You Don’t Have to Love Yourself to Take Care of Yourself

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Find a reason to do it, even if it’s not for yourself. Make sure you’re going to be around so you can take care of your cat or dog. Take care of your health so you can finally write that novel. Cook yourself a decent meal so you can cook it for your partner later.</p><p id="be41">Hopefully, you can find ways to <a href="https://readmedium.com/how-to-enjoy-self-care-d0aceb7c0cff">make self-care fun</a>, or at least tolerable. You’re more likely to do fun things, and even if it only brightens up ten minutes of your day, it’s better than nothing. Plus, you’ll reap the benefits once you’re out the other side.</p><p id="3daf">And, once you’re there, <a href="https://readmedium.com/self-care-doesnt-stop-when-you-re-feeling-better-85f89e312fe5">keep it up</a>. Self-care habits can be formed or reinforced when you’re doing better, so when you’re not feeling the best, you still do them out of sheer habit.</p><p id="90a5">Most importantly, <a href="https://readmedium.com/forget-self-esteem-try-self-compassion-182fc2c1d68f">have some self-compassion</a>. You don’t have to love yourself or have great self-esteem; you just have to understand that you are a being deserving of compassion. When it’s hard to love or even like yourself, it’s at least a little bit easier to believe that you deserve some compassion.</p><p id="36d5">Self-care is hard, even when you’re doing well, so when you hate yourself, it can feel like an insurmountable task. Still, you should do your best to take care of yourself so you can try to feel a little better. Even if you think you don’t deserve it, show yourself some compassion and do it anyway.</p><p id="df6d">And remember, even if you’re not doing great, <a href="https://readmedium.com/im-proud-of-you-13ef0c5b8a9e">I’m proud of you</a>. You’ve come a long way, and you’ve worked really hard to get here. Don’t stop now. Go drink some water, maybe get a snack, and give yourself some credit. Even if you don’t feel like you’re worthy of it, I know you’ve done what you can, and that’s okay.</p><p id="ecfa">Take care of yourself, and never be afraid to reach out for help if you need it. You can do it. I believe in you.</p><p id="3403">If you are suicidal or in crisis, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1–800–273–8255.</p><p id="f030">If you liked this, please subscribe to my publication, Thing a Day. I publish something every day on a variety of topics, so you never know what you’re going to see!</p><div id="9ada" class="link-block"> <a href="https://medium.com/thing-a-day"> <div> <div> <h2>Thing a Day</h2> <div><h3>In which I write one thing each day.</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div>

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    </div><p id="f0bb">If you’re not already a Medium member, I encourage you to <a href="https://matthewmaniaci.medium.com/membership">subscribe</a>. It’s just $5 per month (or $50 for a yearlong subscription), and you can read an unlimited number of my articles as well as unlimited articles from tens of thousands of Medium writers. Your subscription fees support the writers on this platform, and if you click <a href="https://matthewmaniaci.medium.com/membership">this referral link</a> or sign up through my email subscription below, part of your subscription fee will go toward supporting my writing and enabling me to continue publishing a Thing a Day.</p><p id="c7fb">Here are some other things I’ve written:</p><div id="92dd" class="link-block">
      <a href="https://readmedium.com/how-to-enjoy-self-care-d0aceb7c0cff">
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            <h2>How to Enjoy Self-Care</h2>
            <div><h3>Eating right and exercising aren’t always fun. Here’s how to make them better.</h3></div>
            <div><p>medium.com</p></div>
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      <a href="https://readmedium.com/forget-self-esteem-try-self-compassion-182fc2c1d68f">
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            <h2>Forget Self-Esteem. Try Self-Compassion</h2>
            <div><h3>Why being proud of yourself should take a backseat to being nice to yourself.</h3></div>
            <div><p>medium.com</p></div>
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      <a href="https://readmedium.com/self-care-doesnt-stop-when-you-re-feeling-better-85f89e312fe5">
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            <h2>Self-Care Doesn’t Stop When You’re Feeling Better</h2>
            <div><h3>It’s an ongoing task, not a stopgap.</h3></div>
            <div><p>medium.com</p></div>
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Sometimes, you have to treat yourself like a grumpy pet.

