Free AI web copilot to create summaries, insights and extended knowledge, download it at here

Abstract

use.</p><p id="1060"><b>But also, a law office will have a copy of this document.</b></p><p id="2a6f"><i>This is a more secure form of protection for a stay-at-home mother.</i></p><p id="5aa2">You do not want an online document that a spouse can dispose of during a divorce. Or sneak into your house (believe me it happens) and take it during a divorce. You don’t want to give an online copy to someone who can’t locate it during your divorce.</p><p id="b4f8"><b>You don’t want a document that can be challenged in any way either.</b></p><p id="f612"><i>You want one that has been professionally created and notarized.</i></p><p id="961f">You want an agreement that abides by all of your state laws.</p><p id="df08">A post-nuptial agreement must be signed by both spouses.</p><p id="421c">And it must be done voluntarily which is another reason it’s a good idea to hire an attorney to create this document. Even in that instance, a spouse may later claim they didn’t want to sign the document. But it helps reinforce this was a joint agreement.</p><p id="be62"><b>I tell women if they lack self-protective instincts, think of their children.</b></p><p id="c1f9"><i>No one would have convinced me I would have to fight to protect my children.</i></p><p id="6053">Not to mention, protect them from their own father.</p><p id="b9a4">I would be sitting in a kitchen with no food to feed my boys.</p><p id="87db">Because I made a joint decision with my husband to be a stay-at-home mother. A good old Catholic schoolboy with no conscience. And when I got over that realization, I thought society and the divorce system would recognize my contribution.</p><p id="268f"><b>They didn’t.</b></p><p id="09ed">I was someone who gave my power and financial independence away.</p><p id="28ed">Society said what society believes about divorcing stay-at-home mothers.</p><p id="bc51">They haven’t contributed, they are lazy, they want too much, they are taking advantage of a man, they should stand on their own two feet, and they don’t deserve much.</p><p id="7a60"><b>Women trust their husbands when they become stay-at-home mothers.</b></p><p id="2c39"><i>But it’s irresponsible to not do this…to protect yourself.</i></p><p id="2027">Women we need to wake up.</p><p id="1be5"><b><i>If you would like to read more of my stories and support me as a writer, </i></b><i>consider signing up to <a href="https://colleenorme.medium.com/membership">become a Medium member.</a> For just $5 a month, you will get unlimited access to Medium.</i></p><div id="998a" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/i-was-a-stay-at-home-mom-56a120979999"> <div> <div> <h2>I Was a Stay at Home Mom</h2> <div><h3>How my greatest luxury became my greatest liability</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*wxWEabtPJpVz9L-IAGfJiA.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="0f1c" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.co

Options

m/i-lost-everything-i-owned-95a761783bb9"> <div> <div> <h2>I Lost Everything I Owned</h2> <div><h3>But this is what made me cry like a baby</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*hTQ_tomgPUEQdXcyYe1c1A.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="56c2" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/how-stay-at-home-mothers-survive-this-detrimental-divorce-label-eb873f1f7649"> <div> <div> <h2>How ‘Stay-at-Home’ Mothers Survive This Detrimental Divorce Label</h2> <div><h3>When a man demands sacrifice — then leaves you with nothing</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*VFXkk0MifnzqAIgM381SzA.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="b3b8" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/kevin-costners-divorce-is-proof-society-doesn-t-value-stay-at-home-mothers-202851b01507"> <div> <div> <h2>Kevin Costner’s Divorce Is Proof Society Doesn’t Value Stay-At-Home Mothers</h2> <div><h3>Costner upholds prenup despite 3 children and decades together</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*7hwr2o96Fgonssl5y245pQ.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="df4b" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/my-divorce-as-a-stay-at-home-mom-felt-like-a-celebrity-comeback-5f24ccb59882"> <div> <div> <h2>My Divorce as a Stay-At-Home Mom Felt Like a Celebrity Comeback</h2> <div><h3>Like I am fighting to be relevant again</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*1yA4mfmYwJ8zyl2-jv7IcQ.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="e309" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/how-to-be-good-to-yourself-not-hard-on-yourself-during-divorce-2b175d455985"> <div> <div> <h2>How to Be Good to Yourself, Not Hard on Yourself During Divorce</h2> <div><h3>3 steps to forgiving and loving yourself again</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*N64pXaemrTLmOV2ZIpAvoA.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div></article></body>

