The Witchy One | Community Engagement | Interviews

Witchy Interviews Mary V on Mortified Mouse Magicians, Geode Drunk-Trippers, and Scotchgard™ for Livestock

Huh?! This, I’ve gotta see!

Note from Liberty:

Hello, and Happy Sunday!

As you may (or may not) know, our little blue witch friend is conducting interviews of our beloved Pub Family members. Today, Witchy shares her interview with Mary V. Aside from being a gifted writer who shares her wit and wisdom on Medium, Mary is also a successful businesswoman and published author.

Enjoy learning more about this hilarious, warm and exceptionally imaginative member of our Pub Family!

As Witchy doesn’t have her own Medium account, she is using mine.

1 — What do you love about writing?

When I’m in the zone, my writing flows. Nothing feels finer than when the right words transfer seamlessly from my head and heart to the paper! Well, to be precise, they flow to my screen — my handwriting worsens when ideas come fast and furious. I would be stellar with writing paper prescriptions (Rx) — they would be spectacularly illegible and thereby medically official.🏥

But back to writing: it’s the most empowering way to unpack the emotions, thoughts, and dreams within. It allows me to sort through and find meaning with what’s happened so far and to figure out where to head next. It reveals feisty, soulful, and playful facets that make me who I am. So I guess writing is a true expression of myself 🙆🏻‍♀️

Yet there are days where writing anything for public consumption is near impossible. I have snippets and drafts and post-its stuffed in a folder (but not in any particular order) for future stories. While I present as highly organized, I am secretly (well, not anymore now) very disorganized with content planning 😜

I tend to land on a topic, based on my mood and what I feel compelled to share. My Medium stories are usually less than five minutes. The one time I went long with planning was when I published my first book, PopUpPurge™, which unpacks the emotions wrapped around our things so we can release what we don’t need. I used physical decluttering as a metaphor for uncovering clarity with shifting into a new life chapter. And truly, seeking clarity is woven into everything I write. Word-smithing makes me feel fully alive, especially when I express myself using my second language: emojis 🤣

Witchy: I love reading what you write because it is always fun and playful! And I really love fun and playful!

Your book sounds very important! And like something that could have helped me when I packed up my cauldron, my toothbrush, and my stamp collection and left the Transylvania Forest. Everyone had been so awful to me…I lost everything and had to start over. I wish I’d had your book then!

I also love your second language! You are very good at speaking emoji. 🤓 I am still learning. I am pretty good at English now but I am not fluent at emoji like you are. Hmm, I wonder if there is a school for that.🤔

2 — Would you rather have a disease that makes you say every thought that crosses your mind, or one that makes you react inappropriately to all the interactions that happen to you and around you? 🙃

Gosh, are you sure these aren’t one and the same?! Both fairly inappropriate so I’m not sure there’s a good answer here 🙃 Well, probably the saying of thoughts out loud then. What’s the worst that can happen? I’ll end up talking to myself, most likely. Great way to clear the room (but definitely not a recommended way to clear the air).

Witchy: Lucky you! You get to talk to yourself anytime you want! I would love to talk to yourself. A lot. I mean, have you met you? 😍

3 — What songs make you just have to sing along?

Ahh, lots of tunes! Some also make me wanna dance: “Y.M.C.A.” by The Village People, “Sweet Dreams” and “Would I Lie to You” by Eurythmics, or “Love Will Keep Us Together”, covered by Captain & Tennille. I’ll also join in on soulful songs like “Me and Bobby McGee” by Janis Joplin, or “California Dreamin” by The Mamas & The Papas. Oh, oh, and also “The Lion Sleeps Tonight” by The Tokens. Too many others to mention and yeah, mostly Oldies But Goodies like me!😎

The key is to turn up the music so my voice blends in. You know how they say someone has a face made for radio? I have a singing voice made for writing…if you get my drift.😉

Witchy: 🤭 Oh, dear! I guess you can’t be good at everything. 🤷🏻 The most important thing is to have fun when you sing. Well, unless you are making people listen to it. 😖 Then you might want to turn off the microphone and turn up the music.🤫 🙄

4 — What would you do if you could make yourself be completely invisible whenever you want?