I am a big proponent of self-care. Taking care of yourself is an important part of dealing with mental illness, chronic illness, and life in general. It’s a crucial part of maintaining your general well-being.

That said, it can be hard to practice self-care when you’re depressed. “Why bother,” you say to yourself. “I’m a piece of human garbage anyway, why should I take care of garbage? I’m just not worthwhile.”

Depression alters the way you see many things, including yourself. When I get depressed, I tend to hate myself. All of my insecurities about myself — the way I look, the way I sound, my mannerisms, pretty much everything — are amplified to the point where I loathe the thought of existing. I no longer see myself as a worthwhile human being.

However, even when I’m at a low point, I do my best to take care of myself anyway because I know that at some point, I’ll come out of the depression, and when I do, I’ll feel better for it. Working on self-care during a depression is hard, but it will pay off in the end.

That’s something that lots of people don’t understand: you don’t have to love yourself, or even like yourself, to take care of yourself. Sometimes, you just have to do it despite how much you hate yourself.

Think of it like taking care of a grumpy, angry cat. It’ll fight you, hiss at you, scream at you, and try to claw you, but you have to make sure it’s healthy, so you cram it into its carrier and take it to the vet anyway. Nobody is happy about the situation, sure, but once everything is over and things have calmed down, everyone will be better off for it.

And, as with any self-care, it doesn’t have to be big. Just getting enough water and halfway-decent food into your body is good. If you can get up and walk around the block for a few minutes, it’s better than sitting on the couch all day. Cleaning a small corner of the room for ten minutes is better than not. You can even set a timer if you want.

Even if you hate yourself and want to die, do it anyway. Find a reason to do it, even if it’s not for yourself. Make sure you’re going to be around so you can take care of your cat or dog. Take care of your health so you can finally write that novel. Cook yourself a decent meal so you can cook it for your partner later.

Hopefully, you can find ways to make self-care fun, or at least tolerable. You’re more likely to do fun things, and even if it only brightens up ten minutes of your day, it’s better than nothing. Plus, you’ll reap the benefits once you’re out the other side.

And, once you’re there, keep it up. Self-care habits can be formed or reinforced when you’re doing better, so when you’re not feeling the best, you still do them out of sheer habit.

Most importantly, have some self-compassion. You don’t have to love yourself or have great self-esteem; you just have to understand that you are a being deserving of compassion. When it’s hard to love or even like yourself, it’s at least a little bit easier to believe that you deserve some compassion.

Self-care is hard, even when you’re doing well, so when you hate yourself, it can feel like an insurmountable task. Still, you should do your best to take care of yourself so you can try to feel a little better. Even if you think you don’t deserve it, show yourself some compassion and do it anyway.

And remember, even if you’re not doing great, I’m proud of you. You’ve come a long way, and you’ve worked really hard to get here. Don’t stop now. Go drink some water, maybe get a snack, and give yourself some credit. Even if you don’t feel like you’re worthy of it, I know you’ve done what you can, and that’s okay.

Take care of yourself, and never be afraid to reach out for help if you need it. You can do it. I believe in you.

If you are suicidal or in crisis, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1–800–273–8255.

If you liked this, please subscribe to my publication, Thing a Day. I publish something every day on a variety of topics, so you never know what you’re going to see!

If you’re not already a Medium member, I encourage you to subscribe. It’s just $5 per month (or $50 for a yearlong subscription), and you can read an unlimited number of my articles as well as unlimited articles from tens of thousands of Medium writers. Your subscription fees support the writers on this platform, and if you click this referral link or sign up through my email subscription below, part of your subscription fee will go toward supporting my writing and enabling me to continue publishing a Thing a Day.

Here are some other things I’ve written: