Will We All Be Bisexual in 50 Years?

Chronicle of an Open Marriage #9

When I switched on the radio while driving across town, I caught the last few minutes of an interview with a writer on NPR. I didn’t recognize the writer and hadn’t heard of his book, but the few things he said were intriguing enough that I looked up the programming schedule when I got back home. It turned out to be Edmund White, whose latest book — A Previous Life — was published Jan. 25.

The host asked if White minded being classified as a gay writer. He said no. “I may not be as famous as Saul Bellow or Philip Roth, but I’m important to my community.” I loved his confidence in comparing himself to those renowned writers, and I loved his philosophy, too. It’s not important or even desirable to write for everyone. If you write for “your people,” that’s enough.

So who are your people? Once you figure that out, you can find them on Medium. That’s one thing I love about the platform. Take me writing about opening up my marriage, as I did here and here (and elsewhere). Once I knew that was going to be my topic, I was delighted to find a dozen people writing about ethical non-monogamy on Medium, providing both good and bad examples of how this might go. And when my husband expressed interest in homosexual sex, I was glad I could come to Prism & Pen to hear LGBTQ voices. As both a reader and a writer, finding “my people” serves me well.

The host went on to ask White about his famous sex scenes — or infamous, depending on which book critic you’re talking to — which had been mostly homosexual in his previous 29 books but include more variety in the newest one. His answer delighted me.

“That word — homosexual — sounds almost old fashioned. Don’t you think that we’ll all be bisexual in 50 years?”

Of course, that’s not literally true. We won’t all be bisexual. Some of us will be dead. But that’s the trend as White sees it, and the more I think about it, the more I like the idea for a number of reasons.

1. The planet can’t sustain us anymore. In evolutionary terms, humans have been too successful. We’re like an infestation of pests. We’re choking the planet and threatening all other species. Mother Earth is doing her best to get rid of us with global warming, extreme weather, and pandemics, etc., not to mention big diseases and plummeting semen counts. But she needs help. One good way to reduce our overall numbers is to have less heterosexual sex.
2. The patriarchy is killing us. Some would say the patriarchy is at the root of every injustice on Earth. Untold amounts of money and violence have been spent on keeping a few powerful men on top. The foundation of this hierarchy is the oppression of women, hence the name patriarchy, which derives from the Greek roots for “father” (pater) and “rule” (arch). All the other injustices — racial, sexual orientation, financial — are supported by that basic wrong. Because once you set one gender above another, that creates the basic lens of inequality through which you interpret the world.

But what if women were no longer promoted (and isolated) as the only desirable sexual “commodity” on the market? What if sex was no longer in short supply? What if every adult human could have sex with every other adult human, as long as both (or all) were willing? Wouldn’t that have an overall leveling effect? Wouldn’t the patriarchy come tumbling down?

The first thing that would happen is sex would be a lot more prevalent. You would have doubled the pool of potential candidates, and very few would go without. Here are some possible results:

• No more gender boxes we are forced to fit into, since all gender expressions and sexual orientations would be encouraged and allowed
• No more violence against women, since women would no longer be considered inferior and fair game for domination once gender boxes are destroyed
• No more violence against gays (see above)
• No more violence against people of color (see above)
• No more violence, period! Men wouldn’t have to assert their dominance over other men through physical violence; they could just f*ck each other instead
• Women wouldn’t risk body-altering surgeries like breast or butt implants to make them hyper feminine because men wouldn’t be the only ones they’re trying to attract
• Incels wouldn’t obsess over the women who won’t date them; they would date each other instead
• Men wouldn’t catcall or otherwise intimidate women. There’d be no sexual scarcity, so no reason to force or steal; rape culture would be non-existent

Maybe I’m being a little over optimistic? But I think the general premise is correct. Universal bisexuality would weaken the patriarchy. And a weakened patriarchy would benefit us all.

That’s what I’m thinking, anyway, so I went out and bought Edmund White’s book. So far, it’s mostly about sex, which I’m not finding compelling. But I might learn to like it. I’ll let you know when I’m done.

Meanwhile, Covid has kept me and Hubs inactive on the open marriage front, so there are no new adventures to report. But there will be. Stay tuned…

What happens next? Read Chronicle of an Open Marriage #10. Find all of my stories about opening our marriage on the list below, or about sex in general on this one. Get an email whenever I publish. Woo hoo!