You Oughta Know: Zombies
A Musical Story Challenge: Alanis Morissette
“Thank U for sealing that door behind you. It’s dangerous out there,” the postman said. “I know you’re new around here, but You Learn fast it takes everyone on high alert to keep out the Uninvited. Danger is always Closer Than You Might Believe.”
“You Oughta Know that I’m not new,” said the preacher. “Been fighting evil my entire life. I carried the Torch for peace every Sunday at my parish. All I Really Want is for Everything to get back to normal, so I’m Joining You — ”
“That’s Ironic that a man of faith would fight the undead — So Pure but actually Jekyll and Hyde? Symptoms of a Plastic world, father?”
“Not really. Underneath it all, I’m a Citizen of the Planet, so I can’t let my faith be a Straitjacket. You gotta Give What You Got.”
“So you’ve declared a Moratorium on prayer, preacher?”
“No. I take Comfort in my faith. It’s not Perfect, but we’re all Forgiven — even if we Walk Away. But I don’t Flinch when life gets hard,” he said. “And please just call me Baba.”
“UR the Guardian they call Baba? Wow. You’re a Celebrity.” The postman stood to shake his hand. “When Havoc like this breaks out in the Real World, I’d picture a Guru like you on the sidelines keeping your Hands Clean — away from all this Madness.”
“Nope. The Lord works in mysterious ways. But if my life’s purpose — albeit Incomplete — is to save my congregation by keeping a Hand in My Pocket and staying ready to drop a zombie, then I shall answer the call. So The Bottom Line is I’m here, no Excuses, in the Front Row — in Your House.”
“Impressed...” The postman nodded. “That I Would Be Good like that, pastor.”
“I want to walk through life instead of being dragged through it.” — Alanis Morissette
MUSICAL STORY CHALLENGE
My score here: 293 words divided by 39 Alanis song references equals 7.5 words per reference. The lower the score, the better.
This tribute to the music of Alanis Morissette was a response to a musical story challenge here by Michael Whalen:
But I first heard about it, thanks to Mark Starlin. Here’s his story:
Happy “Socially-Distanced” Halloween.
