The Witchy One | Community Engagement | Pub Family Interviews

Witchy Interviews Carrie Kolar on Fingers With Teeth, Removing Heads, and Deeply Disturbing Antics

Oh, dear. 🤦🏻‍♀️

Note from Liberty: Happy Sunday, Everyone!

As you may (or may not) know, our little blue witch friend is conducting interviews of our beloved Pub Family members. Today, Witchy shares her interview with Carrie Kolar, whose quirky sense of humour and outrageous imagination light up Medium pages everywhere.

As Witchy doesn’t have her own Medium account, she is using mine.

1) What do you love about writing?

Ooooh, so many things! Writing for me is like talking through my fingertips, but with the dial turned up (I don’t use quite so many italics when I actually talk. I think.). And it’s so much easier to get your thoughts in order when they’re on paper! I make myself giggle a lot with what I write, so sometimes I go back to read things I’ve already written just to entertain myself. It’s really fun!

Witchy: Talking through your fingertips? Boy, that would be weird. Or terrifying! 😳 Can you imagine? How would you brush your teeth if they were in your fingertips? Hmm. Maybe some people do talk with their fingertips because they eat with their hands.

Oh! I get it! Now I know what finger foods are! They are for people who eat and talk with their fingertips!

I am not surprised you giggle when you read your work. I giggle when I read it, too! And I can always tell when Liberty is reading something of yours. She laughs till she snorts. She never snorts. Except when she is reading your words.

2) Do you wish you could turn yourself into pretty colours and patterns? Like be purple paisley? Or green swirls? What colours and patterns would you be: 1) on Tuesdays; 2) in the rain; 3) when you’re eating toast? Unless you hate toast. That would be terrible.

Omg, I love this! And oh oh I totally know — imagine you hung crystals just in the air, all around you, and the sun hit them at just the right angle and they sparkled and threw rainbows. That’s what I would turn myself into in general. Specifically: 1) On Tuesdays I would be a yellow beam like sunshine. 2) In the rain I would be a blue bubble, with iridescent purple on top. 3) When I’m eating toast I would be deep red dots floating up to the ceiling. And I love toast. I love it a little too much. I have to keep myself away from toast sometimes.

Witchy: Yay! You love toast! But…you make yourself stay away from it? That is very sad. I hope toast doesn’t take it personally.

I love your colours. Happy, sunny yellow! And your floating red dots would be fun! I would love to see you be a blue bubble with pretty purple on top! Oooh, you would match me!

The best one is your idea of the sparkles and rainbows from crystals in the sun. Wow. That would be beautiful. I love sparkles and rainbows. 😍

3) Have you ever seen a ghost? If not, do you hope you will?

I have not! I kind of do hope I will one day, that would be super cool.

Witchy: I do not want to see one! I am scared of almost everything (but sh-h-h-h! Don’t tell anyone! It will ruin my image as a mysterious witch!). It would be terrifying to see a ghost! But Liberty says I shouldn’t be afraid of them. She probably thinks I shouldn’t be scared of spiders either! Those things are horrifying! That’s why I have a huge one on my hat. It is my desensitization therapy. I know it’s up there but I don’t have to look at it.

Liberty has seen lots of ghosts in her life and she isn’t scared. Not even of some bad ones that have hurt people! She has been scarier than those bad ghosts and chased them out of people’s houses!

I guess her scared-of-ghosts button is broken.

4) I love socks. Liberty does not love socks. She does not even like them. I think her socks-lover button is broken. Do you love socks? Why? Or oh, no, why not?! Is your socks-lover button broken, too?

My sock-lover button is so not broken that I have a fuzzy sock collection! I adore fuzzy socks. They are the world’s most immediate comfort-giver. You cannot be 100% miserable if you are wearing fuzzy socks, it’s the rules.

Witchy: Ohhh, how exciting! Fuzzy socks? I do not have fuzzy socks. They sound like love blankets for feet. I am pretty sure I need some of those. Yes. Yes, I am very sure. I really do.

5) You get in a crowded elevator. You stand facing everyone while the door closes behind you. What could you say or do to be a little disturbing without getting arrested or stuck in a “hug-yourself” jacket in a room with quilted wallpaper?

I would meow really loudly. And then quietly giggle to myself the entire rest of the elevator ride.

Witchy: I think that would be fun! And if I were in the elevator, I would meow back at you. Hmm. I wonder if anyone else would meow, too. 🧐

6) If a little birdie gets smacked in the head, what does it see circling above it?

Anvils, for some reason. I may have gotten that from Looney Tunes.

Witchy: 😱 I do not know this “Looney Tunes” person. But if he smacks birds in the head with anvils, he is a pinhead. He should live in the Transylvania Forest with all the mean witches who were so awful to me when my spells went wonky.

7) If you could make part of your body removable or exchangeable, what would it be?

Oh, I know this one! So the author of The Wizard of Oz actually has a whole series of Oz books, and in one (I think it’s Ozma of Oz?) there is a princess who can actually remove and replace her head. She has a whole closet of different heads that she can exchange and wear whenever she pleases, so she can change her looks according to her mood! I would do that 😊.

Witchy: Ohh! Liberty has all of those Oz books. She loves them so much. She said I should read them but now I am scared! A princess who removes her head? 🤢🤕 And has a whole bunch of other ones?

Besides being creepy, it must be confusing for Ozma. I’ll bet she’s always getting a head of herself.

8) Trouble is brewing in the pens/pencils/scissors caddy on your desk. There’s talk of an affair between two of the residents. One of them is taking advantage of a long-distance relationship with the stapler on the other side of the desk. It’s adopted a “when the cat’s away” attitude. What are some of the conversations? — either between the couple having the affair, the others who watch from anear (well, they’re not afar). Is the stapler suspicious? Has anyone told him? Or is he blissfully unaware?

