ROMANCE AND RELATIONSHIPS

Yana and the Case of the Curious Crush Part 2

A Victor Investigates Special

At the natural pause for my initial investigation, I was accused by a friend of “not going anywhere” and of “wasting [my] time”. Well Robin, uh I mean, anonymous person-lady-who-shall-not-be-named, it just so happens that I narrowed the list considerably — after examining hundreds of posts and cross-referencing everything. I put in a lot of effort.

SORRY IF I’M BORING YOU WITH MY DEDICATION AND INTELLECT, ROBIN. Oh, that was odd. My caps lock seemed to be stuck and I can’t edit that last line.

When I was a professional investigator, my boss often compared me to Columbo. I learned much in that role, but the guidance that stuck was my partner’s statement ‘you won’t always have all the facts and will have to rely on your gut’. This was important advice because when investigating a case, we had to choose between immediate, 24-hour, and 72-hour responses. Someone’s life was potentially on the line.

We had to establish rapport and had to learn and gather information from fearful and hesitant sources in order to make a determination rapidly. The magistrate became my best friend, and he even almost learned how to pronounce my last name. I remember the magistrate well because he would always clean his ear with the eraser tip of a pencil.

An important question is — am I playing dumb or am I actually a bit of a rodeo clown? Robin’s pretty smart, so she may be on to something with her skepticism.

You won’t always have all the facts and will have to rely on your gut.

Just one more thing…

Things Got Hella Sus After Part One

Pockett dessert came out of nowhere and posted the following within a 20-minute interval. What does it mean, and when do I have my own “a ha” moment?

Yana Posted He Was Poetic and Married

The winnowing process was a lot of fun and I found some new and interesting people to follow. Hate tagging is one of the greatest crimes in the modern era, so I’ll spare nearly everyone.

Ruled out: Autistic Widower, Gill McCulloch (transcription error, but also a very cool First Aid trainer). Nikolaos Skordils (never married), Dan Reich (not writing poetic material), Habib Rehman (poetic, but not love stuff), Rajeeb Ghosh (I have no idea what this profile is about and at this point, I’m too afraid to ask), Scott-Ryan Abt (mostly music)

Ruled out (productivity bros AKA ProBros ): Andy Spears, Owen W., Goran Vinchi, Jordan Arthur, Daniel Serrano, Dr. Titus Varghese, Inda Raj Pathak, Kevin Alexander, Shane Berry, Maximecjunior, Shameem, Anwar Abhimanyu Bhagarva

I legitimately got some good productivity tips out of these fellas.

Pocket Dessert Stated He Had Posted Recently

This was my only recent clue, so I followed my intuition. Conducting an investigation without interviews is difficult. In my past investigational experience, people aren’t waiting around to be interviewed.

Ruled out: Nitin Dangwal, Aldric Chen (writing inactivity), Craig Davishoff (inactivity at the time of Yana’s post), Maximecjunior

Maybes/ need more evidence: David Conte, Jack Bohannan, Thomas Gadeaux, William J Spiridone, Scot Butwell, John Hansen, Fox Kerry

Top 7 Shortlist

Nour Boustani

Nour Boustani: Write to transform, write to inspire.

it’s most people on this planet who take the love, care, and attention of others for granted.

James Beaufait

James Beaufait: living and dreaming consciously, and communing with Mother Nature.

Before a word is spoken take a long deep breath, or two, pause and look into where your soul resides. Maybe it need not be expressed with words.

Joe Merkle

Joe Merkle: I write about love, life, loss, kindness, and gratitude.

The moment that would shape my future in the most amazing and unimaginable ways. We kissed. Both of us were not sure as you were still in a relationship, though it was failing. That moment in time will be forever imprinted in my brain. But, more importantly, it was the spark that reminded us, souls, that we are forever joined in love.

Kallol Mazumdar

Kallol Mazumdar: Looking for a lacklustre way to exist.

For our dangling parched hearts meet in seclusion, again, once alike

For the gentle kiss I waited for, you gave to me in delight

George Blue Kelly

George Blue Kelly: Stories from the shores of Sicily

Indeed, none is perfect. Anyone can hurt. And eventually, they do. Like life, love isn’t perfect. We reckon, therefore, that to find love and keep it, just like a rose, we must allow space for her thorns.

Harry Hogg

Harry Hogg: Now living between Colorado, Missouri, California. I write to be loved.

She strolls down Bridgeway, unaware that she is my diamond of tenderness, passing florists, sidewalk cafes, art shops, and just then…just then… with hair flying, she makes the curves of Tobermory look ordinary and uninteresting.”

Victor Cardenas

Victor Cardenas: Caption bae. Defender of almonds.

“We put our passion for community and relationships into every word we fondly type on this site, even when those words are about UX or Bitcoin. We need writer’s retreats. We need a convention. We need P.S. I Love You to be resurrected because love is the ultimate evergreen topic. We need that 275 gallon drum of lubricant enclosed in a steel cage that’s sold on Amazon.”

Above are my best guesses as to who is in the ballpark. Of course, I am still on the list. Otherwise, how can I make it about me? I notice that Nour, George, and myself all posted in the comments. When collecting facts and evidence, sometimes it’s best to gather ancillary information that is not directly in the purview of the investigation.

Yana posted scripture about truth and wrote something about her crush hitting it out of the ballpark. Then this:

Yana is playing it cool, but if there is no misdirection — we are left with Nour, George, and I. This sets the stage for a big reveal. The big niche down. Too euphemistic? It’s me, of course it’s too euphemistic.

Tell the people if I’m getting warm, Yana.

Special thank you:

The Sturg for assisting on the second leg of this investigation while also taking good care of his partner and minting “ProBro”. He’s basically Prometheus by giving this phrase to the people. Salamat po!

Grandma Smillew for suggesting that Coca boost. Holy shazbot! My writing output, heart rate, and blood pressure are the highest they’re ever been and this is the shortest month of the year and sure I’m a little twitchy, but who wouldn’t be, and I’m also feeling quite talkative!