You are Fascinating AF

So please, don’t deprive the rest of us.

Recently, I’ve received some comments from wonderful friends on this platform that have warmed me to the cockles of my (slightly) calcified heart.

Before you balk, apparently, that’s nothing to be concerned about, according to my recent echocardiogram. Calcification! Yes! It’s yet another thing!

Because this community means a great deal to me, I wanted to address a few of these comments, especially those that have lauded me for my authenticity and unabashed willingness to “speak my truth.”

Here’s the skinny on why I write the way I do. As far as my “career” goes, I spent a lifetime writing bullshit for bullshit clients in my role as an advertising/marketing Associate Creative Director. (Bullshit title, by the way.)

As I was well paid for the tripe I was required to write, I’m not going to dis what was honest pay for an honest day’s work. Plus, I was excellent at my gig. I never became complacent or pumped out the same stale crap. Also, I had to contend with egomaniacal nitwits on a regular basis so you can bet I earned my salary

BUT, after you’ve spent years waxing rhapsodic about home warranties and HVAC services and pest control, and sexy stuff like that, you hit a wall big time. You come to a point where it is essential that you switch gears. If you’re a real writer, that is.

Of course, to be honest, I was compelled to switch gears when I was involuntarily separated from my job. Prior to that time, I had begun writing screenplays, too, so I was able to keep my creative fire stoked.

Now, I still work on my scripts, but I also write regularly on Medium. That in itself is a job. If you want to make it here, know that right off the bat. Unless of course, you’re just screwing around until the next opportunity presents itself.

I’m not in the best mood today as my husband has been dealing with health issues on top of battling chronic insomnia and life has become a shit show, so I’ll come right out and say that often, I don’t know what the hell I’m doing here. I read about writers who make $300 a month and more, a lot more, and I’m still raking in pennies. I wish I knew why. That is a sincere plea. If someone could give me a hint, I’d be eternally gratefully. Well, maybe “eternally,” is overstating things, but for a while, at least.

MEDIUM GODS, CAN YOU TELL ME WHY THAT IS? WHY I GET A TON OF READS AND NEW FANS DAILY YET I’M NOT MAKING ENOUGH TO COVER A WEEK’S WORTH OF GROCERIES?

But it’s not about the money. Oh hell yeah, it is. At this point, it is. But I digress. I’m supposed to be offering up sage advice instead of bitching about my lack of “real” success on this platform. So let’s go.

If you want to write content that people will actually read, you have to show yourself. That’s hard and I get it, but when you have the guts to expose You, warts and all, you’re going to find that people love warts. They fucking love them because everyone has them. Every single person on this planet is flawed, most of us, deeply so.

Your flaws are what makes you fascinating. Never forget that.

Regarding my job: Even though I’m not drawing a paycheck it’s a relief to no longer have to “fake it.” To no longer be required to present my work to clients with the same enthusiasm as if I were spitting up Doubloons. That’s one of the reasons my lack of recognition here stings: I’ve written several stories that were damned hard on a personal level. And I said some unflattering things about people close to me, especially my parents.

Would I have written these stories if they were still alive? I’d like to believe I would. I’d like to believe that my father, who would have made a beautiful writer, would understand. My mother was a tough nut. I think she’d get it, too. But of course, I’m speculating.

Writing about the “tough stuff” is something every scribe faces. No one here wants to intentionally hurt people, but if you want to dispel your demons, and I’ve had a brigade, you have to let them run free.

There’s no doubt that aging helps our truths bubble to the surface because the time for bullshit has long passed. If I leave something behind, I want it to be real. I want my words and my experience to resonate. The hell if I want people to remember me because I wrote a great mailer about vanquishing termites!

In all honesty, I have a leg up on many writers in that I wrote a screenplay that necessitated my vomiting up a huge chunk of the bad stuff that went on when I was growing up. Pun intended. I had to confront those particularly nasty demons and slap them upside their heads. AND kick the shit out of them. So I had a head start before coming here.

If I can do it, so can you. It might take you a while to get to the point where opening a vein is a regular deal, but you’ll get there. And it will be the most freeing feeling — even better than “dancing like no one is watching.”

Because in a sense, you will be watched. But you’ll no longer give a damn.

Sherry McGuinn is a slightly-twisted, longtime Chicago-area writer and award-winning screenwriter. Her work has appeared in The Chicago Tribune, Chicago Sun-Times, and numerous other publications. Sherry’s manager is currently pitching her newest screenplay, a drama with dark, comedic overtones and inspired by a true story.

Thank you for reading. I hope you’ll want more.