Why You Shouldn’t Tell Her You’re Hung (Even if You Are)
Underpromise. Overdeliver.
How do you impress someone when one of your best assets is hidden?
That’s a problem I came across a few times while browsing a subreddit called Big Dick Problems.
Like the name implies, it’s where people share the problems that come with having a big cock (or occasionally, of fucking someone with one) and ask for advice on how to deal with them.
A lot of the posts have to do with finding the right kind of underwear, figuring out condoms that fit properly, making sex more comfortable, and the trials and tribulations of being someone with a noticeable dick print.
On a few occasions, a poster has asked how he can let a girl know about his size, like when they’re on a date.
Thankfully, there’s usually a few people in the responses giving the poster the right answer. Quite simply: you don’t tell her. There’s no classy way to do it.
I know that some guys are tempted to lead with their size. Since I started writing about sex, I’ve had more than one message from guys who send dick pics instead of saying hello.
Occasionally, I’ll get DMs from guys telling me they’ve read my work so they know I’ll appreciate what they’ve got, followed immediately by a cock shot.
I get why guys do this. If you really think the size of your dick is your best shot at getting a girl’s attention, or if you think more women would approach you if they knew about it, it’s tempting to make sure she knows what you’re packing.
Obviously, no one should be sending unsolicited dick pics. That’s virtual flashing and it isn’t cool.
But even finding a way to slip your dick size into the conversation is misguided. There’s a very good chance it won’t get you the results you’re hoping for, and there are a few reasons why.
Underpromise and Overdeliver
Even if the girl you’re hitting up likes a big cock, telling a girl the size of your dick isn’t the best way to impress her. Letting her know ruins the element of surprise.
You’ll get a much bigger wow factor if she doesn’t expect it.
The guy I’ve fucked who had the biggest dick was around nine inches in length. He had never once mentioned his size or implied that he was hung.
The first time he took it out in front of me, I said “oh wow” under my breath.
It wasn’t loud, but it was the first time I gave a verbal response to seeing a guy’s a cock. And it was all because I wasn’t expecting him to unleash such a long trouser snake.
If she assumes you’re average, let her. It’s always better to underpromise and overdeliver (in all aspects of life, not just the dick-related ones).
Plus, letting her know you’re well hung can backfire. People have a way of building things up in their minds. If you say you’re big and she expected a foot-long dong, she might be disappointed by 10 inches because she expected more. That’s not a great outcome for either of you.
Bragging About Your Cock Is… Cocky
Mentioning your dick size or making a big deal out of it almost always comes across as cocky. And cockiness is a major turn-off for women.
Confidence, though, is sexy as fuck.
If you’re hung, the best thing you can do is use it to project some big dick energy. That kind of confidence is going to make you much more attractive than your measurements could.
It’s a Sign of Insecurity
One of the major red flags that women are on the lookout for are signs of insecurity.
Talking about your dick size makes it seem like you’re wearing your insecurities on your sleeve. Even if you’re not insecure about it, that’s likely how it will come across.
Every woman has dealt with guys who really need to let them know about their dick — who need to let everyone know about their dick.
They seem so worried about making sure no one thinks they’re average or below that you suspect they might even shout out their measurements during a church service.
Those guys are usually pretty damn insecure. They’re not secure in their masculinity or they don’t believe in their value, so they lean heavily on their size (whether it’s real or exaggerated).
If you make sure she knows how big your dick is, she might end up lumping you in with those dudes. Instead of simply enjoying your company, she’ll be worried that starting a relationship with you will doom her to constantly reassuring you that you’re big (and lying about the ex whose cock was thicker than yours).
Insecure guys have ruined the dick brag, so it’s better to avoid it altogether.
It Might Low-Key Insult Her
Slipping your size into the conversation might not only make you seem cocky and insecure, it could also imply that she’s shallow.
That’s probably not your intention. But giving your measurements, implying you’re big, or casually mentioning that you’re about a mid-sized zucchini might send the message that you think it’s all she cares about.
Obviously, there’s always a little superficial element to flirting and dating. You’ll want to be with someone who makes you feel good about your body and your appearance.
The superficial stuff, though, should always be in reference to the girl you’re on a date with, not yourself. Tell her about your hobbies, your interests, and share your best stories. But let her be the one to comment on your cock.
Great Sex Isn’t About Dick Size
Trying to improve your chances with a girl by mentioning the size of your cock can make it seem like you don’t really know what you’re doing.
Guys who think their size is the most important thing they have to offer often don’t think they have to put much effort into sex. Just bust out the massive hog, pound her with it, and the job is done.
Except that’s totally wrong. Good sex is about being attentive. It’s about being responsive to your partner. It’s about being giving.
It’s communication, patience, and technique.
And a big cock doesn’t always make sex better. In fact, it can make it more challenging.
If you show off that you’re hung, it doesn’t matter if you’re a sex god. All she might see is a guy who thinks his size is all he needs to carry her to orgasm.
If you want her to think you’re a good fuck, you’d do better by showing off your piano playing. That kind of manual dexterity and finger finesse goes a lot further than size ever could.
You’re Selling Yourself Short
For most women, a bigger dick can be intriguing, it can be attractive, or it can be a perk. But it’s not a dealbreaker or even a major consideration.
If she likes you, it’s going to be for all sorts of other reasons, no matter how big your package is.
Don’t sell yourself short by trying to sell yourself huge. Instead of putting your size front and center, show her all the other things you have to offer.
Showcase your smooth charm and your verbal banter.
Make her smile with your light sense of humor.
Stop her in her tracks with your great character.
All of those things are going to be way more important to her than your size.
Don’t Spoil It
If your dick size comes up naturally, that’s fine. At that point, you can give her your measurements.
I’ve asked guys to describe their cocks for me. I leave it up to them if they want to mention their size, but I’m always happy to hear about it in that context.
If she’s not asking, though, it’s best to keep it under wraps. It can rub her the wrong way and even ruin your chances of getting to show her what it can do.
In the end, if there’s enough connection and chemistry between the two of you, she’ll get to see your size for herself. There’s no need to tell her ahead of time. Besides, why spoil the surprise?
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