I’ve Never Received 1K Claps

Wounded…and wondering.

Disclaimer: The only reason I’m publishing this is to illustrate how quickly things can change when you don’t expect them to. I was feeling sorry for myself when I wrote the following bilge, so please, bear with me and all will be clear at the “finish line.”

Beginning of self-pitying rant:

I’m about to show you my soft, tender underbelly. This is probably as vulnerable as you’ll ever “see” me.

I’m hurt right now. Hurt and more than a little angry. As I was looking over my Medium stories I realized that not one of them has received one thousand claps. How can that be possible when I’ve received so many favorable comments and have garnered “fans” who I appreciate more than I can say?

I’ve come close to that number, but no cigar. Not yet, anyway. And it stings. More than I’d like to admit.

Now, before you tell me that “It’s not about claps, anymore” I’d like to point out that, regardless of the new algorithm, claps are an indicator that readers enjoy your stories. At least, the true readers as opposed to the trolls who are just looking for reciprocation.

Also, keep in mind that if claps were totally useless, if they were a waste of our already time-starved days, we’d all just…stop clapping.

This is a conundrum that I need to solve. I have no qualms about my ability as a writer. It is at the heart and soul of who I am. For over thirty years and counting. In fact, I made a good living at it. Or did, before I was laid off in 2018.

I feel joy when I write. A connection with people all over the world that I wouldn’t experience, otherwise. And I’m proud of what I’ve accomplished, thus far.

My bylined feature stories have appeared in the Chicago Sun-Times, the Chicago Tribune and countless other publications.

I’m a screenwriter, whose first short script was shot and directed in New York and was the recipient of the “Best Short” award at the Pan African Film Festival in Cannes and was one of only nine short films to screen at an event for the Screen Actors Guild.

And on and on, like that. I’ve been in the trenches a long time and have experienced exhilarating success, as well as rejection. So much rejection.

Awards are cool, sure, but I know that at the end of the day, they amount to zilch. What’s more important: Forging an emotional connection with readers. Letting them know that they’re not alone in their fears, uncertainties and all the other crap we routinely grapple with.

I’ve learned that vulnerability is not a bad thing. Quite the contrary. I’ve discovered that revealing who you really are doesn’t make you weak. Also, I’m not afraid, to tell the truth…respectfully.

Yes, I have an “edge” to me and possess what I think is a biting wit. Is that wrong, somehow? I always believed that laughter is a good thing. That laughter heals and helps us forget the travails of just trying to make it through. Know what I mean?

I respect this platform and the writers on it. I do my best to be engaging and give due diligence to as many stories as I can. But I refuse to read or comment appreciatively for crap. If I start reading a story and sense that it’s either going nowhere, or is terribly written, or the writer is full of themself, then I stop reading. Wouldn’t you?

I’m a team player. But I choose the team.

The Facebook groups have multiplied like bunnies and I spend as much time as possible on each one of them. But, like all of you, I have a life. I may not have a “real” job, but writing is work, and I have other writing commitments. And errands and chores and the like.

And sometimes, I just get tired and need a Netflix break.

If I devoted as much time to the “other stuff” as I do to Medium perhaps I’d be more successful. But I enjoy Medium and the majority of my fellow writers. I like being here and having the opportunity to engage with some really smart people. Individuals who are empathetic, kind and funny.

It’s odd, but Medium has changed over the year I’ve been on board. I’m not referring to the algorithm as much as the overall sensibility. People seemed to be more supportive of one another. Now, it sometimes feels like a pissing war. Who can get the most amount of drafts published in the least amount of time? Perhaps I’m overstating it because I’m feeling introspective and exposed. If so, take no offense, please.

Lately, I’ve tried to shut out the noise and focus more on my actual writing, but it’s difficult. I suppose I could turn off the alerts on my inbox but once again, I want to give other writers their due. As much as I can.

So yes, I am hurt, angry and also puzzled. I’ve been wracking my brain trying to unearth the mystery of why I’m not in a better place. Why I’ve not been sprinkled with Medium Magic Dust.

November marked my year anniversary and I’ve been curated all of five or six times. I try not to let that bother me, but it does leave me feeling somewhat deflated. But that said, I am a resilient sort and I bounce back. What else is there to do?

People are easily offended these days. By anything and everything. Perhaps I’ve offended someone here. Or a few people. Or several. If that’s the case, I’d like to know about it. Let’s have a conversation about it, for God’s sake.

However, I refuse to apologize for anything I’ve written here.

I have been vocal about those stories that I feel are offensive. The “money shots,” as I think of them. There are several stories that have documented writers’ earnings on Medium. And that’s cool. Inspiring, even. But if you’re going to toot your own horn, do it with class. Write a headline that doesn’t make the rest of us feel that you’re “King of the World.” Enough said about that.

Quitting isn’t an option for me at this point. I want to hang in as long as I can and see what transpires. One never knows — you know?

I want to finish by stating that normally, I wouldn’t piss and moan like this. I don’t like myself when I do. But I need to figure things out.

Can you help?

End of self-pitying rant.

And here’s why: As I was writing this, I took a break to check my stats and found out that I’d finally received 1K claps. On this story:

As I said, “one never knows” so hang in there, guys. AND, THANK YOU.

(I’d better write “The Hot Women of Medium,” posthaste.)

Sherry McGuinn is a slightly-twisted, longtime Chicago-area writer and award-winning screenwriter. Her work has appeared in The Chicago Tribune, Chicago Sun-Times and numerous other publications. Sherry’s manager is currently pitching her newest screenplay, a drama with dark, comedic overtones and inspired by a true story.

Thanks so much for reading. Would love your comments. Meanwhile, if you’re into it, take a look at the following:

And please check out the great writers in my pub, Rogues’ Gallery.