Worst Case Tripping

A poem-notes to self on unexamined worst-case tripping

for ego-mind, there is always a worst-case

a no-entry zone

a particular behavior to be avoided

a response to be avoided

or fight for the worst-case to not occur

but such a fight is driven by the same fear

whether we see it or not

so we are under this pressure of avoidance

if not it will threaten: You will become less confident You will lose your inspiration You will lose your motivation You will fall into despair You will feel frustrated

as if there is some sort of a rule

that certain thing shouldn’t happen

or that if such and such happens

then I must suck up in misery

and so we please the bully at any cost

maybe it threatens to avoid a panic attack

maybe it is a possible failure

maybe my stupidity might be exposed

and if not avoided — I am finished!

but does it have to be so

just because we put up with it — the blackmailing bully in the head

what if there is no ideal anything

but to live out as it happens for us

after all, it could be our unexamined conditioning

and not any real rule

not that such tendencies stop happening

but the ability to notice them without fully being enslaved by it

is a freedom worth taking back from our bully.

“How strange that we should ordinarily feel compelled to hide our wounds when we are all wounded! Community requires the ability to expose our wounds and weaknesses to our fellow creatures. It also requires the ability to be affected by the wounds of others… But even more important is the love that arises among us when we share, both ways, our woundedness.”― M. Scott Peck