Writers Stand Naked in Front of Readers Shielded by Nothing but Words

When I welcomed criticism, this is what I learned

I doubt I am the only person who feels exposed when writing, especially when the material is personal or sparks passion. So, when I read an article this week that suggested I be honest, hold nothing back and share my naked thoughts, I got a little panicky. I fear someone will disagree, tell me I am wrong, or just not be interested.

In an attempt to reassure myself, I restate mantras, “You can’t please everyone.” “Be open to criticism because it will make me stronger.” My esteem building chants are endless, but they keep me moving from one article to another always shielding me from disappointment.

However, I am questioning what would happen if I stripped off one protective layer and allowed me to be slightly more exposed. Would my writing be stronger? I don’t think I am ready for naked but maybe I can shed the winter coat, gloves, and hat.

My discovery

I started researching and investigating this matter and a discovery slapped me in the face. The posts with the most reads were those where I allowed myself to be vulnerable. I also discovered when people accepted and understood my message, most were quite kind.

My personal experience

Recently, I wrote an article titled, Youth Hold the Power to Change the Future; However, They Don’t Know It. On the page, it reads quite innocuous but shared thoughts I hold close to my heart and intensely believe.

As a career teacher, 34 years, I have witnessed many children experiencing emotional and physical pain. My suspicions, my experiences, my gut, tell me that societal changes impact human’s behaviors, I’m and life is more complicated than when I was a child.

The piece attempted to present a strategy to support youth. My proposal simply suggested modeling 5 values in all aspects of life: security, work ethic, discipline, respect, and education.

However, a reader’s response caught me off guard. Splattered with profanity, the response quoted numerous lines from my original text, highlighted them, and commented in an angry manner I had difficulty understanding. My words had created an unintended emotional response.

At first, I wanted to respond in a pointed manner that would not have reflected the values I hold as important. My immediate response would not have sounded educated, respectful, or disciplined. And on a platform where ideas are meant to be discussed, an inappropriate response would have eliminated the respondent’s security to share, as well as, stopped any future communication.

So this is what I did and what I learned

I slept on it and then wrote this response.

I suppose I was idealistic that society could work together to model 5 values to empower youth: security, work ethic, discipline, respect, and education.

When you cherry picked and misconstrued my comments to inspire such aggression, you missed my premise.

My examples are my life; I am not asking you to agree or disagree. I am not implying white, Christian and married is best, simply sharing my point of reference as a child. Bad things happened; I am not blind, but I was pointing out that many youths were shielded from harsh realities. Yes, I sometimes wonder if that was good, but know I also question the world kids grow up in today.

Finally, please don’t pretend to know me. I have worked in high poverty, culturally rich schools for 35 years. What I’ve seen and confronted, kids I’ve nurtured, protected, and care for were my inspiration for writing. I want to believe people can work together to make a place where kids feel safe and can achieve their dreams. However, some people continue to throw that dream in my face.

I was pleased to write a response that shared my motive for the article while enlightenment the reader to my point of view. In retrospect maybe I could have been less sarcastic, but considering the immediate negative emotions his response created, it was pleased with the result. I wanted to forcefully convey my message without provoking animosity.

I learned the value of standing up for what I believe.

The reader’s defamatory comments prompted me to doubt myself. I contemplated deleting my post wondering why I would submit myself to such ridicule. After writing my response, I felt proud that I stood up to a bully and advocated for positive actions.

My stern response emphasized the necessity to respect each other’s ideas while reinforcing even when we do not agree we can disagree with dignity.

Then I came upon a comment from a different reader’s response

I grew up in the 70’s also, but my family life was brushing against horrendous. Reading your essay made my day.

Yeah, that’s what life back then should have been like. I am so happy that you had for the most part, security and the feeling of being cared for. You have penned such a loving expression of that time. You shared the experience beautifully. xo

All someone like me can do, is to BE what I want. My experience has just make me a compassionate individual, because I have a very clear feeling that I am not alone with such a background, and ones in a similar state may need me someday.…..xo

Of course, I wrote her back and did not even have to wait until the next day. She understood.

After another night’s sleep, I woke with a realization. As writers, we have a responsibility to ourselves and our readers.

To ourselves we must be true:

• Write your reality with sincerity
• Share messages that are relevant and vital to your mission
• Take risks knowing everyone will not agree, but someone might benefit

To others be considerate:

• Recognize readers carry emotional baggage that may be triggered by your words
• Accept that words can be misunderstood or misconstrued
• Respect others’ opinions even when you do not agree. Sometimes a response is not needed but if for your peace of mind, it requires a rebuttal do it with kindness.

Writing on an open platform is a roller coaster of ups and downs, yet the rewards are numerous. I may not be able to stand naked before my audience as I still feel the need to keep information covered, but I am learning to bare a little skin and accept the sharp comments, the pain of rejection, and piercing remarks with grace. I imagine it will get easier with time because I am a writer.