Ohh, how cool would this be! For one thing, I’d do this when I go to the shops. I’m a little Greta Garbo- like: “I ‘vant’ to be left alone” when I’m browsing. If I need help, I’ll ask! I could also finally catch who is tip-toeing into the kitchen to munch on cookies in the middle of the night! That trail of crumbs on the counter, who is it?? It’s just my husband, myself, and two little dogs under the roof. My dogs are too little to reach the counter and My Beloved says it’s not him so it’s such a mystery 🍪🍪🍪

But best of all, it would also be mighty handy on bad hair days. I sport a high pompadour which doesn’t hold up in humidity or after a good night’s sleep, ha-ha! Hats could then be optional when I’m out and about, running errands with full-on bedhead.

Witchy: Oh, boy! I wonder who is eating cookies and leaving crumbs in your house! Do you think it is a ghost? 👻 Oh, dear, that would be scary! I hope it is not a ghost. 😰 Oh, wait! It’s a mystery! Maybe you could be on that show, Unsolved Mysteries! Maybe you could be a TV star! Ooo, maybe even a movie star! And live in a big house in Hollywood and eat tiny pretty food and wear sunglasses 😎 and be in magazines! How exciting! You might even get to meet Simon Cowell! Oh, I love Simon Cowell! 😍 He makes me swoon. He is my boyfriend.❤️ Isn’t that wonderful? Liberty says I should tell him sometime. Oh! If you’re going to be a movie star, could I have your autograph? Oh, boy, I would love your autograph! And maybe you could —

Liberty: Witchy!

Witchy: Huh?

Liberty: Breathe!

Witchy: 🤐

5 — You are a rock. What do you look like? Where are you? How big are you, and what do you think about all day?

I’m a geode, about the size of a kiwi. You’ll find me at the mouth of a cave, near the top of a grassy hillside. My exterior is roughly pebbled and blends in with the surrounding rock. But if you look closely, there are parts of me chiseled away, revealing a glittering crystal interior of clear quartz.

I’m fairly quiet, gazing down at the valley. I like to observe the town folk moving about because they’re a good-natured, hard working lot. Well, except for the local drunk. He’s a nuisance, relying on the rest to prop him up when he’s had one too many at the pub🍻 Sometimes he staggers near me on his way to the fields where his sheep graze. When he pauses to tip his head back for another swig, I roll onto the path ahead of him. He trips, tumbles and drops his bottle. It’s my way of knocking some sense into him. It takes a village, you know! 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦👩‍👩‍👦

Witchy: Ohhh, you would be beautiful! And crystally and shiny on the inside (you always sparkle on the outside). I think that silly drunk man is lucky to have a rock who cares about him enough to trip him.

6 — Do you think fish get cramps after they eat?

Only when they leave the dinner table and immediately propel themselves out of the water to catch flies. Which is why their mamas tell them to wait 20 minutes after eating before surfacing for dessert. Those oxygen gulps can bring on the swirlies!🤢

Witchy: 😳 I would not want the swirlies! 🤢 I am terrified to try swimming so I guess I do not have to worry about it.

7 — Why can’t you get wool or leather wet but sheep and cows can stand in the rain for much of their lives?

Cha! Doncha know? The farmers spray them with Scotchgard™! However, this process can’t happen until they are a year old, which is why the babies bawl so much. Their coats are prone to shrinkage in the rain. They can’t drink as much milk from their mamas, until they stretch out again, so they get a tad hangry. The farmers keep them in little livestock cages to ensure they stay as dry as possible 🐑🐄

Witchy: Ohhh! I had not heard of Scotchgard™. That little ™ is so cute but I have never seen it in the alphabet before. Hmm. I will ask Liberty how to pronounce it.

It is too bad there is not something to spray on babies to keep them from bawling and getting hangry. It is not fun to stay stuck in a cage. I am sure they want to run and play with the other kids!

8 — What kind of secret club would you start?

Well, if I told you, how secret would it be then, hmmm?🤐 But tell you what, when it’s formed, you can be the first honorary member, Little Blue 🧙🏻‍♀️💙

Witchy: I love it when you call me Little Blue or Li’l Blue! It always makes me happy to see it. Liberty told me those are “nicknames.” But I was confused. You did not call me Nick. Oh, dear! That would be a bad name here in England because “nick” means “steal.”

Wait! Now I am more confused because in England, it also means the condition of something. Like, “It’s in good nick.” If you call me a nickname does that mean I am in good condition? Or someone stole me? Or I stole something? Or my name is actually Nick? Or I have a chunk missing?

