You Should Trust Your Intuition More Than You Do
It’s there to help you
I have decided to live life the way I was intended to live it. I hope you have too. And for me, that way of life involves intuition — some call it following your gut instincts.
I know, there is a lot to say about using one’s brain — God gave us a brain, too, right? And seeking wise counsel, and making pro/con lists, and testing the waters, and all those other cliches.
And all of them have a place. They do. But for me, their place is secondary to my intuition.
The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift. — Albert Einstein
Remember when you practiced for your college exams? After using the strategies for narrowing down the best of two answers, the advice was: if you’re not sure of the answer your first instinct is usually right.
Why is that? It’s because our subconscious knows more than we consciously are aware of. And with our caution-filled minds, we can easily talk ourselves out of the best decisions of our lives. We can hesitate so long that we lose our chance.
Life is our chance. Let’s not hesitate and lose it.
Whether you’re a person who thinks all of this is just a bit woo-woo or you don’t understand how you know that you know, the truth is that we’ve all relied on intuition.
We’ve all had moments when we’ve said things like: I just feel like this is the right decision…For some reason, I was drawn to this and it all worked out.
We’ve all had moments when things turned out exactly how we needed them to, or several things concurrently kept pointing to the same conclusion. And I’m sure you’ve said things like: I guess it was meant to be…If I hadn't been in that place at that time…
Or when you make a statement like I’d like to begin watercolor painting, and a few weeks later you notice a Facebook friend has started a watercolor painting group and you know it’s the right fit for you.
Sure, your conscious is more aware of all things watercolor painting because you spoke it aloud, but it began with your subconscious bringing something to the surface that you were previously unaware of or possibly blocking.
And if you’d like to be more medically minded about intuition you can read about the Vagus nerve. It turns out that our gut and mind are connected.
…“gut feeling” is a more literal term than we give it credit for. It turns out that the vagus nerve serves as a pretty direct line between your brain and your viscera, keeping track of and reacting to interoceptive signals (that is, information about what’s going on inside your body) — Visible Body
Coincidence?
This morning I woke up at 4:30 am and could not get back to sleep. I pulled out my Kindle and searched for something to watch on Netflix. I found a list called “Hidden Gems” and my eyes landed on a movie about a guy who can time travel.
I have an obsession with time travel stories and saw that Rachel McAdams was the co-star — also the leading lady in another great time travel movie, The Time Traveler's Wife, and I was hooked.
Initially, the movie was kind of goofy, focusing on the angst of young love and teenage clumsiness, but soon it became quite enchanting and by the end, I was overwhelmed with the profound message of this story. I won’t spoil it for you, but invite you to watch it: About Time.
So what? You say. After I dried my eyes, I turned to Medium to read a few stories and the first one that caught my eye was this little gem by Zul Bal called Nothing Belongs to Us, Except Time.
Time. Coincidence? Of course not — by now you know I don’t believe in that.
Not to spoil that lovely article for you, I’d like to focus on why these two things are relevant to me. Both reflected each other’s message and both reinforced something I’ve been seeing, hearing, and detecting from all directions: the value of the present moment.
The message of About Time is simple and that’s why I like it. Simple but not easy and not trite and not useless if you want to live life in a way that feels, well, lived.
I’ve learned something about time that has slowly transformed how I live
There are two kinds of time: chronos and kairos.
Chronos is time that marches and follows the clock and calendar; time that we seem to race against. The time that is relentless and makes us strive and feel like we’re losing our grasp on our lives. Time, that if we live in, will erode our memories and steal our joy.
Chronos time leaves us wanting more, never feeling satisfied, and always with regrets.
Kairos time, on the other hand, is distinguished as moments.
Time for laughter, time to grow old together, time to enjoy one’s youth. We talk about it when we say things like: this is a time to heal, a time to bask in life’s joys.
Kairos time doesn’t have a calendar date to it and it’s only when we look back that we see that kind of time for what it was — those seasons in our life where we realize we were growing, learning, changing, or embracing life.
But life marches on and sometimes that bothers me, which is why I think I am drawn to movies and stories about time travel.
What if I could go back and have some do-overs? I bet you’ve thought about that too. What day or season or time in your life would you go back and live again?
I’d like to go back to when I was in my 30s and leave a note — several would be needed — to tell myself to slow down, to stop striving, to hold onto the golden moments because they fly fast. And to trust my intuition!
Or maybe you’d use your time traveling abilities to go back to a perfect day and relive it. What day would you pick first?
In recent, wiser years, I’ve figured out that the times I regret the most were the times I didn’t trust my intuition. When I let someone or something talk me out of what I thought was the best course for my life. When I let fear override that gut instinct or when I allowed being practical to dissuade me from being hopeful.
It’s when I worried about the future instead of choosing the joy in today. It’s when I traveled with too much baggage and didn’t stop to pick the daisies.
The intuition muscle
It’s intuition that leads me into paths that are best for me. I make decisions based on that intuition and I know for some it feels reckless and silly, or even stupid. But it’s got to be part of your decision-making process or else you’ll be leaving out an essential part.
Even though I know we don’t all approach life in the same manner — you can learn more about your decision-making style here — I am fully persuaded that each of us would serve ourselves and those we love better if we gave intuition a place at the table. For me, it deserves the head of the table because it’s never steered me wrong.
They say faith is like a muscle — the more you use it the stronger it becomes. If you feel like your intuition is a weak and underdeveloped muscle you can strengthen it by giving it a few starter exercises.
The more you use intuition the stronger it becomes, and the more you can trust it.
Try it out with just a simple, inconsequential decision. I like this idea from Emily P. Freeman: pick what you like and see how it grows. In other words, choose something solely based on the fact that you like it — don’t overthink the decision— and see what comes of it.
For me, watercolor painting was a no-risk choice: a small investment in cheap paints and paper and a few minutes of my time. If I didn’t like it I could walk away. But if I did (which I do) it could grow into a worthwhile hobby.
My intuition tells me that we all have the intuition muscle — we just need to learn to develop it. And I say: it’s ABOUT TIME!
Thanks for taking the time. ~Mary
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