You Will See the Movies You Love One More Time if You Do Good

There are ten movies in my Top 5

It has taken me a long time to write this post.

* The author checks her notes and realizes it has actually been almost seven months. Ashamed, she decides to keep this fact a secret she will take to her grave.

Oh, wait a minute…*

It all started several months ago when Arpad Nagy tagged me in a prompt about finding the five movies that define you. The moment I read it, I knew I was in trouble.

First of all, I wasn’t going to be able to ignore it, not forever at least. Second, the list of movies that have become part of my soul is quite long. And third, obsessive as I am, I was aware that once I managed to come up with a short list, I was going to want to watch them again.

And watch them again I did. And I started writing. And then shit happened in my life, which gave me an excuse to be a very naughty, inconsistent writer for the past few months.

But tonight, I’m feeling feisty, so I’m going to give it a try and finish this thing. However, I must warn you: I’m going to cheat a bit…

Once Upon a Time in the West

You brought two too many.

I can’t stand westerns. Really. I think it is because I grew up in a Mexican border town where the sun is relentless and dust takes over the entire place from time to time. So, whenever I watch a western, I instantly remember the heat.

And yet, the first time I was in the presence of this movie, even though I was only a few minutes into it, I knew, without a trace of a doubt, I would have to include it in whatever list I ever made of favorite flicks.

In fact, the movie could end after this first sequence — luckily, it doesn’t — and it would still be part of this inventory.

You see, the man with the harmonica wants to kill Frank. And, as the movie progresses, we cannot help but agree with him.

However, this particular western isn’t just about a bunch of men who want to kill each other. In reality, at the heart of the film, we find a woman, Jill, who came to town to start a new life and instead finds herself facing danger at every corner.

All around her, there are men. As the poster proclaimed, “There were three men in her life. One to take her… one to love her… and one to kill her.” And yet, she is not a damsel in distress. She fights with what she has and does whatever she needs to do to survive. She will not go down easily.

Of course, the music deserves a very special mention. With a score by the magnificent Don Ennio Morricone, this movie is a delight.

By the way, I feel compelled to mention High Noon here. I mean, the music! The acting! The story! And Katy Jurado proved why she was a queen.

Brokeback Mountain

I’m nothing. I’m nowhere.

Star-crossed lovers’ stories make me uncomfortable nowadays. In my youth, it was cool to indulge in the delicious pain of not being able to be with your beloved.

However, I have gotten to experience it in real life and can attest to the fact that this is nothing but false advertising. Not being able to pour all of your love into the person you want to share it with is nothing but torture.

And in this movie, we see two people who experience just that. Yes, I know they lied and cheated on their wives. These characters are far from being perfect people, but through them, we get to experience the despair of not knowing when we’ll get to hold our beloved.

Plus, the images are just fucking beautiful, and, as if that wasn’t enough, it includes one of the most heartbreaking love quotes ever: “I’m nothing. I’m nowhere…”

Damn right.

I don’t expect non-film buffs to understand this, but after watching it, I didn’t go back to the movie theater for almost three months…nothing seemed worthy enough to follow this film.

Mulholland Drive

Silencio…

The only way I could describe this film is as a heartbreak-induced hallucination. During the first few scenes, we are not sure what’s happening: first, there’s a woman, Betty, who moves to Hollywood because she wants to become a movie star. And then, there’s a gorgeous brunette traveling in a limo who, after surviving a murder attempt, cannot remember who she is.

The women team up, and we get the sense we are watching a typical noir story. And yet, something else is bubbling under the surface…just like when we are about to wake up from a dream.

The movie is filled with memorable moments. My favorite one is when our main characters visit the club Silencio and witness the following performance. I suggest you grab your headphones and a box of tissues:

After this, the movie changes, and we begin to unravel the mystery of what’s really going on. Alas, sometimes, you wake up from a dream only to realize you are still inside a nightmare.

All That Jazz

It’s showtime, folks!

For the most part, I can’t get into musicals. I can stand Chicago and even enjoy The Rocky Horror Picture Show — frankly, I think that’s primarily because of Tim Curry. However, I love this movie, and there are days when I cannot get it out of my mind.

Here, we have dark humor, which is the best kind of humor, honestly. Plus, Gideon’s cynicism makes me fall in love with him like an idiot. Because, yes, only an idiot would love a guy like that. The man is an asshole.

I believe this is one of the few musicals that has made its way into my heart because all of the sex, the stunts, the singing, and the dancing follow the cardinal rule of not interrupting the narrative. Instead, they contribute to the story or help reinforce character development.

There are iconic moments, like a hospital hallucination scene that Gideon himself directs to his utter dissatisfaction. Or like the following musical number — warning: as the clip progresses, it becomes slightly NSFW, so I suggest you do not watch while the kids are around unless you are prepared to have a very intense conversation with them. Hey, maybe you should!

Above all, I dig the overall message: when we die, puff, we are gone. It doesn’t matter who we think we are. If we are lucky, a few people will care…but we are going to be dead, so we won’t even notice. What’s the matter? Don’t you like musical comedy?

The Iron Giant

You are who you choose to be.

Good animated films tend to make me sad. The Triplets of Belleville makes me weep. The Tale of The Princess Kaguya depresses me beyond belief. Don’t even get me started on WALL·E!

And then there’s The Iron Giant.

With a script that effortlessly flows and a heartwarming friendship at its core, I adore the melancholy that runs through the film. Plus, Hogarth is basically 9-year-old me: a nerd without friends who gets along better with grown-ups. He is a loner, happy to indulge in his special interests, while the other kids look at him like he is weird.

