Hand the Baby Over to a Stranger!

Summary

In Peru, it is customary for passengers on public transportation to hand their infants to strangers for safety and convenience.

Abstract

The article describes a cultural norm in Peru where passengers on crowded public transport, such as combis, routinely hand their children to strangers to ensure their safety and comfort. This practice is part of a broader cultural approach to personal space and physical contact, which contrasts with the writer's experiences in other cultures. The author, whose mother is an international infant massage trainer, reflects on the surprise of witnessing such trust and communal care in public settings. The combi system, with its designated seating for vulnerable individuals and the role of the cobrador (ticket collector), exemplifies the collective mindset and adaptability of Peruvian public transport. The author appreciates the live narration provided by cobradores and acknowledges that while not everyone is comfortable with the level of physical contact, the experience has taught them that touch between strangers can be non-threatening and culturally relative.

Opinions

The author initially found the practice of handing infants to strangers on public transport surprising but came to appreciate it as a form of communal care.
The author expresses gratitude for the cobrador's role in ensuring the safety of passengers, including children, and likens their announcements to having a personal narrator.
There is an acknowledgment that physical contact in public, which is common in Peru, can be perceived differently across cultures, and what may seem invasive in one context is normal in another.
The author notes that while most people adapt to the close quarters and communal nature of combis, not everyone is comfortable with the level of physical contact, as evidenced by an elderly lady's reaction to being touched by a cobrador.
The author reflects on the concept of personal space as being more flexible and malleable in different social contexts, particularly in contrast to the United States where unintentional contact can be misinterpreted.

Hand the Baby Over to a Stranger!

In Peru, that´s the norm on public transportation. Personal space is cultural.

My mom is an international infant massage trainer. She “gets permission” from infants before massaging them by holding up her hands, asking if she can touch, and waiting for nonverbal consent. When I moved to Peru, I was surprised that people hand their infants to strangers in busses.

Before covid, I always traveled by combi. A combi is a van used for public transport, usually with lights and music blaring. Because drivers and cobradores (ticket collectors) get paid per person, you can forget about social distancing. The more the merrier.

There is one holy rule on combis. The first row of seats is reserved for people with disabilities, the elderly, pregnant women, or people holding infants or young children. Other than that, all bets are off.

If a person with a child can’t get a reserved seat, someone from that section offers to share the burden. The child is plopped down on the stranger’s lap while the parent stands, supported by the handlebars.

When people get off the bus, the cobrador bellows, “baja baja baja baja baja, sigue bajando…” meaning, “They’re getting off, they’re still getting off, don’t pull off yet.” Since the driver usually can’t see anything in a combi filled top to bottom, the cobrador is the eyes and ears of the operation.

When a passenger gets off while holding a child, the cobrador shouts, “baja con bebé, baja baja baja” which means, “Someone is getting off while holding a baby…wait!”

I kind of like it. It’s like having a live narration to your every move, your own Peru-style Paparazzi. I am thankful that they only stick to the relevant descriptions. It would be mortifying to have the soundtrack, “Young woman with a big zit on their nose getting off…. Wait, wait!!”

Sometimes there are so many people in the combi that you literally have to squeeze your way to the door. In those cases, normally parents let the children go first. Their little bodies find crevices more easily.

Often, the cobrador lifts the child through the air over the busy curb and plunks them on the sidewalk while the parent forces their way out behind them. The first time I saw this, I panicked. This child was literally handed to a stranger and placed down on the busy street without their parent. My social work heart had a moment. But that is normal here.

However, not that everyone goes with the flow. One time when the cobrador was helping an elderly lady get down from the van, she shrieked, “Get your dirty hands off me!”

What I learned in my combi travels is that touch between strangers is not necessarily bad. In cultures where personal space means strangers sit on your lap, sometimes you don’t have to get alarmed if someone brushes against you by accident, leans into you on the bus, or hands off your baby.

People always bump into me on the streets in Lima. It’s just part of life. In the States, bumping into someone “fighting words.” In some social contexts, your “personal bubble” is very malleable and open to shape-changing.

Thank you for reading!

-MJ

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