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Abstract

iven from the heart.</p><p id="cdcd" type="7">-Victor Cardenas, poet & don’t even know it</p><p id="5fdd">Here’s the thing. Why be lonely alone when we can be lonely together? Two writers, sitting back-to-back typing away on their own work. Ignoring each other for hours on end, pausing only to discuss why it’s called “Unsplash”¹. Retreating into a quiet space to finish the perfect listicle, dropping 15 itemized nuggets of wisdom that would make Solomon himself blush while your partner starts in on a ‘This or That’ challenge in the next room.</p><h2 id="7653">Writers Are Courage-Challenged</h2><p id="dc83">Okay, perhaps it’s not fair to state that writers lack courage. It is fair, however, to state that writers prefer a venue of communication where they can carefully edit and select their words over long periods of time, as opposed to having the ability to just blurt them out. We spend lots of time away from others or barely interacting with them so that our self-editing is on point. We whittle our potential socialization hours down by working on our creative pursuits. Courage or no, intelligent and creative people enjoy one another’s company but often self-select writing over verbal communication.</p><p id="5a71">Good news, fellow writers. A champion has appeared. I can do both. This isn’t a humblebrag (<i>it is 100% a humblebrag</i>), it is a major award.</p><figure id="9ff4"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*pcZbxscxJBcIm5T4VPOm1Q.jpeg"><figcaption>Certificate by Ms. Probasco. Photo by author.</figcaption></figure><p id="7bdf">Clearly I have the documented ability to both write and speak well, so listen up. Writers often demonstrate an uncanny vulnerability that connects us with others. Despite some of our more isolative tendencies we display as artists and creators. Despite those quiet mornings and late nights. Even if we aren’t going out with friends every night, we are still connecting with others in an inscrutably magical way.</p><h2 id="e903">What To Do if You Have Feelings for A Writer</h2><p id="17d8">Go for it. Take that leap. Send that private note. Send that email. Buy that <a href="https://readmedium.com/i-formed-a-parasocial-relationship-with-a-bunch-of-medium-writers-2e560bd9684f">merkin, </a>put it on your head, and do a happy dance.</p><p id="e60e">These feelings are the byproducts of creative kinship and subsequent human connection that get us through the <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doppler_effect">Doppler Effect</a>, evidence of a near-infinite expansion into space. Inside all of that expanding are the relationships you get to have with people in the world.</p><p id="90eb">What’s the worst possible outcome? You might make that amazing and weird YouTube playlist together. You might create a hilarious ‘zine filled with ridiculous and silly in-jokes.</p><p id="a077">Yeah, your feelings might get hurt. You might even feel lonely at some point. But think positive — you’ll have more experiences you can use to turn into ideas for the content farm. More grist for the mill. Additional corn f

Options

or the silo. More milk for the squeezing. I’m not a farmer.</p><p id="883f">Coach Tony, we are a global community of writers. We put our passion for community and relationships into every word we fondly type on this site, even when those words are about UX or Bitcoin. We need writer’s retreats. We need a convention. We need <a href="https://psiloveyou.xyz/archive">P.S. I Love You</a> to be resurrected because love is the ultimate evergreen topic. We need that 275 gallon drum of lubricant enclosed in a steel cage that’s sold on Amazon.</p><p id="abd1">We need robust tools with which to foster romantic relationships and to connect with one another, even beyond romantic relationships. Just make sure you follow the <a href="https://policy.medium.com/medium-terms-of-service-9db0094a1e0f">Terms of Service</a>. Thanks for coming.</p><h2 id="4e78">Not-so-Secret Admiration for These Wordsmiths</h2><p id="fc1f">These beautiful, vulnerable, and incredible writers— <a href="undefined">Emily</a>, <a href="undefined">Yana</a>, and <a href="undefined">Smillew</a>. Each helped inspire my own thoughts on writer romance with their unique and imaginative voices. You each independently have beautiful brains. Below are some relevant works by each on this subject.</p><div id="ef00" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/i-am-falling-for-someone-on-medium-and-he-doesnt-even-know-it-2abb5dced75d"> <div> <div> <h2>I Am Falling For Someone on Medium and He Doesn’t Even Know It</h2> <div><h3>How can you fall for someone you’ve never met?</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*plrLImhT51nQ3iL4)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="14d0" class="link-block"> <a href="https://markemilee.medium.com/dear-secret-in-admirer-3fd3e3efd144"> <div> <div> <h2>Dear Secret Admirer</h2> <div><h3>Thank you for not being a secret anymore.</h3></div> <div><p>markemilee.medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*auVo_R71oRd4A6KM)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="8b2d" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/my-grandma-just-joined-medium-8b3aea20b5d2"> <div> <div> <h2>My Grandma Just Joined Medium!!!</h2> <div><h3>I’m so proud of her.</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*pY_cnhMCO5jAWWla-jKh3w.png)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><p id="8ca3">¹<i>Splash was taken</i></p></article></body>

ANIMALS AND NATURE

Now Kiss: Advice On Medium Writer Relationships

Stupid Sexy Sapiosexuals

Yeah, I saw “Shape of Water” too. Watching a movie doesn’t mean you have to jump into a lake and smooch it out for social media. Photo by Edward Eyer from Pexels

Now these are the kind of posts on Medium that I can get behind, or in front of, or wrap my hands around and squeeze a little. With your consent of course, and only if you’re into that sort of thing. Maybe the safe word should be “ILLUMINATION”.

