Your Fear of Feeling Embarrassed is Stopping You From Moving Forward.

This was inspired by a hoodie.

Have you seen those hoodies on social media that say, 'Your fear of looking stupid is holding you back'?

Yeah, they are pretty spot-on.

While writing a blog about how I track my spending, I wrote a sentence that said, 'overcame the shame/embarrassment I felt,' the first thing I thought of was this hoodie with this powerful sentence.

It made me realize there were so many instances in my youth (I’m still young, just a little wiser) where I let the idea of feeling embarrassed hold me back.

For a very long time (more than I'd like to admit), I lived according to what others and the world said I should be like.

I tried to shove myself into this box with no room for anything other than being likable and agreeable.

Whenever I did something that showed my creativity or shone a light on other parts of my personality, I remember feeling my face go hot and red like a tomato.

I expected everyone to react negatively.

Eventually, I realized I had to make a choice.

Either live according to what everyone else said I should do or learn to overcome my embarrassment and begin moving forward.

Feeling embarrassed before anything actually happens is your fear trying to self-sabotage you.

That feeling of your nerves going haywire is your flight and fight response kicking in, anticipating danger.

We're still instinctual beings and anything that makes us feel nervous triggers that response, which usually wants us to escape any perceived danger.

But for many of us who live in the Western and Eastern worlds, the actual danger that threatens our lives isn't happening on the daily.

It's all our perception of what could happen.

Most of the time, we anticipate something negative happening.

This is why you need to get into the habit of taking that step, despite how your nerves make you feel.

I remember the first time I published on Medium.

I was a wreck.

I didn't know what to expect. I had no idea how it would be received, if at all, and I couldn't anticipate what could or would happen next.

I was at a complete blank.

I still hit the publish button because my curiosity was greater than my fear.

I needed to know if I had an opportunity on this platform.

So I took the leap.

It's been about two and a half years, and I'm so glad I ignored my nerves.

The truth is, no one has done anything that EVERYONE has liked.

There are always going to be haters.

No matter what you do, no matter how wonderful and nice and helpful it is, there's always going to be someone criticizing you and trying to make your work look like crap.

Most of us have heard of Mr. Beast on YouTube.

Not long ago, I found out that he went to a third-world country, and I believe he was building wells or water pipes for a community or communities (correct me if I'm wrong).

To many of us, that seems like a wonderful act of kindness.

Well, a group of people called that a publicity stunt, saying he was only doing that to get more clout for appearing like a saint.

The funny part is that Mr. Beast anticipated that response.

I believe he tweeted that he knew he would get canceled for documenting doing something good and something he wanted to do.

He's been in this game so long he already knew people would criticize him and anything he did.

The reality is, for some people, nothing is ever good enough.

I've learned that lesson myself, and the only thing you can do is wish those people the best and walk the other way.

Trying to satisfy anyone is a huge waste of time because they probably don't even know what would satisfy them.

More importantly, it's not your responsibility.

You're only responsible for yourself (unless you have kids — I don't).

So try not to worry or take the opinions and criticisms of others personally.

Odds are, they are projecting and being harsh because that's probably how they were treated in the past.

And rather than change that, rather than working on themselves, and improving themselves, they'd instead take their frustrations and anger out on someone who is doing what they wanted to do but didn't push themselves to.

Disappointing people is part of life.

Don't think others feeling disappointed about you is a sign that you must change directions.

One of my biggest fears when I started counseling was disappointing the people I loved.

I thought I wasn't worthy of love if I was a disappointment.

Four years after my first session, I've learned that disappointing people is part of life.

Many of us have been raised in households where our parents, family, and friends have expectations of us.

They think they know what's best for us, and sometimes they do, but that doesn't mean we have to listen or should.

We're all meant to walk certain paths in life.

Those paths will have hills and valleys — good times and bad times. We can't predict life; we can try, but usually, that never works out.

Sometimes, doing everything we can and everything within our power isn't enough, and that's okay.

What's not okay is letting that disappointment make you believe it's over for you.

What's not okay is listening to the opinions of others and giving up on pursuing what you want because it didn't work out the first time.

What's not okay is living life according to what others say you should do, giving away your autonomy and decision-making.

What's not okay is hiding and holding back who you were meant to be.

So, don't let your fear of possible embarrassment stop you from taking risks and moving your life in the direction you've always dreamed of.

The truth is, it's a lot less overwhelming and nerve-wracking than you think it is.