Women, Please, Stop Making These Mistakes in Bed

2. Faking an orgasm

Maybe we never had someone to talk to and give us some good advice on how things work in the bedroom. Or perhaps porn was the only sex education we ever received. Whatever the case might be, not all women know exactly what to do in bed, or their natural wisdom has been repressed by years of being exposed to the wrong information.

Luckily, awareness is the first step to fix any issue, provided we are willing to learn and communicate with the people in our lives…and our beds.

To begin, here’s a list of the most common mistakes women make in bed:

1. Not moving

Unless it is part of a game in which your partner challenges you to stay still when your body wants nothing but to squirm, being a corpse during sex can be a serious turn-off.

For starters, it will make your partner’s mind race ahead with a ton of questions: Is she enjoying this? Am I doing something wrong? Does she really want this? What is happening?

Unless you are masturbating, sex shouldn’t be a solo sport. It is not your partner’s sole responsibility to bring you to orgasm. You are free to reposition your body in the way that most appeals to you or trash around if that’s what pleasure dictates to you.

Trust me; your partner will not think you are “too eager”; quite the opposite, watching and feeling your arousal is one of the most powerful aphrodisiacs.

2. Faking an orgasm

This is probably the oldest one and is rooted in the message women receive from a very young age, particularly in heterosexual relationships: Protect a man’s ego at all costs.

Sure enough, many women still believe it is their job to make their man feel like a god in bed. They will deliver an Oscar-worthy performance built on moans, whimpers, and screams.

The result is their partners remain oblivious to the fact that not everything is going well; therefore, they have no motivation to make any improvements. Unless we are honest with them, we will deprive ourselves of having the necessary conversations to make sure everybody gets all of the orgasms they deserve, which leads us to the next point.

3. Not asking for what you want and allowing what you don’t

When your partner is sucking on your clit, don’t you sometimes wish they would also devote some time to your labia? Perhaps you feel your breasts are not getting the attention they deserve. Or maybe you think your feet require some worshipping.

Does your partner know this? Have you communicated your needs and your wildest dreams? If you don’t ask, you will never know whether or not they would be up for it.

On the other hand, perhaps you hate doggy style: your knees get all sore, you feel absolutely nothing, and you end up having problems sitting all week long. Still, whenever your partner asks for it, you indulge and never let him know how uncomfortable it is for you. After a while, sex becomes this dreadful task you want to get over with.

Often, we complain about not being satisfied in bed. However, if we are not informing the people on the other side of the equation that things are not going okay, how will they ever learn the best way to keep us happy?

If, after repeatedly communicating your needs and wants, your partner keeps ignoring you, then you might have an even deeper problem in your relationship.

4. Assuming your partner is a sex machine

Especially when it comes to heterosexual relationships, some women still think a man must always be ready for sex: hard in an instant, and prepared to pounce the minute the opportunity arises, no matter what else is going on in their lives.

Heads up: Men are not machines, and their penises are not at our disposal to ride whenever we feel entitled to it.

Just as it is a mistake to fake sexual pleasure to preserve a man’s ego, it is equally bad to go to the other side of the spectrum and completely ignore his feelings. Men also want to feel desired and appreciated, even if it is outside the bedroom. Letting your partner know you crave to be with him and embracing his vulnerability is a necessary step to build intimacy.

Everybody wins when we speak up

I believe many of these mistakes have their origin in women being denied agency over their sexual pleasure. For so long, we were told it was a man’s job to make us come. However, as part of our sexual evolution, it is important to learn to convey and affirm our desires.

Even if it turns out our playmate is not willing to listen, then we know they are not the right person for us. In the end, when we communicate with our partners, we all grow together and improve our mutual sex lives.