Hmph. Well, that’s not very fair to the stapler! I just finished Season 2 of Bridgerton on Netflix, so in my head I’m watching the residents read a gossip sheet and hearing the author Lady’s Whistledown’s voice saying:

Gentle reader,

The spring is upon us, and with the flowers blooms a new host of SCANDAL. It appears that two residents of the pen caddy are engaging in a scandalous and quite illicit affair. The identities of these residents are as yet unknown, but I assure you, dear reader, this author is determined to bring their identities to light and to your knowledge. Our travail in this matter is made easier by the knowledge that one of them is actually in a relationship with the stapler. Does he know? Or is blissful ignorance the order of the day? We shall soon discover, because as these secrets come to light, the ruin of at least one of the parties involved will be assured.

Witchy: Oh, boy! That sounds terrifying! 😳 Somebody is going to be in big trouble! I am glad I am not in trouble. It was bad enough when I nearly blew up the Forest.

Although if I had a nice lady narrating about it like you just did, I might not mind so much. Hmm. I wonder if it is possible to have someone narrate your life while you are doing stuff. 🧐

9) What would be the creepiest thing you could say while passing a stranger on the street? It may or may not be something you say directly to that person but you would definitely intend for your comment to be heard.

“I bet your eyeballs taste good.”

Witchy: 😳

10) If animals could talk, which one would be the rudest? Give examples of what it would say or how it would act.

Birds! I’m pretty sure birds are just going around saying, “Hey! Hey! Hey! F*** you! F*** you! F*** you!” all the live-long day. We just think they’re adorable because we can’t understand them.

Witchy: What is F***? I do not know what this means or how to read these: ***.

11) What is the greatest thing you hope to achieve in your life?

Ooooh good question. There are a lot of things I would like to achieve — writing a book, starting a business, doing ALL the things! But the single greatest thing I would like to achieve is peace. Just peace within myself, the ability to simply be. No pushing, no drive to achieve something in this moment, no guilt. Just peace.

Witchy: Wow! That is a lot! Writing a whole book? I have trouble sitting still long enough to read one. Even a little at a time. Oops.

And starting a business! You must be extra very smart.🤓

I am sure you will get to do everything on your list. It is so much fun that you want to do ALL the things. I do, too! I have too many ideas. Liberty is teaching me how to organise them. Well, I mean, um…she is trying to teach me how to organise them.

Liberty: 🤦🏻‍♀️

Witchy: And because I am scared of so many things (Sh-h-h-h!), she has been wanting to teach me how to meditate so I won’t be scared anymore. But…I am too scared to try!

Liberty: 🤦🏻‍♀️

Witchy: Maybe she will have better luck with you. She says meditating is peaceful. And that you can always feel peaceful by changing how you see things. She makes it sound so easy.

And then I see spiders. 👹 😱 No matter how I see them, they’re terrifying!

Thank you for letting me interview you, Carrie! I think it would be a lot of fun to live near you. We could hang out in elevators and do experiments, and write books about them. 😬 🙄

Liberty: Oy vey.

Here are some fun articles by Carrie!

Tagging our Pub Family so they can learn more about one of our members!!

Dr Andrea Polzer Kris Bedenian Rodney Brazier Patti Murray Voncannon Carrie Kolar Croix Sather Deb Fiore Dina Alexander DL Nemeril Donnette Anglin Loren Lieberthal Jimmy Misner Jr. Judy Millar Julie Gaeta Pene Hodge Karen Schwartz James Knight Laura Izquierdo Dr. Preeti Singh Radhika Iyer Sam Branstner Sharon Sayler, Author Umme Salma Susie Kearley Tamil T Mann Vidya Sury, Collecting Smiles Lion~ Wendy S. Bradfield Yana Bostongirl Jo An Fox-Wright Maddox Suma Narayan Penny Walsh Shameem Anwar Irene Fassler Sandy Peckinpah Trista Signe Ainsworth Slow train A.H. Mehr Alex Frederickson Ashley Nicole B.R. Shenoy Carolyn Hastings Christina Christine Vann, MSc. Ellie Jacobson ✍🏻 The Soulful Scribbler Isabel Young Kaz Rochford Nia Simone McLeod Nicole Hilbig Patricia Wright Pam Winter Rachella Angel Page Jodian Marie Thomas, MS, Bsc, Asc L Burton Muhammad Abdullah Kate Aries Danielle Hestand Sahil Patel Jessica Rabel Sharing Words Malky McEwan Belinda Castle Barbara Cook Tyra Jaide Megan Llorente Eko BP Drashti Shroff Evergreen Eden Bernie Pullen Hamsalekha Rhea Anglesey CARMEN F MICSA Robin Oakman Mary Vraa Libby Shively McAvoy Kristina God Niall Leah Debbra Lupien, Voice of the Akashic Records Toya Qualls-Barnette June Kirri Dawn :) Divya Goswami BichoDoMato Evon Carole Olsen Cosmin Firta Jennifer Dunne Kylie van Gelder Neha Sonney, Author Christina Sponias Ian Hanson Ira Robinson JF Danskin Patrick OConnell Mary V Elvie Lins❤️ Carmellita Roopleen Esther Friolo- Guirao Gauri Sirur Kristie Leong M.D. IJaveria Ansari Asim Nori Dipo Adebayo Andreia Damian Berthran Benaiah Jenine Bsharah Baines Jodi Marie Ximena Paz Paredes