I do not steal or nick things, and I try very hard not to nick them in the other way where you take a chunk out of something.

Although when my spells went wonky, I did a lot more than nick things in the chunk-removal way, not the stealing way.

Well, I am happy to be Little Blue.🧙🏻‍♀️💙 I do not think I want to be Nick. Or nicked. Or the other kind of nicked. And oh, goodie! I get to be a member of your secret club! Thank you! That will be so much fun! Hmm, I wonder what we will do in your secret club! Will you be able to tell me? And will you be able to tell me when I am a member? Or will those be secrets, too?

Oh, dear, what if you make your club so secret that even you do not know about it? Hmm. I am perplexed. But how exciting to be perplexed! I learned that word yesterday and now I have a chance to use it! I am getting smarter. 🤓 Yay!

9 — Marvin Mouse is a magician. He’s having a bad day. What’s gone wrong and what’s the result?

Marvin the Magnificent is renowned for his high wire act which involves a block of Swiss cheese, a marble tray, a stout wooden pole, and his scarlet satin cape (He secretly stashes a sharp knife in his pocket). He slowly struts back and forth beneath a razor thin wire, stretched 5 feet high above a birdbath. One paw holds the wooden pole aloft, which is balancing the cheese platter. With his other paw, he doffs his black silk top hat to the assembly of young mice. It’s a field trip for the student mice and they are squeaking with excitement to witness his next act.

He intones with a deep voice, “Greetings and salutations, my miniature Mouseketeers! And now, for something completely different! You are about to witness the one-and-only Marvin the Magnificent perform a death-defying, logic-bending, never-before-seen, stupendous finale!”

The mini mice squirm in their seats, beady eyes bright and whiskers twitching.

Marvin continues. “I present to you, The One…The Only…The Slicing of the Swiss…while in Midair!”

A collective gasp emenates from the grandstand, followed by chanting, “Mar-vin! Mar-vin! Mar-vin!” With each word, their squeals grew louder.

Then Marvin holds up one paw. The crowd falls silent.

He saunters over to kiss his wife’s cheek, before clambering up the ladder to the high wire. Miranda Mouse leans in to whisper in his fuzzy ear, “Dear, are you sure? All those lentils you had for lunch — is your tummy ok?”

Marvin frowns and brushed her away. “Nonsense! I am the Magnificent! I am in control!”

Miranda blushes. “Of course, my dear, of course! Forgive me!”

She scoots over to the grand piano and begin plinking a marching song as he saunters to the ladder. Still gripping the pole with the cheese platter on top, he scales rung after rung. At the top of the platform, he gazes across the thin steel wire. He inches across, one foot at a time, making his way to the middle. Then he gazes at the audience.

“Behold! At the count of 3, I shall swirl my sumptuous magic cape around the cheese. When I drop the cape, you shall see the cheese is sliced!”

The crowd inhales audibly.

Marvin twirls his cape. At the same time, his tummy churns. He blinks. He grimaces. He clenches. But to no avail.

Marvin cuts the cheese! 💨

Mortified, he teeters on the wire and loses his balance. Marvin tumbles into the birdbath below.

Silence.

Miranda Mouse springs to her feet and races to the edge of the birdbath. “Marvin, oh my Beloved Marvin! Are you all right, my dearest??”

And then, as the stunned crowd of mini mice gawk at the birdbath, they hear a raucous series of bubbles bursting in the water….quite the finale, indeed!💦

Witchy: 😲 Oh, my goodness! What an incredible performer he is! And what an exciting story!!! Wow, you could write great bedtime stories or anytime stories! But…poor Marvin! 😳 I am glad he is okay! Although…hopefully there were no birds in that bath…🤭🙄

10 — What would be the most unusual way to use cotton balls?

They would be perfect for making fake beards and mustaches. Attach them to cardboard and then put double-stick tape to adhere them to our faces. Dye ’em if you like, to match your own hair color. These would really come in handy for getting out of chores — *deep voice,* “Mary? Oh, I have no idea where she is. I guess you’ll have to do the vacuuming and dusting today…” 🤡

Witchy: Oh, Mary! You are so clever! This is a terrific use of cotton balls! If you do this, maybe that sneaky, midnight-cookie-eating-crumb-leaving mystery person would have to do the vacuuming and dusting! I think you should try it! 🧔🏼

Hmm. I wonder what would happen if I did this and tried to cast spells again! My magic got broken when a “secret trauma” forced me to become vegan. Without eye of newt and rat brains and all that stuff, my spells went wonky and oh, dear, a lot of really bad things happened. 💣💥🔥🚒

But with a fake beard and mustache, maybe my broken magic would think I am somebody else! Somebody who has never needed eye of newt and those things to do spells! And maybe it would work!

