Why It Took Me 2 Weeks to Watch ‘Once Upon Time in America’

It’s a magnificent movie, but I don’t think I would have been able to stomach it any other way

Three hours and 49 minutes.

That’s the running time for Once Upon a Time in America (1984). Well, at least for what it’s considered the official version, with a beautiful score by Don Ennio Morricone.

Too long, I know! However, this is a Sergio Leone movie, so I knew it would be a magnificent uncomfortable watch. Thanks to the magic of the internet, I was able to pace myself: I watched episodes of the movie between work meetings and household chores.

In a way, this was for the better, since it turned the movie into a miniseries of my own…I don’t think I would have been able to stomach it any other way.

A boy becomes a man.

The movie begins in the 1930s. First, we see a group of gangsters looking for Noodles, as played by Robert De Niro, who is hiding at an opium den, getting high. Soon, it becomes clear the gangsters' intentions are not good: they most definitively want him dead.

They look for him at his lover’s place and, later, almost kill one of his best friends, Moe. Luckily, Noodles manages to escape, leaving behind a trail of blood and betrayal. From then on, the movie goes back and forth between Noodles’ past and what we can assume is now his future as an old man. We watch him leave everything behind to live a modest, perhaps even boring life. However, a mysterious person sends him a letter that forces him to come back to town.

In a way, we come to pity him. But, as we get into the story of his life, we realize he is not an innocent man.

He has to make a choice.

His childhood wasn’t easy. From the start, there was death and violence. Becoming a tough man was the only way to survive.

Along with his friends, Patrick “Patsy” Goldberg, Philip “Cockeye” Stein, and Dominic, he works for the local boss, Bugsy, committing small crimes…but they have great ambitions for the future.

When they meet Max, the new kid in the neighborhood, what starts as a rivalry soon transforms into a friendship that will change their lives. They are now on their way to become big-time gangsters, although things won’t be that easy, obviously.

Besides, Noodles is torn between chasing his dream and the love of Deborah, his dream girl, who happens to be Moe’s sister.

At moments, it seems he will decide to leave crime behind and become a good boy to be with her, but, in the end, the pull of friendship and the possibility of being powerful is too strong. So, he devotes his life to crime and ends up going to jail for several years after defending his friends’ lives.

Noodles, the monster.

Once he gets out, things have changed. His buddies have been waiting for him, grateful for the sacrifice he made; he has proven beyond doubt he’s a fiercely loyal friend. They have been saving him a special place in the business. From then on, illegal booze, extortion, and other crimes will help them grow in power and influence.

The boys make important connections and manage to exploit the benefits of prohibition. It looks like they are set for life, and Noodles seems to be more than ready for it. Except, in the end, he has to destroy everything, especially what he loves. Nothing can resist the corruption of his mind. The more he cares, the more relentless the slaughtering will be. It includes his friends, even when he was trying to save them, and, above all, Deborah.

Deborah is a star.

Deborah is a strange creature in this world. She is not naive; she’s quite aware of all the shady businesses her brother, Moe, and his friends are involved in, but she wants no part in it. And she might love Noodles, but she won’t settle for a life of crime.

Instead, she dreams of being a star, and she will work hard for it, even if this implies leaving family and love behind.

When Noodles realizes this, he can’t accept it. And that’s when, after a romantic dinner in which she confesses she adores him but still has to leave to fight for her dream, he decides to rape her.

Yeah…we get to see the whole brutal ordeal.

I have to say, watching this wasn’t easy. The scene spares no details. We are forced to witness the screaming and the violence. Worst of all, Noodles is convinced he is doing this because he loves her so much he hates her for not being “his.”

It is one of the most disgusting acts I have seen a character perform on screen, but part of me wants to believe that was the point: there cannot be any doubt in our mind now about Noodles' true nature. He might be the main character in the movie, and he is a loyal friend, but he is not just an antihero…he is a monster.

Turns out, we have been rooting for one of the bad guys. Yes, we saw him commit lots of crimes, but he had no choice, did he? We told ourselves he was just trying to make a living, to survive in a cruel world. Plus, as an old man, he seems quite harmless.

In our defense, he also thinks he is the hero of the story, but there is no such thing in this universe.

When ghosts come back into his life.

As we near the end, the story has one more twist for us: years later, old man Noodles takes some time to visit Deborah to find out what she might know about the letter that made him return. I was surprised to watch her react with such tenderness and longing; it feels as if she is still in love with him, a concept I cannot understand.

And then, a ghost comebacks to haunt Noodles. Turns out, his dear friend Max — played as a grown-up by James Woods before he became whatever he is now — has been alive all of this time under the disguise of a wealthy, corrupt politician. That’s not all: he has a special request for Noodles, one I won’t spoil here.

I’m aware I’m judging this movie through contemporary eyes. In the 20th century, movies handled rape and its consequences in a completely different way. Still, that moment between Noodles and Deborah — and Max’s surreal reappearance — to me, confirm a particular theory that many viewers have shared about this movie.

Only in a dream could this happen.

As I mentioned, at the beginning of the movie, Noodles is hiding at an opium den, getting high to help him relax after watching his friends get killed.

This is why many viewers, myself included, believe that everything that happens after that moment is nothing but a hallucination produced by Noodles’ disturbed mind.

That’s why the movie floats between past, present, and future, as memories, reality, and hope mix in his brain. And this is also why he manages to see Deborah and Max “again.” Not only that, but they both treated him as if he were innocent of everything that happened.

This has to be a dream because only in a fantasy would a man think the woman he raped still loves him. Only there, the friend he betrayed would be alive and desperate to ask for his help.

Isn’t that what we all would wish for if we could control our dreams? To imagine a world without consequences? To be forgiven by those we hurt? To be told we were right? Yes, I know; I’m probably projecting here. After all, we all have made terrible choices, once upon a time…