About Me—Mary Vraa

Something old, something new … Welcome!

Hello, Medium Lovers! Can we be friends?

I’m new here. Though at 59, some may deem me old … all a matter of perspective, eh? Rose colored glasses, that’s the ticket!

I’m a Midlife Woman who writes about Discovering Clarity. I’m constantly in search of it in my life purpose, my relationships, my home, and my wardrobe. Pondering my life lessons so I don’t need to repeat them (too terribly often). No tall order there.

Originally from the Midwest (Go, Bucky! Go Pack!), I accepted a relocation offer to Arizona 10 years ago.

I had just wrapped up a rigorous regimen to banish cancer. My life felt different so I needed something different. It was time for a change because I changed.

When I arrived, the mountains spoke to me. I no longer felt untethered. There’s something so grounding about the incredibly rugged rock formations.

Now about those relentless summer triple digits? They seem to leach out anything extraneous. The stuff that weighs us down as we travel through life.

One can only retain what matters most. Some days, that might only be an ice cold cerveza! Kidding, I usually prefer a dry martini.

3 Career Paths

I’ve always loved everything Home Beautiful, even at a young age.

Rearranging furniture in my bedroom or reading novels behind gauzy curtains surrounding my canopy bed was my jam.

For me, the home is a sanctuary for the soul. It’s also a metaphor for how we show up: curated for how we want to be seen. Sometimes jammed with what we don’t want to admit … and hide behind closed doors.

No wonder my professional life has always revolved around something with the home:

• I was in the home mortgage industry for over 30 years. I loved helping people achieve their homeownership dreams.
• I reinvented my purpose in 2016 when I founded a small business, helping Seniors downsize and transition to Older Adult communities. So many delayed decisions needed for what to keep and what to release!
• I re-discovered my love of writing and published a book, PopUpPurge™ Release Midlife Clutter & Reclaim Inner Clarity, in 2020. It gently examines the emotions wrapped around our stuff so we can let the excess go. And then we can turn the page, welcoming in a new life chapter!

The good news:

• I’m a very determined person. When I set my mind to something, I’m going do it—and do it very, very well. Look out, coming through, outta the way!
• I’m genuine. I don’t put on airs. I’ll talk with anyone because people are interesting and everyone has a story to tell. If all my friends were gathered in one room, the variety would be incredible and I would be the only common denominator.
• I’m a good listener. When you speak, you get my full attention. Not just for your words but for what you’re not saying aloud, as well.

The rest of the news, ’cause I’m always honest:

• Being determined also means I can be quite stubborn. I want things done my way. Just ask my husband … wait, don’t! And doing something “very, very, well” also tells you I can be a bit of a perfectionist. I need to remind myself that sometimes “good enough” really is good enough.
• Being genuine means I’m not going to pull any punches. If I don’t like something or find value, I can be quick to shift gears and direction. I let my intuition co-pilot with my logic. Yet sometimes, giving things (and people) a chance is important, too.
• Being a good listener also means I will want to respond with my take on your situation. Especially if you’re my 25 year-old son. Saying less can often relay more. A life-long lesson for this one!

My soulful side

While I may present decisively, I easily succumb to squirrelly thoughts and feelings that sideline my next move. It’s one of the perils of being an INFJ, per Myers-Briggs. I need connection yet give me space.

But this is where writing is my savior. Morning Pages, the brilliant concept created by Julia Cameron, deftly chases away my anxiety. Then my writing flows from my heart, instead of sitting stalled in my head.

I like to wrap my inner musings with gentle logic and dry wit. Sharing my own imperfections and missteps helps others, too. We connect as humans, helping each other rise and move forward again.

That’s why I write.

Your turn

Do my words and energy resonate? Then let’s grow together!

Comment here so I can come visit to learn about you and return the love.

But please: I don’t do “follow for follows”. That never feels genuine (because it isn’t) and I’m here to be my Authentic Self. It may take me time to build a tribe but I can be patient for the right things.

If you are interested for more, you can also connect with me on Instagram, (let me know you found me on Medium), follow along with my blog and/or my Facebook page.

And thanks so much for stopping by— Mary V xo