A sapiosexual is one who is sexually attracted to or aroused by a person that is very intelligent. Sapiosexuals are not to be confused with sapiensexuals, which are probably a class of people that would get banned from their local zoo, anthropology museum, or primate research center.

A sapiosexual is a person who is sexually attracted to or aroused by a person that is very intelligent.

In Sapiosexual attraction, the person with the attraction considers intelligence a prime trait in a partner. Furthermore, intellectual pursuits are part of the emotional and physical bonding process. Writers tend to value intellect and hold in high esteem those who can communicate effectively and mix words and phrases together using the colorful palette that is language. The ability to write well is not a universal skill.

You’re most likely thinking about me after reading that definition (-sapio, not -sapien), but hold the private notes until you finish reading and deliver my well-deserved claps, please. We have more ground to cover and there will be plenty of time for canoodling later.

Being Alone Together

“Okay, did you get the photo? Now let go, so you and I can write about how in love we are.” Photo by Maria Orlova from Pexels

Writers, by their nature, can be a self-consumed lot. Writing itself can be a lonely and laborious venture. We let our children tear each other apart like a couple of rabid banshees while we try to punch up an already gorgeous string of words. We forget to take out the trash on the night before trash day, AKA trash eve. We take our pup Snickerdoodle out on a 25-minute walk instead of the full 45 minutes because the perfect relationship aphorism appeared in our mind’s eye. Speaking of perfection:

We eye the horizon and reach out to grasp the stars, but what we need most is close by —and freely given from the heart.

-Victor Cardenas, poet & don’t even know it

Here’s the thing. Why be lonely alone when we can be lonely together? Two writers, sitting back-to-back typing away on their own work. Ignoring each other for hours on end, pausing only to discuss why it’s called “Unsplash”¹. Retreating into a quiet space to finish the perfect listicle, dropping 15 itemized nuggets of wisdom that would make Solomon himself blush while your partner starts in on a ‘This or That’ challenge in the next room.

Writers Are Courage-Challenged

Okay, perhaps it’s not fair to state that writers lack courage. It is fair, however, to state that writers prefer a venue of communication where they can carefully edit and select their words over long periods of time, as opposed to having the ability to just blurt them out. We spend lots of time away from others or barely interacting with them so that our self-editing is on point. We whittle our potential socialization hours down by working on our creative pursuits. Courage or no, intelligent and creative people enjoy one another’s company but often self-select writing over verbal communication.

Good news, fellow writers. A champion has appeared. I can do both. This isn’t a humblebrag (it is 100% a humblebrag), it is a major award.

Certificate by Ms. Probasco. Photo by author.

Clearly I have the documented ability to both write and speak well, so listen up. Writers often demonstrate an uncanny vulnerability that connects us with others. Despite some of our more isolative tendencies we display as artists and creators. Despite those quiet mornings and late nights. Even if we aren’t going out with friends every night, we are still connecting with others in an inscrutably magical way.

What To Do if You Have Feelings for A Writer

Go for it. Take that leap. Send that private note. Send that email. Buy that merkin, put it on your head, and do a happy dance.

These feelings are the byproducts of creative kinship and subsequent human connection that get us through the Doppler Effect, evidence of a near-infinite expansion into space. Inside all of that expanding are the relationships you get to have with people in the world.

What’s the worst possible outcome? You might make that amazing and weird YouTube playlist together. You might create a hilarious ‘zine filled with ridiculous and silly in-jokes.

Yeah, your feelings might get hurt. You might even feel lonely at some point. But think positive — you’ll have more experiences you can use to turn into ideas for the content farm. More grist for the mill. Additional corn for the silo. More milk for the squeezing. I’m not a farmer.

Coach Tony, we are a global community of writers. We put our passion for community and relationships into every word we fondly type on this site, even when those words are about UX or Bitcoin. We need writer’s retreats. We need a convention. We need P.S. I Love You to be resurrected because love is the ultimate evergreen topic. We need that 275 gallon drum of lubricant enclosed in a steel cage that’s sold on Amazon.

We need robust tools with which to foster romantic relationships and to connect with one another, even beyond romantic relationships. Just make sure you follow the Terms of Service. Thanks for coming.

Not-so-Secret Admiration for These Wordsmiths

These beautiful, vulnerable, and incredible writers— Emily, Yana, and Smillew. Each helped inspire my own thoughts on writer romance with their unique and imaginative voices. You each independently have beautiful brains. Below are some relevant works by each on this subject.