Would You Recognize A Relationship Green Flag If You Saw One?
Red flags get all the attention, but green flags are just as important.
Red flags get all of the attention when it comes to relationships and abuse, especially when discussing narcissism, but it’s not enough to know what you don’t want.
You need to know what you do want to have in your life.
This could be the difference between running away from something versus running toward a goal.
Not All Running Is Equal
The intention behind the running makes all the difference.
When you are moving toward a goal you are wanting, the energy you put into it is more positive and has forward momentum. This is a hope based activity.
When you are running away from something, the energy is more negative and is either meant to stop or avoid. This is a fear based action.
Both are necessary for balance in your life. We can’t always run in one direction or we’ll go too far and bypass caution signs in the process if we try. If you can figure out a few green flags, yellow flags, and red flags for your ideal relationship then you will be on the right path.
It is easier to move in the direction we like. Relationships are enough work already, don’t add more than you need to.
Do you have a clear picture of what you are running toward?
Get Your Flag Items Down In Writing!
Have you ever sat down and written out what a green flag looks like to you?
How about yellow and red flags?
If you haven’t, how will you know what they are?
For a printable PDF version of the image above click here.
If you’ve never done it, this will be the perfect opportunity to start on that list. Print out this worksheet and start to fill in your flags.
You can use it to fill in flags for any type of relationship or big decision.
- a job
- a marriage/ bf/ gf
- a boss
- a coworker
- a friend
- a parent
- a sibling
- a new habit
- an old habit
- a therapist/ life coach
- church
- vehicle purchase
- college
- the list goes on…
Place yourself in the best possible scenario to get the things you want out of life.
Your Flags Are Personal To You And They May Change
It doesn’t matter if you have a green for something that another person puts down as yellow. They get to make those decisions for themselves and so do you.
As you evolve and grow, you may find your items move from one flag color to another. New items certainly get added over time.
I used to have over-spending in the yellow tab but now it has moved to a solid place in the red zone. Lying was always in the red, but now I have subcategories under it, with a few in the yellow zone.
I have one friend who says that any man with a name beginning with the letter J is a solid red flag.
To each their own!
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Narcissism Informed Trauma and Abuse Life Coach- for links to my life coaching services, you can find me at www.cpresleycoaching.com or email me at [email protected]
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