Yes, Married Sex is Boring

And it should be something we embrace.

It’s true. There’s no way around it. Married sex is boring.

Actually, sex in any long-term relationship or marriage has a tendency to get dull after several years. It’s just the natural progression of things.

This doesn’t mean that the sex in any given relationship necessarily always gets boring, of course — but it is a frequent occurrence.

Many people jump from relationship to relationship because the sex simply gets repetitive after many years with the same person. Quite often, people want something new, and sometimes grabbing a new partner to make sex shiny and new again can be a temporary — albeit dubious — solution.

However, the inevitability of sex becoming stale shouldn’t be something to fear or a deterrent to staying in a long-term relationship or getting married. It should be something we embrace.

Why?

Solutions never come from denying that there’s a problem or a challenge.

Acknowledging the existence of a slow or monotonous sex life is indeed awkward and uncomfortable but by no means does it reflect the value of a relationship as a whole.

Throwing out the relationship with the stale sex bathwater isn’t necessarily the wisest decision.

The idea of this fantastic, never-ending sex life in long-term relationships is really the biggest part of the problem. When we idealize the amount of sex or the level of adventurousness in our sex lives during a long-term relationship or marriage it can end up paralyzing everything else.

Yes, sex is vitally important in a relationship. But just like everything else we have to practice in relationships, such as communication, compassion, and patience, sometimes we have to put effort into the physical connection as well.

There are couples who deal with immense challenges as far as sexual interaction goes. Some couples are dealing with physical ailments, disabilities, or sexual trauma and they have to learn to manage those things in order to maintain an intimate, sexual connection.

It’s completely natural to wonder if there’s something wrong in your relationship because the sexual passion has dissipated.

If you're in a long-term relationship or marriage where the sex is consistently lousy and your partner doesn’t want to do or change anything in order to help remedy the situation, then that’s another story. The point is that it’s totally normal for a couple’s sex life to get boring.

Life gets boring. Work gets boring. Relationships get boring. So does sex.

The question is really if the sex slump phase that is bound to happen within a long-term relationship or marriage is worth throwing everything else away just because it’s difficult to talk about or deal with.

You decide.

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