But both Hogarth and the Giant learn that they don’t have to be what people tell them they should. They are free to find their own path. They are free to fly the skies.

They are free to be…Superman.

Intermission

Now, this is the part where I break the rules and add five more movies — come and arrest me, Nagy — because I want to and can. I could add more…many more, but I’m exercising some restraint. I could be here all day, people.

These are not five “bonus” titles. Oh, no! These ten films are all equally important to me. I’m already in pain because of all the movies I had to leave out.

So, please, let us continue…

Wings of Desire

Als das Kind Kind war.

I love every frame and every word in this movie, even the long Peter Falk’s monologues. Also, I developed a massive crush on Bruno Ganz.

When I first watched it, I was surprised by the transitions between color and black and white. Add to that, I was mesmerized by the beautiful shots of Berlin: the buildings, the landscape, the sky…oh, my, what a sky.

This movie is the reason why a long vacation in Berlin is on my bucket list.

All these years later, even a cynic like me is still fascinated by the idea of angels listening to our every thought while only children get to see them. I can almost picture them trading observations about the stupid things I do and throwing a small celebration when I get something right. I am wrong to think this way, of course, because these angels would never judge.

And, at the heart of this movie, we have Damiel and Marion. God, she’s beautiful. What a love story! It is indeed possible to feel the fluttering of the wings of desire.

Dreams

I can’t believe I’m really dead.

I almost went with Ran here. After all, it is The Perfect Movie by Akira Kurosawa, who was the greatest filmmaker ever — we’ll talk more about that soon, I promise. But, somehow, Dreams seemed a better fit for this article.

Apparently, there’s no plot—just a series of stories that flow without any sort of connection between them. However, what we are doing is traveling from vision to vision; sometimes, we tiptoe our way into a nightmare, and when we back away, we find we are in a placid hallucination.

There are no rules, just fantasy.

This is the movie that made Kurosawa my #1. It also taught me that, when you are an artist, while you are in that magical little world of yours, you can do anything you want…just like in a dream.

The Pillow Book

Use my body like the pages of a book.

A classmate of mine used to tell me, “You like weird shit.” Sometimes, there was judgment in her voice. Other times, there was admiration. Keep that thought in your back pocket, please.

During a Film Appreciation class — I swear that was the official name — a teacher played us Peter Greenaway’s The Pillow Book.

I was instantly intrigued. It had never occurred to me that movies could be…like that: Screens on screen, a mix of theater, music video, painting, and, yes, the beauty of the written word.

In the movie, we meet Nagiko, a woman whose kink is to have her lovers write over her body. Later, she learns she also has the power to be the scribe, the artist holding the quill.

When she meets Jerome, a translator, they start a sizzling romance. We watch them make love amid a sea of books, words, and languages. There’s a lot of writing in this film.

After watching it, I followed with A Zed & Two Noughts, 8 ½ Women, Nightwatching — I had forgotten that Martin Freeman is in that one — and Prospero’s Books. What can I say? I like weird shit.

Sadly, I have been unable to keep up with Mr. Greenaway’s work. I guess I should have done a bit more of research on him, but since writing this post has already taken me almost seven months, I figured that would be unwise. Damn it, why do I keep revealing my secrets to you, dear reader?

Nomadland

I don’t ever say a final goodbye. I always just say, “I’ll see you down the road.” And I do.

Loving solitude is a blessing. Loving solitude is a curse. Knowing that you would be able to live alone for the rest of your life and still enjoy it, is as powerful as it is haunting.

Is solitude the one and true way to be free and, therefore, really happy? That question kept popping into my mind as I watched this film.

I know for some, this is a sad movie. “Oh, she is so alone. Oh, the isolation.” But that’s what I loved the most about it.

I kept watching Fern staring into the sunset, not a soul around her, and all I could feel was a deep serenity. However, I will admit that, as the movie progressed, I realized I was mighty wrong in my perception of her journey.

She is not actually alone. During her journey, she comes across people. They talk, and they even share some experiences. She enjoys them and lets them enjoy her, as long as they don’t try to poke into her boundaries. When they do, she is gone.

Fern is happy when she is alone, but she is also delighted when she is in company…provided it is good company.

She is satisfied when she thinks of the past and everything it brought. She knows it wasn’t ideal, but she is not bitter about it. What would be the point of that? She knows her future won’t be perfect, but she is not wasting her breath feeling angry. What would be the point of that?

Right here, right now, I want me some of that peace.

Pig

I was thinking, if I never came looking for her, in my head, she’d still be alive.

I did not expect this movie to hit me the way it did. In my mind, since the title was “Pig,” and it started Nicolas Cage, it was going to be an over-the-top adventure, with John Wick’s references all over it.

Oh, boy, was I wrong…

In reality, this is a reflection on love and grief and the way they forever go hand in hand. In the end, our hearts get broken all over again every time we remember *that* person is gone, never to return.

We never fully recover from grief; we just learn to carry her with us wherever we go. After all, it is our sacred duty to remember…

That’s my top 5, folks.

There you have it, my dear readers. These are the ten movies that made their way into my Top 5.

Writing this was exhausting, and I’ll admit there was a bit of crying, but we made it!

I imagine right now you are thinking about the movies close to your heart, the ones that, should anyone take the time to get to know you, you would be able to discuss in great detail.

I hope you get to watch them again. I hope you find kindred souls to share your cinematic journey with. I hope they are as spectacular as they have been in your dreams. I hope…