain or enjoy a one-sided relationship.
• Not attempting to comfort and support your partner when they’re upset adds insult to injury.
• When your partner says they feel neglected and you say you’ll do something about it but never actually do, they feel even more overlooked than before. So don’t be surprised if they start peeking over the fence at other options.
• Not showing any interest in your partner’s work, hobbies or concerns makes them feel unsupported, as does never initiating fun or romantic things to do together.
• Avoiding social groups with your lover makes them feel alone.
• If you never notice how your partner looks or give them any sincere compliments or affection, they won’t feel attractive or appreciated. If your lover often feels ignored, you will slowly but surely lose their respect and, once that’s gone, it’s very hard to win back.
• When you don’t say anything kind, thoughtful or intimate to your lover, don’t expect them to be drawn to you romantically or sexually. Nobody wants to get cosy with a robot. Not being interested in what pleases them mentally, spiritually or physically comes over as cold and detached.
• If you’ve been with your partner for a while and you still don’t know the colour of their eyes … Need I say more?

As you can see, this bunch of neglectful behaviour gets pretty tiresome and, it seems to be played out by some people for much of the time. So I think it’s important we realise that, if we all took responsibility for showing our partners we care, the world would be a much happier place.

It’s worth noting that, most of the above issues would not arise if we were paying good attention in the first place.

If you want to enjoy a long-term quality relationship with your partner and you really do value them; you need to consistently back it up with good behaviour and give them your best undivided attention.

That’s the biggest compliment — and all that most people want.

©America Zed. Other Self-Help Stories by America Zed.