“You Are Not Cute and This Is Not Funny”
Blogging for the New York Times
In 2012, I finally achieved a life-long writing goal when I was recruited to write for the New York Times.
For two years, I wrote a monthly essay for “Booming,” a blog on the Times website written by and about Baby Boomers. My first essay, “I’m Not Getting Any Better,”was about my decision, at age 58, to stop trying to improve myself. “I won’t take up yoga,” I wrote. “I won’t be lifting any weights. I will do nothing to strengthen my core. I’m not even going to learn where my core is. I’m a swimmer, and I walk the Yorkie-poo every day. That will have to do.”
I also announced that I’d made my peace with the fact that I would never return to the piano or read Middlemarch. “‘Glib and cutesy’ When my Times editor informed me that my humor piece had been chosen to run on the very first day of “Booming,” I was elated. I was even more thrilled when my essay received more than 100 comments. Then I actually read a few. They were intelligent and articulate — just what you’d expect from New York Times readers. And most were positive. Not only that, but number of the responses to my humor piece were pretty funny themselves.
But a few folks took my little humor piece seriously, and took me to task. “Your glib and cutesy dismissal of lifting weights and working on your core does an immense disservice to anyone reading this,” wrote one. “Wow, I’m glad I’m not you,” added another. “You’ll be the dullest octogenarian in the nursing home,” warned a third. “Nobody will want to visit you!”
Apparently, I’d touched a nerve. I figured that this must be because I was joking around about aging — a serious (and scary) topic.
Stiletto storm My next “Booming” topic couldn’t have been more frivolous. “If The Shoe Fits, Don’t Wear It Unless It’s Comfortable” was about my rejection of stilettos and other fashionably uncomfortable shoes. It provoked a perfect storm of wrath from women who adore uncomfortable shoes. “Your story is not cute and I am not amused.” “This article is rubbish.” One woman re-posted my essay on Facebook with the tag: “Where does the Times find these morons?”
To me, she sneered: “Well aren’t we the special little snowflake?” The experience of being excoriated for writing a humor piece about footwear was a little surreal. But it taught me something — when you express an opinion in the Times, even jokingly, someone somewhere is going to make it their business to trash that opinion.
Kvetching about health So I wasn’t shocked when my next essay — “Let Me Tell You What’s Wrong With Me,” a lighthearted look at the way we Boomers enjoy kvetching about our health — provoked the following: “Articles like this one are dangerous, insensitive and misleading.” “You might feel better if you stopped wallowing and coddling yourself.” “Some of us boomers still have a life.” Ouch.
Lesson learned Happily, most responses to my essays were supportive. But if I’ve learned anything, it was that the old saying, “If you don’t have anything good to say, don’t say it,” doesn’t apply to publishing online — especially on the New York Times website. But the trolls never got me down. I knew my stuff was good. Why? I was writing for the New York Times!
From my very first essay on the site until the Times shut the “Booming” blog down two years later, I remained grateful for this terrific gig, and thrilled to have so many passionate, engaged readers.
Even the schmucks.
Writing Coach Roz Warren, who writes for everyone from the Funny Times to the New York Times, can help you improve and publish your work. Drop her a line at [email protected]. (That’s Ros with an “s,” not a “z.”)