Summary

The article emphasizes the importance of embracing unscheduled time for personal rejuvenation and self-fulfillment, challenging the societal pressure to constantly socialize and fill one's calendar.

Abstract

The author reflects on the societal expectation to always have plans, especially during time off, and how they felt pressured to have an exciting schedule. Instead, they found joy in the prospect of spending two weeks at home, engaging in activities that allowed for personal growth and relaxation. The piece argues that being busy doesn't necessarily equate to productivity or success, and that time spent alone can be as valuable as social activities. It also suggests that selectively planning social engagements makes them more meaningful and enjoyable, especially for introverts who need to recharge. The author advocates for the benefits of decompression and the power of saying no to constant socialization, highlighting the importance of taking time to rest and enjoy one's own company.

Opinions

The author feels that society places too much emphasis on being constantly busy and social, which can be particularly challenging for introverts.
There is a sense of guilt associated with not having elaborate plans during time off, as if one is not making the most of their free time.
The article posits that personal time is undervalued and that spending time alone is crucial for self-awareness and well-being.
The expectation to always be social is linked to FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) and is perpetuated by social media.
The author believes that business and success should also be measured by how we spend our time in solitude, not just by our social engagements.
Making fewer plans can enhance the quality of social interactions, making them more special and less of a routine.
The author emphasizes the importance of decompression to prevent burnout and suggests that regular rest is essential for maintaining mental and physical health.
The piece encourages readers to resist the pressure of being a "social butterfly" and to appreciate and seek out periods of unscheduled time.

You Don’t Always Have to Have Plans

Just because we live in a highly socialised world, it doesn’t mean you have to as well

Before I went on annual leave for two weeks, I was bombarded with various questions from people about what I was going to do with my time off. Until they asked me these questions, I hadn’t thought about it much or had time to. I’d simply been so busy working that the two weeks I had booked off well and truly crept up on me.

Although their intentions are lovely and it’s nice to have people so interested in my plans, it got me thinking about the pressures we put on ourselves to always fill our calendars up and make the most of our free time.

When I told people I had this and that planned and a few things I wanted to do, I immediately felt guilty. I felt like I should have a big holiday lined up or some kind of writing retreat I was going on. But in reality, I was content with spending most of it at home, recharging, writing and in my own space.

The world we live in is completely orientated around high levels of socialisation, and it can be extra hard for those who are introverted and spend most of their social energy in their work environments. Social media and the power of FOMO pressure us into having a busy schedule, but in reality, we don’t have to have one.

You can be busy in your own way

The possibility of spending two weeks in my own space, doing my own thing, sounded like bliss after being at work solidly since February with no extended time off. But that doesn’t mean I’m planning it mope around in my pyjamas all day, rather, quite the opposite.

In our society, business and success are primarily associated with work and play. You’re praised and highly respected for staying at your work desk out of hours and the hustle and grind of work is celebrated far more than taking care of our own wellbeing. Furthermore, the opposite is true too. If you’re not out with people and spending time with others at every opportunity, you’re assumed to be a failure. Or rather, it’s looked down upon in comparison to wanting to spend time in your own space. Preferably alone, too.

Although I have scattered plans here and there, I’m spending most of my time off with myself which is exactly how I wanted it. I can read, write, go to the gym and have downtime whenever I want it, rather than sacrificing all of that which usually happens whilst I’m at work.

The truth of it is, we need to stop only associating business with being out and about with other people. Although this is one form of it, which shouldn’t be neglected in its entirety, spending time in your own space by yourself is also another form of business and making plans. It’s just not viewed as equally.

Spending time with yourself, contrary to societal belief, is important and underrated. Being content with who were are as people, and enjoying our own company doesn’t ignore the significance of spending time with others, but more, makes this an easier process.

If you can’t know yourself, you can’t fully know others.

The fewer plans you have, the more special they are

Just because not every single one of your free days is allocated towards spending time with others, it means that when you do choose to, it’s not treated like a chore. Choosing carefully who and what you spend your time on is far more worthwhile than choosing to go on a loud night out with friends, where you can’t hear yourself think, let alone have a genuine conversation with anyone.

Attending these nights out may give you social brownie points, but if you’re an introvert like me, they are likely to drain your social battery so when you do want to spend more genuine time with people, you end up feeling depleted.

Before saying yes, take time to think before you make plans with people and assess whether it will add value to your life, or the other person’s. There’s no point in mindlessly making plans and filling up all of your spare time if it’s going to drain you and not add anything to your existence.

Contrary to popular belief, it’s okay to have empty days ahead of you and only make big plans every few months or so. For those of us who have to conserve our social batteries, it’s far more sensible.

When I choose to make plans to see people, I tend to put everything into that one event. This way, I can focus all my energy and time on that moment, rather than plodding on the next day with another plan, and the next day after. In terms of plans, like most of life, less is more.

Taking time to decompress is underrated

“Don’t underestimate the power of resting. It builds you back unlike anything.” — Hiral Nagda

Whether you get your energy from being around others or have to spend time alone to recharge, everyone needs to decompress from their busy lives. Otherwise, you’ll experience the dreaded burnout. It can be tempting to fill our time off with endless plans to take advantage of the free time we do have, but there’s no harm in slowing down.

There are always going to be other weeks off or empty weekends to make plans for. The whole point of taking time off is to use it to relax and recharge.

I’m proud of myself for taking this stance, as I used to be such a people pleaser back when I was at university. I craved the idea of fulfilling people's approval and thought that attending as many plans and events as I could, improved peoples’ perception of me. But then I gradually stopped caring what people thought and realised I was pushing myself to exhaustion because of not spending any time with myself, which is essential for me to decompress and recharge.

Life is busy, stressful and chaotic. We should all take regular time to decompress in whatever way works for us. Just because we may have a few weeks of spare time, it doesn’t mean we need to cram it full to fulfil the expectations of being a social butterfly.

Crave those empty days where you don’t have a plan in sight, a train to catch or a reservation to make. In the long term, your mind and body will thank you for the rest it deserves.

Our whole world is designed around social and cultural traditions. Think birthdays, religious festivals, deaths, marriages, you name it and it’s likely to revolve around socialising. It can be exhausting. That’s why I’m a huge fan of not making plans and carving out free time for ourselves. There’s power in saying no and leaving that time just for you.

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