Women Aren’t the Only Ones Evolving from Slaves to Masters, Men Are on the Block Too

Spoiler alert! Traditional gender roles turn us into slaves.

Whenever I hear men fuzz about women losing their morals and ditching everything that makes us “ideal women,” I roll my eyes. I’m like, “Yeah, we are and so are you dudes.”

Let’s face it, men and women are not what they used to be. Nowadays, no man wants to take a bullet for a woman or be shamed for getting rejected, but our ancestors proudly died in honor of protecting women.

In Iran, women are brutally killed to protect men’s honor. And the worst part is the killer is usually their father, husband, or brother — close relatives who should be protecting them.

I wrote a piece about “men not chasing women” anymore. And 60 percent of men who commented on the story fessed up that they no longer chase women because they don’t want to be rejected. Before, men took pride in rejection. It was like a manly boost and they didn’t give up easily when the woman says “no.”

In fact, in the old days, when a woman rejects a man’s advances, he takes her “no” to mean there is something he doesn’t have and he will work on getting that in order to win her.

One of the male commenters agreed that it’s true men did obsessively pursue women back in the day, but it was because they would turn their women into slaves after they married them and women were proud to be the slaves.

Women honored their role as housewives. They stayed home to care for their children and husband and did everything their husbands said without objections.

But now, modern women are saying, “Don’t turn us into your slaves. Make us your equal and be the same sweet gentleman you were when you were courting us.”

Is that too much to ask?

Sure, it is for modern men. They don’t want to be equal with women. And you are not an ideal woman unless you are enslaved at their feet and contribute to bringing home the bacon.

So as much as women have changed over the years, men have changed too.

But in spite of all the changes, we are still headed down the destructive path, which could explain why most men and women are approaching their dating lifeline.

You see, most qualities we seek in a partner are far-fetched. We are strung up on our expectations of the person.

And when men don’t live up to these expectations, we think they are weak and emotionally immature. As for the women, we think they’ve lost their moral values.

Our expectations of a partner are ridiculously unattractive

I have done some matchmaking over the years, and I have learned that the average woman has a standard of what men should look like, which is not exactly how men are.

The preconceived idea of what men should be makes women’s expectations unachievable because men are wired differently.

Men are not sensitive and girly like we are and won’t understand our emotions or communicate as much as our female friends can.

We think they are insensitive and heartless when they don’t behave the way we want them to.

The average woman wants her man to be her best friend. Someone she can talk to about everything.

She wants him to be able to read her mind and know what she wants or doesn’t want at a particular time.

She wants a package that consists of good looks, humor, stability, patience, trust, and above all, he has to be loyal.

Women’s ideal version of a “real man” is that he must have sufficient financial resources, connections, and problem-solving skills.

Women expect men to be perfect, but the problem is they’re not perfect — no one is.

I can understand having a prerequisite for dating. You should have high expectations of the other person in a relationship because you’re considering spending the rest of your life with that person.

But we should be reasonable with our expectations. What you expect from your partner or would-be partner, should be something you can give in return.

And it’s not just women who have unrealistic expectations. Men, also have their own image of the ideal wife or girlfriend.

We have to admit the expectations that each of us has of the other gender are pretty high.

We all want the perfect partner who will climb the mountain and cross the sea to meet our demands, but are we going to be that version of what we seek?

Acknowledge that your life will never be perfect. Your relationship will never be perfect. Nothing will ever be perfect if you continue to hold on to a version of perfection in your heart.

High expectations ruining modern relationships

As much as we want to deny it, a woman’s version of an ideal partner is a man who earns six figures, drives a fancy car, and breaks headboards, all while tending to their emotional needs and never looking too soft or vulnerable.

While men expect a real woman to be submissive, calm and unquestioning, and make sure her husband is fed and relaxed without hurting his ego.

The responsibility of being a sole provider is overwhelming to men. And rightly so. Because times are really rough. So they won’t date or marry dependent women.

But after a tough day, they come home to their wives, who are readily available to attend to their needs. He sticks only to the role of providing while the wife is expected to provide and still play her role of a good ‘housewife.’

The expectation that women should be smart but keep it in check, so their husbands don’t feel belittled. They should attain education but shouldn’t go so far that potential suitors feel intimidated.

They should be independent but not too much so the men in their life don’t feel emancipated.

The burden of caring for the children falls on women with little to no help while working tirelessly, serving and honeypotting their husbands with smiles and sex.

These are unrealistic expectations. Society’s expectations of modern men and women are unrealistic because no one can be all that perfectly endowed.

Also, trying to live up to such unrealistic expectations (and encouraging men to demand them) will make women try to be a different version of themselves, which doesn’t work well for anyone, ever.

What’s the way forward?

There is a lot of difference in the way men and women approach things in relationships.

When two individuals come together to build a relationship, their own set of expectations and beliefs often drive the relationship apart.

While some of them motivate you to achieve bigger things in life, some may even put you in a tight spot.

In many cases where relationships turn sour, unreasonable expectations turn out to be the real evil.

The attributes that you present to a potential partner should be attributes that reflect who you are. You should find a man who matches your requirements in character and values.

His expectations should focus on things like lifestyle, goals, and vision rather than physical appearance.

It’s okay to have high expectations, but at least make them achievable.

Some will agree that the best way to build a strong and healthy relationship is to expect nothing and appreciate everything.

This might seem quite tough to follow. However, no relationship is without sacrifice. The couple must be willing to compromise in order to fit into each other’s lives.

Try to give each other some breathing space, as happiness in relationships exists when there are fewer expectations.

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