Episode Update
Will Terry Live?
The post-op edition
Friday, March 26
Our heroine arrives for surgery. She isn’t nervous. Much. On this visit, she had enough forethought to pop two chill pills just before leaving the house. She was nice and mellow by the time she arrived.
She was early, which is what they wanted. She had missed a few calls from Surgery requesting that she arrive early as they were running early. She couldn’t help but wonder if this was a good thing or a bad thing.
It was the usual upon arrival. Check-in. The standard ten COVID questions, insurance information give, etc. Then you wait. Then you get called back, and then it’s weight, height, BP, temp. Then a lovely lavender paper gown that ties in the back. The only girlfriend was talking so fast I could have sworn she said, “Open in the front”. I knew I wasn’t there for a boob job, but, hey. Of course not. I heard her speak in a rare tongue of “backwards” if that’s such a thing. It was to be opened in the back. Now that made more sense.
Everyone is talking fast or I’m hearing slow and nothing makes any sense. An IV goes in and then blah, blah, blah and two syringes later and my ability to comprehend gets no better.
From time to time I walk with a cane for stability reasons. One girl put it under the hospital bed. A different girl then came in and didn’t know it was under there and went to lower the bed and CRUNCH.
I now need a new cane.
Pre-op conversation with the surgeon made me perk up a bit. Not “happy” perk up, but as in the sense that maybe a cup of coffee had kicked in. (Which mind you of this writing I haven’t had in 2 days now).
Instead of doing one procedure, he’s going 2. Then the surgical nurse lets it slip that it’s really three.
Okay. Okay. I get it. You show-offs can count. You can stop it now.
Off to the OR I go. My nurse is so sweet. She’s smiling at me and squeezes my arm from time to time for reassurance. Hell. I’m about to be sent to oblivion. I must remind her of her grandma or something.
Clowning and tomfoolery abound as I am still awake. But post-op?
Oye vey.
A high as a kite email my friends got once I got back home should summarize this nicely.
How did it go?
Not well at all, I’m afraid.
I had to be intubated at one point. They broke a tooth during that process. I was to have 1 procedure done. They ended up doing 2. It took about 6 hrs start to finish. It was supposed to be 2. I’ve already puked my guts out this morning because it’s been a day and a half since I’ve eaten, but I had a belly full of narcotics. All I’ve had is Ensure.
So now the bleeding and pain have started yet again.
Oh, and they crushed my cane, so now it needs to be replaced.
And apparently, there was a lot of blood involved. In Recovery, a nurse was helping me get dressed and had to call for a 2nd nurse to come with washcloths. I had blood down my shoulder and back that needed to be cleaned up first.
I’m just glad it’s over with.
I get popsicles now :-)
Sunday, March 28
Drugs, sleep, drugs, sleep, over and over again. Since tomorrow is the 29th and I’ll be 58, I want some damn cake, not just popsicles! This sleep thing is overrated at this point. But it still beats the alternative. Gut-wrenching pain.
Where IS that damned WH of mine!? I need another popsicle!
I try to read and my eyes roll to places unknown to me. Same with YT vids and TV. All I can do is lie here and wait for it to be over with.
Liked married sex.
Monday, March 29
This morning I am surrounded by love. A puke bowl, plain oatmeal, and Ensure.
To me.
Today will be spent in my jammies and eating popsicles in between naps. So basically, I reliving my childhood birthday today!
March 19, 2021 episode March 24, 2021 episode March 29, 2021 post-op, birthday special (This one) April 2, 2021 episode