Women Trust Their Husbands When They Decide to Be Stay-at-Home Mothers

But it’s irresponsible to not DO this…to protect yourself

I just had a conversation with someone who swore their spouse would never mistreat them in a divorce. If I closed my eyes, it was like listening to myself ten years ago on repeat.

What’s that expression?

Never say never.

My college sweetheart, my best friend, and the guy I met at Catholic college took me to the cleaners. Worse, he used my moniker as a stay-at-home mother as a get-out-of-jail-free card.

He took all of our savings and retirement without even a tinge of Catholic guilt.

Marriage can make us women trustingly fall asleep.

I am every woman’s wake-up call!

It is irresponsible for a woman, any woman, to become a stay-at-home mother without protecting herself. A verbal agreement between two (then happily) married people will mean nothing in the future.

I wish someone had said that to me.

I wish someone had told me I was being irresponsible. That’s a word I would not have ignored. I wish someone had pragmatically explained to me that I was making myself financially vulnerable and I needed to protect myself.

Women should immediately do one thing if they become stay-at-home moms.

They need to draw up a post-nuptial agreement.

A post-nuptial agreement is exactly what it sounds like.

It’s an agreement created once you are married.

In this legal document, you should explain the terms of your agreement to become a stay-at-home mother. It should state that you have made a joint decision for you to stay at home and raise your children.

This agreement will contain monetary details.

It will reinforce that you’re sacrificing your own professional career.

This seems like a given when you become a stay-at-home mother. But it’s not. If you end up getting a divorce, there will be no mention of the fact that you surrendered your own hopes and dreams, and job pursuits.

There will be zero compensation for that.

It’s not taken into consideration in a divorce.

You’ll be seen as an individual who didn’t financially contribute to the marriage.

To best protect yourself, do not create a post-nuptial agreement online. Again, this is about self-protection and boundaries. This document should be created by a lawyer to best protect yourself.

A lawyer can ask the questions that best serve both you and your spouse.

But also, a law office will have a copy of this document.

This is a more secure form of protection for a stay-at-home mother.

You do not want an online document that a spouse can dispose of during a divorce. Or sneak into your house (believe me it happens) and take it during a divorce. You don’t want to give an online copy to someone who can’t locate it during your divorce.

You don’t want a document that can be challenged in any way either.

You want one that has been professionally created and notarized.

You want an agreement that abides by all of your state laws.

A post-nuptial agreement must be signed by both spouses.

And it must be done voluntarily which is another reason it’s a good idea to hire an attorney to create this document. Even in that instance, a spouse may later claim they didn’t want to sign the document. But it helps reinforce this was a joint agreement.

I tell women if they lack self-protective instincts, think of their children.

No one would have convinced me I would have to fight to protect my children.

Not to mention, protect them from their own father.

I would be sitting in a kitchen with no food to feed my boys.

Because I made a joint decision with my husband to be a stay-at-home mother. A good old Catholic schoolboy with no conscience. And when I got over that realization, I thought society and the divorce system would recognize my contribution.

They didn’t.

I was someone who gave my power and financial independence away.

Society said what society believes about divorcing stay-at-home mothers.

They haven’t contributed, they are lazy, they want too much, they are taking advantage of a man, they should stand on their own two feet, and they don’t deserve much.

Women trust their husbands when they become stay-at-home mothers.

But it’s irresponsible to not do this…to protect yourself.

Women we need to wake up.

If you would like to read more of my stories and support me as a writer, consider signing up to become a Medium member. For just $5 a month, you will get unlimited access to Medium.