Or maybe I would just blow up the woods. Again. 🙄🤦🏻‍♀️

11 — What’s the greatest thing you hope to achieve in your life?

To die with very few regrets! I say this with all sincerity. I believe we are all here to learn lessons. When we don’t do that, we come back for more of the same. And part of learning these lessons is that we do so in conjunction with each other. We are here to support each other with our respective personal evolutions. Every day, whoever we encounter deserves our best intentions. It might be brief, but a simple smile, hello, or unexpected compliment lets them know they matter. It might be the highlight of a tough day for them!

I may not impact the whole world, but if I manage to make a difference for anyone within my little orb ⭕️, helping them with their life lessons, that makes my own life worthwhile.

We are all connected energetically, which is why treating each other kindly and compassionately is so very essential. Love is everything. ❤️🌍❤️

Witchy: Oh, Mary, this made my eyes leak blue tears! Well, they are the only kind I can leak because I am blue. You are always smiley and happy and kind when you play with Liberty and me, and we appreciate it. You have definitely made a big difference for both of us and we are happy to be in your little orb!

We know you are right about what you said. Love is everything. 😍

Thank you for being such a wonderful guest! Your stories are so good! You are such a funny lady! Thank you for your glorious answers! Oooh, I love it when I get to use the new words I’ve learned!

Next week’s guest: Extra funny and super sweet Tamil!!

Check out Mary’s website:

About Mary:

💜 Love Witchy? You can show your support for her work and buy her a Witch’s Brew here! She will be eternally grateful! 🙏🏻💜🧙🏻‍♀️

Want more of Witchy’s interviews?

Tagging our wonderful Pub Family so you can learn more about another of our fabulous members!

Dr Andrea Polzer Kris Bedenian Rodney Brazier Patti Murray Voncannon Carrie Kolar Croix Sather Deb Fiore Dina Alexander DL Nemeril Donnette Anglin Loren Lieberthal Jimmy Misner Jr. Judy Millar Julie Gaeta Pene Hodge Karen Schwartz James Knight Dr. Preeti Singh Radhika Iyer Sam Branstner Sharon Sayler, Author Umme Salma Tamil T Mann Vidya Sury, Collecting Smiles Lion~ Wendy S. Bradfield Yana Bostongirl Jo An Fox-Wright Maddox Suma Narayan Penny Walsh Shameem Anwar Irene Fassler Sandy Peckinpah Trista Signe Ainsworth Slow train A.H. Mehr Ashley Nicole B.R. Shenoy Carolyn Hastings Christina Christine Vann, MSc. Ellie Jacobson Isabel Young Kaz Rochford Nia Simone McLeod Nicole Hilbig Patricia Wright Pam Winter Jodian Marie Thomas, MS, Bsc, Asc L Burton Danielle Hestand Sahil Patel Sharing Words Malky McEwan Barbara Cook Tyra Jaide Eko BP Drashti Shroff Evergreen Eden Bernie Pullen Rhea Anglesey CARMEN F MICSA Robin Oakman Mary Vraa Libby Shively McAvoy Kristina God Niall Leah Debbra Lupien, Voice of the Akashic Records Toya Qualls-Barnette Vashni Stories Dawn :) Divya Goswami BichoDoMato Evon Carole Olsen Jennifer Dunne Kylie van Gelder Neha Sonney, Author Christina Sponias Ian Hanson JF Danskin Patrick OConnell Mary V Elvie Lins❤️ Carmellita Gauri Sirur Kristie Leong M.D. IJaveria Ansari Asim Nori Dipo Adebayo Andreia Damian Jenine Bsharah Baines Jodi Marie Mahein Kazi Mario López-Goicoechea Raine Lore Vishal Mehta Aarti Tailor A Rustic Mind (Manali Desai) Mona S Gable Sarah Firmie Ouangre Anne Emerick Andra Forbes Anaya Nosso Kasturi Patra Mary B Mel Janecka Rebecca Romanelli